Archive: January, 2011

POSTED: Friday, January 28, 2011, 6:00 PM
Filed Under: TV Shore Trash
mtv.com
Sound the trumpet if he's talkin' to a muppet!
Each Friday, Diana Palmieri breaks down the shenanigans happening on the newest season of Jersey Shore. Since the beginning of time, man has made momentous discoveries that have shaped the foundation of society. First, there came the knowledge that extreme heat and friction could result in fire, then the invention of the wheel was followed that whole electricity thing that started to catch on. However, today there is a device that may very well surpass all that has come before it. Now, there is the Grenade Whistle. If you were unsure about how to inform your friend that he wasn't chasing after a pretty girl at the club, but instead mingling with the likes of a "grenade," Pauly has introduced a way to warn your wingman. Do you covertly pull him aside and let him know that someone he thought looked like Scarlett Johansson actually resembled Courtney Love? Send him a quick text? Morse code? Carrier pigeon? No, you blow the Grenade Whistle, an obnoxiously large red horn that was won on the boardwalk. Then, as Pauly smoothly demonstrated, you must also shout "Grenade Whistle!" after said whistle is blown. You know, just to make sure you get the point across.
mtv.com
My horror (well, mostly delight) over the debut of the Grenade Whistle was short-lived. Other lighter moments, like Snooki and Vinny's purchase of a stripper pole for the house (which I'm really surprised took until season three to be bought), failed to take center stage in the last episode. To my chagrin, the majority of the excitement featured Ronnie and Sammi, arguably the poster couple for relationship dysfunction at its finest. When I saw another fight between them ensue, I debated flipping the channel. But I'm so glad I resisted the urge. Otherwise, I would have missed one of the most epic fights in Jersey Shore history. It all started — as most conflicts do — at the club. Drinks were flowing and fists were pumping as the night started out drama-free. Then, Ronnie made the mistake of talking to a girl he knew. A girl with a boyfriend. A girl that just had a baby. Sammi, outraged at Ronnie's audacity to engage in conversation with another woman, drunkenly let him know. I felt sorry for Ronnie as he argued his case, because this was a rare moment in which he actually wasn't indulging in his normal douche-like behavior. He explained to Sammi that the girl just had a baby, and that she could even show Sammi her c-section scar to prove it. Who could argue with that? More trash after the jump ... When the roommates returned to the house, the two got into it again in their bedroom, ranting and raving about everything pertaining to nothing. When Sammi left the room to get some drunk munchies, Ronnie used the opportunity to take all of Sammi's belongings out of her closet and toss them on the floor. When she returned, he told her that she should pack and leave. Unbeknownst to Ronnie, Sammi had left to bring Ronnie back a peace offering that wasn't to his liking, and only outraged him more. "Not even a protein shake," he argued. "She brings me pizza." Mike, who has been laying frustratingly low so far in the season, enters the room that he unfortunately was forced to share with Ronnie and Sammi. He surveys the situation and tells Sam, "He just kicked you out of your room," and walks away. Sammi, just having put the pieces fully together, is outraged again. The two yell, Ronnie breaks out into laughter, the two break-up (again), and Ronnie cries. He cries all the way downstairs.
mtv.com
All that follows next is a blur: Sammi calls her mother to pick her up from the shore house and then retreats to cry in her bed. When all had appeared to die down, an undeterred Mike asks Sammi for a condom. She says he should ask Ronnie. Mike, either stupidly or brilliantly, tells Sammi that Ronnie is busy talking to JWOWW. A fire is sparked in Sammi, as she looks over the balcony to see her former (eh, debatable) boyfriend swapping words with her nemesis. So she rationally reacted like any woman would: she punched him in the face. More surprising than Sammi's instant channeling of Sugar Ray Leonard was what occurred afterward. All of the roommates, besides Ronnie and JWOWW, were consoling Sammi, letting her know that they did not want her to leave the house. What the hell? Why wouldn't they want her to leave and let the door hit her ass on the way out? I couldn't figure out why these people — who had voiced their disgust for this boyfriend-dependant drama queen — would sway her into staying. In her defense, Snooki was most likely inebriated and thought some type of game was being played, but everyone else appeared fairly coherent. Vinny, having a brief Dr. Phil moment, assured Sammi, "You need sucky things in life to make you stronger." If that's true, everyone in the house would need to be pretty tough to withstand the Telenovela that is Sammi and Ronnie's relationship. Just as I could picture Sammi leaving Seaside for good, resulting in the heavens opening with a plethora of gumdrops falling from the sky, something horrible happened. Ronnie and Sammi made up. Of course. Isn't that how the story usually goes? Boy loves girl, girl loves boy, boy emotionally abuses girl, girl punches boy in the face, and the world fails to tilt off its axis. When Sammi sobered up and called her mother to let her know that she would be staying and, oh, also punched Ronnie, Sammi's mother consoled her daughter, telling her to move forward. After all, she argued, that was the lowest things could possibly get. Well, I'm pretty sure that's not true. I don't know if I should loathe Sammi and Ronnie or myself, since I know I'll be tuning in to watch the car crash again next week.
Stephen Bugianesi
Posted 2011-02-04 08:20:58
dicks! jersey shore is the best show ever, you just wrote its trash cuz your a grenade!
Josh Middleton
Posted 2011-02-04 10:12:28
We wouldn't review it if we didn't love it at least a little ...
DethMouse
Posted 2011-02-04 19:48:24
PFFT! You'se cabbage! You'se nothing more than MUFF CABBAGE!

MUFF CABBAGE!!!!!
Robert
Posted 2011-02-10 11:19:22
Love the Grenade Whistle!

Check out the Jersey Shore Grenade Whistle app for your iPhone!

http://www.grenadewhistleapp.com
Posted by Diana Palmieri @ 6:00 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Friday, January 28, 2011, 5:00 PM
Filed Under: Music | DJ Nights Blogged DJs
WHO: Derrick Carter, Deep C, Dave Mass, Mike Alba, John G, Adrock, Lee Jones, Jay Yo, Tommy Hogunz WHAT: The legendary Chicago DJ kicks it out in Philly this weekend. Reppin' his renowned label, Classic Recordings, Derrick Carter is sure to turn out a diverse and memorable experience on the dance floor. Presenters ROC and Philly2Night.com are on point to make your night proper with three floors of bumpin' beats that will keep ya bodies moving til 3:30 a.m. And if that isn't enough, you might be lucky and hear about the after party, which will keep ya groovin' well into the morning. WHEN & WHERE: Fri., Jan. 28, 9 p.m.-3:30 a.m., $15-$25, Voyeur, 1221 Saint James St., 215-735-5772, rocphilly.eventbrite.com WHY: Cuz ya body wants that four-on-the-floor, baby. Oh yeah!
Posted by Gair Marking @ 5:00 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Friday, January 28, 2011, 4:00 PM
Filed Under: Critical Mass
michael ta'bon
Ta'Bon wants to end Philly's "cycle of death and incarceration."
Michael Ta'Bon spent almost 10 years behind bars, and he wants Philly youth to escape the same fate. He's already founded the "Rest in Peace" Memorial Wall at 1924 Huntington Ave., a monument coated with countless names which pays tribute to the
Ta'bon
city's murder victims. Now he wants to show Philly youth the horrors of imprisonment, firsthand. Next month, he has planned a series of events to help Philly youth rise above a continuing "cycle of death and incarceration." At the heart of the series is a 28-Day Prison and Death Fast. Ta'Bon will build a jail cell at the "R.I.P. Wall"— and starting Feb. 1, he'll lock himself inside for four weeks straight, 24 hours a day. "We're gonna bring the jail cell to the people instead of the people going to jail," Ta'Bon says in an accompanying video. "The bottom line is jail is for suckers. I heard that statement when I was coming up as a young buck — didn't know what it meant. Now I know what it means."
john
Posted 2011-01-31 18:02:02
I liked it better the first time when David Blaine did this. He also had the good sense to do this in summer.
John Campbell
Posted 2011-02-10 17:48:33
Dont be a hater...The guy is doing something...
Posted by Matt Cantor @ 4:00 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Friday, January 28, 2011, 3:19 PM
Filed Under: Poetic License
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning. Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Our brains are programmed to remember danger. That's why one saber-tooth complaint can loom larger than one hundred compliments. Don't lie awake trying to forget teeth. Collect praise like Mancala marbles. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): Winter is speeding by and in your dreams, it's already spring. Remember the leaves? They remember you! Aries (March 21-April 18): My friend Fiona was INCENSED when some lady told her she was too young to understand snail mail. To that person she should quote Virginia Woolf: "Life is a luminous halo, a semi-transparent envelope surrounding us from the very beginning." Taurus (April 19-May 18): "The dream of the '90s is alive in Portland" goes the theme song of my new favorite show, Portlandia. No matter where you are, try it: Sleep until 11, experiment with flannel, start your own adult hide-and-seek league. Fun, right? Gemini (May 19-June 21): "True love is boundless like the ocean and, swelling within one, spreads itself out and, crossing all boundaries and frontiers, envelops the whole world" —Mahatma Gandhi Cancer (June 22-July 23): Count your tropes like treasures: your lists of flowers, the number of times you mention rain, your beautiful and ever-befuddling mate. Chime them like a clock, sing them like a mantra. Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): This is your mixtape week. Make yourself a soundtrack for everything. Label all of your unnamed songs, archive your musical gifts. Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): Some episodes of This American Life are like the boiling frog scenario, but with sadness. Sometimes you should turn it off before the misery gets too hot and listen to Judge John Hodgman instead. Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): A favorite Libra poet of mine is always trying to give away his stage time — don't do that. Take your turn and have your say — you're worthy and your voice is beautiful. Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): Spring is coming like a hoped-for apology, a letter scented with lilacs and stamped with fresh earth. Can you hear the blossoming, underneath the crickle of ice? Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Your heart is as big as California. This time of year, I miss your perfect daffodils, your supermarkets of bright, inexpensive bouquets, your stretches of highway that smell like strawberries, your eucalyptus nights. Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): You are as romantic as late-night language lessons, as pretty as fingernails, as hopeful as church. Keep it up, you're perfect.
Posted by Jane Cassady @ 3:19 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Thursday, January 27, 2011, 9:59 PM
Filed Under: Critical Mass
Photo | Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images North America
David Berkeley at the Open A.I.R. Concert Series
WXPN welcomes David Berkeley tonight to the Tin Angel (20 S. 2nd St.) for the release of his new album, Some Kind of Cure. Composed while living in Corsica, the album is accompanied by a book written by Berkeley called 140 Goats and a Guitar, which tells the stories of the songs that make up Some Kind of Cure. Compared by many to Damien Rice, David Gray, and Josh Ritter, he is called "the best of the young American songwriters" by the Boston Pheonix. Some Kind of Cure features more electric instrumentation than previous albums (every folk singer needs a Dylan's Bringing It All Back Home! moment, huh?).
$12 | 8:30pm | 21+ (I.D. Required) | Also performing Robbie Gill
Berkeley maid service
Posted 2011-01-31 13:07:48
Wow! Congratulations Berkeley for the new CD release party! I wanna grab one!
Posted by Ryan Carey @ 9:59 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Thursday, January 27, 2011, 6:00 PM
Filed Under: Critical Mass
TSP
Come and get it!

If you had to name the one cornerstone of our city's character, it'd have to be our revolutionary spirit. But a close-runner up could easily be sandwiches — actually, we better call them hoagies. Put these two ingredients together and you've got enough fuel to start a flash mob, or a at least a distant cousin of a social uprising. That's the conceit behind The Shakedown Project's upcoming satire, "Revolution and a Sandwich." A part of Philly's Micro-fest, the work-in-process performance will show Sat., Jan. 29 at 11:30 a.m. and Sun., Jan. 30 at 10 a.m at West Philly's Community Education Center (3500 Lancaster Ave.) The experimental theater company, founded by Drexel grads Robert Wuss, Chris Sannino, and Kevin Buttery, got some notice back in April for its multimedia spectacle, Jonathan. In this second show, TSP will stay true to its out-of-the-box theatrics, calling upon film projections, webcams and other virtual interfaces to "transport" the audience from one Philly spot to the next. Shaking up traditional theatrical conventions, however, does not constitute a revolution. So look to the story's protagonist, Claire – a college-aged product of our apathetic Internet culture. When we meet her, she's jaded and disillusioned with all the standard revolutionary causes. Hoping for some inspiration, she loiters around City Hall, giving out free sandwiches to potential activists. Not surprisingly, her hoagie-based gimmick only attracts college students and homeless people. In this case though, that's enough. And from there, the revolution takes off: the City passes some Byzantine legislation prohibiting free sandwich "giving" and the rest is history.

As is clear, TSP draws a hefty bit of inspiration from recent social and political happenings (think flash mobs and the Promoter Bill). Artistic Director Bob Wuss emphasizes that the script, written by Jeremy Gable, centers on Philadelphia, the city's revolutionary origins up to the Nutter administration. The multimedia component in particular, says Wuss, takes advantage of the cityscape, including a film montage of Old City and local haunts. That's not to make this satire sound too serious, although you may leave with a sinking feeling that a law against ham sandwich handouts is not inconceivable. The show's final Philly touch comes from musician Sonni Shine, who has composed the music and will jump into character and break into song during the performance. If you can't make the showing this weekend, keep a lookout for its official opening this spring at The Underground Arts Theater in the Wolf Building.
Posted by Will Stone @ 6:00 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Thursday, January 27, 2011, 4:00 PM
Three years ago, the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts and the Philadelphia Museum of Art teamed up with thousands of donors to buy Thomas Eakins' masterpiece The Gross Clinic (right), thus ensuring the painting would stay in our fair city. As the work returns to PAFA,
wikimedia commons
an entire exhibit is springing up around it. Opening Saturday, Anatomy/Academy celebrates the city's history at the intersection of arts and sciences. Philly has more than its share of medical, artistic, and academic institutions (it's been called the city of "meds and eds"), and it's been the site of landmark work to improve our understanding of the human body. Displaying works by the likes of Charles Willson Peale, John Sloan, and Marcel Duchamp, as well as medical artifacts, writings, and photographs, the exhibit tells the story of learning and the body in Philadelphia, focusing on the 19th and early 20th centuries. You'll see, for example, the scalpel of Dr. Samuel Gross near the Eakins painting that bears his name; William Rush's 19th-century anatomical models; and Caspar Wistar's dissection kit. In its time, many considered The Gross Clinic's graphic depiction of surgery, well, gross. Today, according to PAFA, it's considered "the preeminent 19th century American realist painting." The exhibit runs until Apr. 17 and will be accompanied by a number of programs reflecting on arts and sciences in Philadelphia past and present. Jan. 29-Apr. 17, $12-$15, Samuel M. V. Hamilton Building, 128 N. Broad Street.
Posted by Matt Cantor @ 4:00 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Thursday, January 27, 2011, 3:00 PM
Filed Under: Ice Cubes
photo by Scott Weiner
Maxwell interviewing Hyper Crush using auto tune at WIOQ's Xfinity Performance Space in Bala Cynwyd on Jan. 21
I know I got some Stephen Starr exclusive stuff in Icepack Print but this'll break your pate-stuffed hearts: When expat-Philly foodies in Miami call to cry about a rumor you know it's serious. Jonathon Makar got priced out of the Rittenhouse area (that's the word) and his Snackbar is closing Feb 5. Stories heard round the campfire have him looking for new digs. Here's hoping. C'mon think outside the box: For their seventh annual Grammy Awards-eve bash in L.A. on Feb 12, Philly's The Roots have chosen their boss, Jimmy Fallon as the host of their jam rather than their more inventive usual (Don Cheadle and Dave Chappelle did so in the past). Here's hoping The Roots win something out there. MTV, looking to get out of their mess with Skins and its runaway advertisers, just signed the cast of Jersey Shore to a fourth season in Italy. How do you GTL in the homeland? While The Situation is gone, the crew of Britain's All Tomorrow's Parties fest finally bring one closer to our area — Asbury Park's Sept 30-Oct 2. event hosted by Portishead and starring Jeff Mangum of Neutral Milk Hotel. When Adam from Ladyfingers tells me to listen up, I do it. "These guys are good and trashy rock n roll," says he in regard to Rob K and Uncle Butcher aka the JAM MESSENGERS. The pair recorded their first glam-punk album before they met each other (internet, yo), their new CD Dictionary of Cool is just that, and the pair'll play the Troc's Balcony Feb. 2 with Ladyfingers doing solo stompbox/guitar that night as well as local guitar god/instrument procurer Chris DiPinto unveiling his all Thin Lizzy cover band. No shit. Hey tawwlking about the ultimate meeting of glam and rock 'n' roll, 93.3 WMMR's Jacky Bam Bam's "Faces of Evil" costume which he strutted around in during the 2011 Mummers Parade, is on display at the Mummers Museum. As Bam Bam took second place in the handsome-costume category with his Golden Sunrise NYA fancy club, the gear get up is in the winner's circle.
photo by Scott Weiner
The Hooters' David Uosikkinen continues his web-based singles project, IN THE POCKET: ESSENTIAL SONGS OF PHILADELPHIA with the second song, "Open My Eyes", featuring David Uosikkinen (The Hooters) on drums, Eric Bazilian (The Hooters) on guitar/vocals , Rick DiFonzo (Roger Waters, Patty Smythe, The A's) on guitar, singer-songwriter Jeffrey Gaines on vocals, Rob Hyman (The Hooters) on keyboards/vocals, William Wittman (Cyndi Lauper) on bass/vocals and Richard Bush The A's on vocals pictured at World Cafe Live in Philadelphia, Pa. on Jan. 25, 2011.
WHOWHATWHERE: The 54-hour Startup Weekend Philly may welcome wack networkers and project funders to the University of the Arts' this weekend. But it's another Startup's week for sure — DJ Bobby Startup. Two weeks ago, Startup got word that one of his 1972 photos of Pink Floyd would grace the cover of Larry Magid's Electric Factory coffee book this May. On Jan. 31, he'll host and spin National Mechanics' Clubfucks night dedicated to Revival, East Side Club and Asylum with Yeah Clementines (ex-Bunnydrums) and Void Vision. Startup reminds punks old and young to bring punk home movies and he'll put them on the big screen. But the best thing came the other day when he hooked up with old pals Tony Bidgood, Skip Denenberg,
George Manney
Startup and Bidgood, reunited
David Ickes and George Manney who filmed the event for his Philly Pop documentary. Bidgood was the manager and Startup the road manager of the (then-Philly-based) Stray Cats in the late '70s. Bidgood was responsible for bringing the Stray Cats to the UK where they won their first success."But Tony was responsible for designing leather costumes for glam rockers like Slade back in the day to being probably the first guy to design patchwork denim gear," says Startup. There's tons more. You can ask Startup yourself on Jan 31 or I'll put up more stuff as an Icecube on Monday with a clip from Philly Pop. A rogues gallery of Philly Pop hit World Café Live on Tuesday to celebrate the Hooters' David Uosikkinen local-tune web-based singles project, IN THE POCKET: ESSENTIAL SONGS OF PHILADELPHIA. And the revelers joined in on singing Nazz's classic "Open My Eyes" — Uosikkinen, Eric Bazilian, Greg Davis (Beru Review), The A's Rick DiFonzo and Richard Bush, Jeffrey Gaines and Rob Hyman. Bethenny Frankel not only hit the Merriam with her kid Bryn and Hoppy family brood (of Hazelton, PA) last Friday. She, her hubby and the ensemble had lunch at Farmicia. When L.A.'s fab dance-pop sensations Hyper Crush hit WIOQ's Xfinity Performance Space in Bala Cynwyd they got on-air host Maxwell to interview them with the trio's AutoTune. Yup. Fathead — yes, Philly's funky jazz boy lot — reunite for a once-only event at North Star Jan 28 with the harder, hairier Alien Architect opening. Here's a tough one: Iron Chef Jose Garces faces off against Michael Solomonov of Zahav fame on Sunday Jan. 30's Food Network edition of the Iron Chef. Solomonov is hosting a viewing party with brisket and brewski at Percy Street BBQ. Does this mean he's victorious Or just really bold? Let's eat. The promo for the Philadelphia International Festival of the Arts is busting out all over. Barry W and the crew form the Hot Club of Philadelphia played an interesting gig in a loft in Williamsburg section of Brooklyn, a PR bash to promote the Festival's French-themed shows at the Kimmel Center. "They had a woman on a bungee harness suspended from the 3 story ceiling doing a sort of aerial ballet as we played, pretty amazing." Apparently the Kimmel's folk dug the HCOF so much, they added them to the series (April 30 at the Kimmel) If you want some Django-jazz sooner, they are at the ole' Mermaid Inn Jan 28 with Marty Grosz and accordion whiz Dallas Vietty. Gotta end with an asshole: Local boy Chris Illuminati (actually from Lawrence Township NJ) will read and sign copies of A**holeology: The Cheat Sheet Jan. 27 at U-Penn's Bookstore, 3601 Walnut St. I'm sure I'll see plenty of other assholes there.
Posted by A.D. Amorosi @ 3:00 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Wednesday, January 26, 2011, 7:29 PM
Filed Under: Critical Mass
The Hooters'ÊDavid UosikkinenÊcontinues his web-based singles project, IN THE POCKET: ESSENTIAL SONGS OF PHILADELPHIA with the second song,Ê"Open My Eyes", featuringÊDavid Uosikkinen (The Hooters) on drums, Eric Bazilian (The Hooters) on guitar/vocals , Rick DiFonzo (Roger Waters, Patty Smythe, The AÕs) on guitar, singer-songwriter Jeffrey Gaines on vocals, Rob Hyman (The Hooters) on keyboards/vocals, William Wittman (Cyndi Lauper) on bass/vocals and Richard Bush The A's on vocals pictured at World Cafe Live in Philadelphia, Pa. on January 25, 2011 © Star Shooter / MediaPunchInc
Posted by Admin @ 7:29 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Wednesday, January 26, 2011, 7:00 PM
Martine Fougeron
Disco Bus Folly, Adrien and Zoe
Gallery 339 (339 South 21st St) has two exhibits closing this Sat., Jan. 29 that I think you should see: Martine Fougeron's "After Prom" (from the Tête-à-Tête Project) captures moment-to-moment life of her sons hanging out with their friends after prom. A dilemma I found is that these photographs — ritically acclaimed on NPR and The New Yorker for their portrayal of genuine moments — were taken by these guys' mom, which would seem to create a sort of social Heisenberg uncertainty (i.e. I know my partying would be less genuine if my mother was around taking photos). Still, that doesn't take away from the fact that these photos are filled with the life and movement, as well as doldrums and lethargy of the archetypal post-prom adolescent weekend.
Martine Fougeron
Adrien's Carpet
The other exhibit is Rita Bernstein's "Ghosts of Summer," a series of silver emulsions on Japanese gampi, a type of rice-paper. Adequately named, these depictions of children in summertime is thoroughly haunting, and amazingly textured (think ambient vinyl clicks on an old phonograph, except, you know, visual).
Rita Bernstein
Sliding Pond
Posted by Ryan Carey @ 7:00 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
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About this blog
Featuring everything from event roundups to concert reviews and sex talk, City Paper's Critical Mass is a space for off-the-wall coverage of Philly's A&E scene.

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