TV

POSTED: Friday, January 21, 2011, 9:30 PM
Filed Under: Critical Mass | TV Shore Trash
mtv.com
The newest roommate Deena with Pauly D
Each Friday, Diana Palmieri breaks down the shenanigans happening on the newest season of Jersey Shore. This week, like many other red-blooded Americans with an acquired taste for trashy television, I managed to fry twice as many brain cells than normal. Why?: MTV aired two new episodes of Jersey Shore. Monday's episode illustrated Snooki's highly publicized day at the beach. I watched as Snooki took several nose dives into the sand and drunkenly frolicked in the water. This was after, of course, binge drinking and smuggling beers at work. Pretty much a day in the life. The cliff hanger detailed Snooki's arrest, leaving viewers wondering what would become of the little meatball. Would she be released or forced to snook for love behind bars? Well, of course she got out later that day. The "Free Snooki" t-shirt that JWOWW was sporting was kind of a spoiler alert.
mtv.com
Snooki laid out
After Snooki returned to the house, finally sobered up, she was able to reflect on her poor judgment and decided that she didn't want to drink anymore. This made me very nervous. Without Snooki's weekly drunken demise, I wondered what would become of Jersey Shore. Would I be forced to solely tune in to watch Ronnie and Sammi break up (again) or The Situation making references to himself in the third person? Then, JWOWW, the unmistakable voice of reason, argued that Snooki didn't have to quit drinking entirely. After all, a glass of wine on a Thursday night is totally acceptable. Snooki seemed to agree. "Yeah, I think Pinot is okay. Pregnant people do it." Crisis averted. While Snooki was left to reflect on her poor judgment (except not really, since it made for fantastic TV), the new cast member continued to solidify her place in the house. Deena, who introduced herself to her new roommates as "a walking holiday," won me over as soon as her Snook-a-like self strolled into Seaside. She embodied the essence of Saint Patrick's Day when she arrived to the house drunk, performed an accidental striptease for The Situation, and verbally assaulted Sammi — all in the same episode.
mtv.com
The fake Dean
Later, Deena went out to the club with Mike, Vinny and Pauly, and found a guy that eerily resembled Ronnie. At first I thought the guys were exaggerating when they said they found a Ronnie replacement. Dean, or Ronnie 2.0, could easily be mistaken for the original. He had the look down, from his immense muscles most probably resulting from overdoses of steroids and protein shakes, all the way to his Ryan Seacrest inspired fauxhawk. He even had a girlfriend named Sam, just like the original Ronnie. Of course, Deena was the last to know the girlfriend bit, finding out after Ronnie 2.0 had spent the night. The episode ended on somewhat of a sour note when JWOWW broke up with her boyfriend over the phone. I'm a fan of JWOWW, primarily for her temperamental and violent tendencies, and didn't really enjoy the ending montage of sad music. Frankly, that's not what I tune in for. Now that JWOWW has found a new gorilla juicehead, and Snooki managed to end the episode with a guy with "La Famiglia" tramp stamped on his lower back, the two can stop crying ... unless they are drunk.
Richard Parker
Posted 2011-02-06 15:50:12
Nicole's explanation is really ridiculous. Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is not very familiar with biology.
Posted by Diana Palmieri @ 9:30 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Monday, January 17, 2011, 9:24 PM
Filed Under: TV
Ricky Gervais taking Hollywood to task as Golden Globe host.
Ricky Gervais clearly thought it was a roast of American entertainment when he accepted the job of hosting the 68th Golden Globes. Robert Downey Jr. thought Gervais' scalding one-liners went too far. Why, oh why RDJ? Things were going so well! You were riding high on my man-crush list with your recent flourish of laid-back, cocky lead roles where you take nothing seriously and save the day. But it turns out the real RDJ finds Hollywood jokes to be "mean-spirited" to the point of having "sinister undertones." Ricky Gervais: WIN RDJ: Fail
Christian Bale: WIN
Christian Bale is managing his post-freakout-gaffe years quite nicely, by donning full grunge-era Eddie Vedder locks and laying on his thickest cockney accent during an "us hooligans are having a blast at this party" acceptance speech. He was so convincing as a regular dude having a good old time, I almost forgot that two years ago he wouldn't have thought twice about head-butting a caterer for leaving the wrong blend of herbal tea in his makeup trailer.
Natalie Portman accepting Golden Globe
The pregnant and (thankfully) not-anorexic looking Natalie Portman gave a genuine but awkward speech about how her choreographer in Black Swan "wants to sleep with me" and how her grandmother is watching in Cincinatti, tying on a buzz. In her defense, she is now married to her choreographer, and who doesn't have an sloshy Nana? So I'll let her slip by with a win because she looked good in her preggers dress and was brilliant in the insane ballet art-flick. Natalie Portman: WIN Natalie Portman's character in Black Swan: (spoiler alert:) FAIL Colin Firth, who learned to speak with a speech impediment for his role in A King's Speech, managed to get through an exquisitely British acceptance speech without stuttering. Was I secretly hoping for a bit of accidental yammering? I'll never tell. Collin Firth: WIN Me: FAIL The Social Network snowballed through the awards, collecting four Globes, including Best Drama. The premier film to illuminate the digital coalescence of our collective unconscious is well on its way to being considered the most important film of the new decade. Has any other film told the tale of revolutionary social history without the vantage of decades in between? (If you're not familiar with the little start-up company called Facebook, then I'm frankly amazed that you're even reading this.) The HFPA (for making the right call!): WIN Those dudes who trusted a bitter geek with their plans for online Harvard socializing: FAIL
Chris Colfer reeling
Chris Colfer gave his best "I'm about to puke" face as his name was called for best Supporting Actor on Glee (which also won for best comedy/music series). His shaky, pre-pubescent "I don't belong here" schtick was pretty thorough, complete with cheesy love-struck nods to Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore (which came off as suspiciously over-compensatory — not that there's anything wrong with that!). Colfer: WIN Accomplished actors that lost to a kid who Justin Beiber could easily punch in the face at a laser-tag outing: FAIL
Posted by Ryan Carey @ 9:24 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Monday, January 17, 2011, 8:00 PM
Filed Under: TV
NBC.com
Lighten up, Hollywood!
This year's Golden Globes was a fairly reserved, ho-hum affair, with the exception of Ricky Gervais — who apparently wasn't kidding when he said he would try to not be invited to host again. From saying he helped the president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association pop in his dentures to joking about Robert Downey Jr.'s long-past drug addiction and legal troubles, Gervais insulted nearly everyone in the room — and even some who weren't, like those old biddies from Sex and the City 2. I have to admit, though, that most of it was pretty funny and I felt my fair share of schadenfreude. Okay, I'll be honest, I fell asleep half way through, but the On-Demand video is worth watching if you can stomach the witty, gracious, and heart-warming acceptance speeches. The cast of Glee was too cute, and I loved seeing Lea Michele cry when Chris Colfer won best Supporting Actor in a TV Series. "I think I just dropped my heart between Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore, so if anyone sees that, please give it back to me," Colfer said before thanking the legion of young "outsiders" who watch Glee. His breathlessness and sincerity was adorable.
Colin Firth, who won Best Actor in a Drama Motion Picture for The King's Speech, shared his over-the-hill status by saying "Right now, this is all that stands between me and a Harley Davidson, so I owe you a very great debt." And Natalie Portman, who couldn't stop gushing about her fiance and babydaddy Benjamin Millepied, began what might have been a speech ended by sad orchestra music, but she seemed to have practiced ahead of time. She called her co-star Mila Kunis "sweet lips" and personally thanked what seemed like everyone on Black Swan's payroll. Did Gervais' fun-poking make everyone so sensitive? Or is Hollywood just going through a weird time right now? As cute as it all was, let's hope the Oscars are a little more stimulating. Check back later today for a "his" take on the Globes.
Posted by Bianca Brown @ 8:00 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Saturday, January 8, 2011, 6:44 PM
Filed Under: TV
No, you didn't just stumble across Meal Ticket to discover a new burger joint opening in town. Sorry. It's actually an animated comedy premiering tomorrow night on Fox, and I thought the trailer looked promising. Created by Loren Bouchard (Adult Swim's Home Movies), it centers around the cute but dysfunctional Belcher family and the shenanigans involved as they operate a small hamburger restaurant. Check out the trailer below:
rubytrig
Posted 2011-01-08 22:25:26
Very Interesting! I just now printed Coupons of my Favorite Brands for free from "Printapons" you can find them online.
Caitlin Connors
Posted 2011-01-10 13:28:06
Very funny... I did think I was the first to know about a new restaurant :)
Josh Middleton
Posted 2011-01-10 17:19:40
Sorry Caitlin!
bob's burgers review
Posted 2011-01-11 09:49:57
Bob's Burgers received some mixed criticism. Some see the humor but i really do not. Bad jokes, bad deliverance and absolutely not funny.
Josh Middleton
Posted 2011-01-11 10:34:53
Thanks for your thoughts!
Posted by Josh Middleton @ 6:44 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Wednesday, January 5, 2011, 3:00 PM
Filed Under: TV Idol Hands
nydailynes.com
For you American Idol buffs out there, we've become privy to changes being made to the upcoming season. You already know about the new judges (Jenny from the Block and Steven Tyler), but with them comes a few formatting tweaks that producers are hoping will give the show a fresh twist, such as ... Instead of flying 60 contestants to Hollywood for that agonizing three-week initial round, there will only be 40 contestants whittled down to 20 by the judges. At that point, America will decide the remaining (10 or 12) songbirds in a "sudden death" voting round. Also, they're not dividing the final 20 into an equal number of males and females — they'll be chosen by talent alone. So now you know what's happening. The question, however, is: Do you still give a damn?
Posted by Josh Middleton @ 3:00 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Wednesday, November 17, 2010, 4:09 PM
Filed Under: TV
Have you seen Bristol Palin and The Situation's ridiculous abstinence PSA? It's kind of hard to watch, but check it out and let us know what you think. My opinion? Douchey.
ThomasT
Posted 2010-11-17 11:28:22
How can you label this an "abstinence PSA"? While I don't relate to either character at all, and Palin's delivery is unbelievably bad, I thought the script actually did a nice job of simulating a respectful dialogue between an abstainer from and an active practitioner of premarital sex. The Candie's Foundation is not an abstinence-only organization at all. PS: you misspelled your tag.
Josh Middleton
Posted 2010-11-17 12:05:46
Interesting take, ThomasT. I think the underlying message is definitely abstinence, considering it's Palin who gets the last word and The Situation is made to look like a total tool. Candie's may not be an abstinence only organization, but Palin's work for them is definitely abstinence-based. Wouldn't you agree?
ChellyChele
Posted 2010-11-17 12:25:39
This is utterly ridiculous.  This isn't even about abstinence if the idiot is showing condoms.  Bristol's delivery is lame and unbelievable and the Situation's delivery is just asinine.  You shouldn't use someone who's already had sex that resulted in a teen pregnancy ad to say don't have sex when she ended up being a "celebrity" afterwards.  It seems like she got rewarded so where's the down-side?
Josh Middleton
Posted 2010-11-17 12:44:00
I heard that, chelleychele!
ThomasT
Posted 2010-11-17 12:49:30
We're both waayy out of the target demo. It's of no consequence whatsoever that you and I agree that the Sitch comes off like a tool. I'm not at all familiar with the rest of his body of "work," but my impression is that ALL of it makes him come off like a tool to me. But apparently, some people, including teenage boys, admire and want to emulate him. Seeing him a) back off of a girl relatively politely, and b) promote condom use is a good message for those afflicted with Sitch-admiration.

ChellyChele's comment is much more on point - is Bristol Palin really a good spokesperson for the downside of teen pregnancy? I'm even farther out of that demographic, but it's true that her pregnancy raised her profile, and there's no real news of negative impact on her life from it.
Posted by Josh Middleton @ 4:09 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Thursday, October 14, 2010, 9:31 PM
Filed Under: TV
Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar storm off the View set today when Bill O'Shitty starts taunting them about the mosque at Ground Zero. What a douche ball.
Paul Curci
Posted 2010-10-14 23:31:18
If you happen to have a forum for reaching millions of Americans daily, and you tell them repeatedly, over and over, and over, that they should fear or be threatened by something or someone.... it doesn't matter who or what, over time, many of them will begin to believe it. Especially, if you've preyed on their fears long enough for them to regard you as a trust source. 

This is the genius behind people like Bill O'Reilly. And, this is what makes him so dangerous. He stops just short of yelling fire in a crowded theater.

... and what's with the orange make-up? Dude looks like he's wearing 'Man Tan'.
Josh Middleton
Posted 2010-10-15 10:44:07
You tell 'em, Paul! And he should definitely stay away from the man tan ......
esther
Posted 2010-10-15 16:03:14
you don't believe a word he says,fine.please act your age and show some decorum.
Posted by Josh Middleton @ 9:31 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Tuesday, October 12, 2010, 5:01 PM
Filed Under: TV | Win
I might have photoshopped this.
Wanna go see the live version of A&E's Paranormal State at the Keswick on Wednesday? Then you gotta write a haiku in the comments below! Make it about the show, or ghosts, or something kinda related. We'll pick our favorites tonight sometime. Please adhere to the 5-7-5 syllable structure, as these numbers have significance in the next realm. Case you don't know, Paranormal State is a TV show where Penn State alums go around talking to ghosts and hearing noises. The live version involves storytelling with the stars/creators, followed by a Q&A. I wrote about it in last week's paper. Wed., Oct. 13, 8 p.m., $24.50-$29.50, Keswick Theatre, 291 N. Keswick Ave., Glenside, 215-572-7650, keswicktheatre.com.
Posted by Patrick Rapa @ 5:01 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Friday, September 3, 2010, 7:00 PM
Filed Under: Interview | Movies | TV
Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Charlie Day as Dan in Going the Distance
The main goal of Going the Distance (in area theaters today) is to be anything but the typical romantic comedy: The lovelorn leads (Drew Barrymore and Justin Long), stuck in long distance relationship, speak in expletive-laced sentences rather than amorous cliche. Many thanks are due to Charlie Day, who plays Long's roommate Dan, and steals every scene he's in — whether it's giving heartfelt relationship advice while taking a dump or soundtracking Long and Barrymore's first tryst with "Take My Breath Away." But, of course Day is a scene-stealer; you've watched him do the exact same thing for six seasons as Charlie Kelly on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. We called up Day to chat about Going the Distance, the new season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Thu., Sept. 16, FX, 10 p.m.) and why the ladies love Charlie Kelly. City Paper: I think a lot of romantic comedies live or die on the role you play in Going the Distance — this quirky best friend to the bland romantic lead. It can be the best part of the movie... Charlie Day: Or the worst. CP: Like Bruno Kirby in When Harry Met Sally... CD: I definitely wasn't thinking about being the next Bruno Kirby. I thought about the part the I was doing and just thought about doing the best that I could. But I also thought about making him real, and making him a guy you like so he wasn't just some stereotypical sidekick. I thought it was good that Jason Sudeikis was there too, so it was the two of us and not just about one guy who is always there to be the shoulder to cry on. CP: You're working with Jason Sudeikis again in your next movie, Horrible Bosses. CD: So far so good, obviously I haven't seen anything cut together but what we're shooting is certainly really, really funny. Boy, I hate to see how they mess that up. CP: Did you just fall in love with Sudeikis' Tom Selleck mustache? Was that it? You just couldn't get enough of it? CD: That was it. And I had him on the set of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia this year this will be third Sudeikis-Day joint you can see. CP: As a Philadelphian and representative of our illustrious ilk, I do have to ask about the next season. Can you give me any hints? What can we expect? CD: There's a lot of good stuff, we've got some great guest stars: Dave Foley from Kids in the Hall, he comes on and he's super great; Tom Sizemore did a funny little thing. We did some really good episodes. Put it this way, Charlie and Dennis actually make it out of Philly for a little bit of an adventure. CP: You're leaving us?! CD: We're not leaving! We're just going on a little bit of a jaunt to Atlantic City and it makes a really great episode. CP: If there's one place that you could make look worse than Philadelphia, it's Atlantic City. Did you guys go there? CD: We actually shot it in Philly, in the Harrahs Casino in Port Charles [Port Charles is where General Hospital is set, so we think he meant Chester]. CP: Did you get to gamble? CD: I did not, I did a lot of acting. It was a long day. Chase Utley and Ryan Howard were in that episode, and they're really funny. CP: I've read that you were a baseball player in college. How strong was your desire to just play catch with them all day? CD: We did get to. In the scene, Dennis has a catch with Chase Utley and I asked if I could get in it for a sec and I threw him a knuckleball that blew his mind. CP: So we should we expect you batting in Howard's spot soon? CD: I could come in for a few relief innings but I don't think I could get a bat on the ball. CP: One of the similarities you see between your Going the Distance character and Charlie Kelly is this certain sweetness. It's kind of like you've both been dropped on your heads a couple times but it only served to make you a nicer guy. What makes you gravitate toward these sweet-dunce roles? CD: It's definitely like that in Horrible Bosses too. The simple answer is that's part of the reason I got cast in that role. But also the sweetness comes out to make him real, and not a total cartoon character. You have to believe in the person as a real person and what helps me as a performer is knowing what the character is in love with or cares about. With Charlie Kelly, it's the Waitress and with Dan it was Garrett [Justin Long]. CP: The male bonding you get in this movie is so much more than in most romantic comedies, and director Nanette Burstein lingers on you more than she has to. CD: Yeah, I think that was in an effort to not be a totally stereotypical rom-com. And also in an effort to make it funny for both the girls and guys, and it's not just following that love story for the entire time. You're flushing out the world so they're not just these cartoon characters that you go for a joke or two but you get to live their world for a minute or two and see that, for lack of a better term, they're real people. CP: I've met an inordinate amount of girls who say they would sleep with Charlie Kelly. Not you, not Charlie Day. CD: I think it's a fine line. CP: You say it's a fine line. But I don't think you're sleeping in your long underwear with Danny DeVito every night. CD: I've noticed a change in the last couple of years. I don't know whether it's sympathy or there's just a sheer animal attraction to a man in long johns.
Posted by Molly Eichel @ 7:00 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
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About this blog
Featuring everything from event roundups to concert reviews and sex talk, City Paper's Critical Mass is a space for off-the-wall coverage of Philly's A&E scene.

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