Archive: January, 2011

TURNED ONN: The Onion News Network premieres on IFC

POSTED: Monday, January 24, 2011, 4:00 PM

Filed Under: Critical Mass | TV Turned ONN

Last night the Onion News Network (ONN) premiered its half-hour series on IFC, and it was awesome. I half expected this to be an awkward, annoying, Whitest-Kids-U-Know kind of deal, but ONN brought the funnies with plenty of social criticism and their characteristic insensitivity. Admittedly, you've got to have at least a half-conscious sociopolitical awareness to enjoy this show. Here's some of the highlights:

theonion.com

- After a photogenic white high school student stabs her classmate to death with a screwdriver, the judge is so appalled by the violence of her crime that he has her tried as a 300-pound Black man. Tears and outrage on the suspect's part ensue, and periodic updates inform us that white supremacists have shot her — but being a Black man, police probably won't investigate. - Then, Brooke Alvarez (right), one of ONN's news anchors is kidnapped by terrorists and we're informed, tragically, that she looks terrible. No worries, though. ONN drops a hair and makeup team into Kandahar — hoping they'll be kidnapped as well — because this anchor's blood and tears are starting to "make her face look shiny." If only it was one of the pale, hairy staffers, Alvarez wishes. - The Kim Jong Il bit wasn't that funny, with the dictator promising to call off the nukes if he can play every part in the next Batman movie. - But I loved the scathing bit with the history teacher who corrects ONN on the age of the Alamo. ONN thanks her for taking time out of her busy social life, which research shows includes looking up recipes and sleeping alone while her husband has sex with a woman he met on Craigslist ...

Michael S.

Posted 2011-01-24 14:03:28

I'm so excited for this.  I've watched the ONN segments on their website for quite some time and so it's just natural that they finally launched their own ONN show.  IFC seems like a perfect fit, too.  Now that I've setup my DISH Network DVR to record all episodes I'm set.  Probably not going to watch it at home as I'll end up saving this for my downtime when I'm away from home to watch on my phone or laptop.  That's why I love being a DISH Network customer and employee - they have a true TV Everywhere solution that allows me to watch my live TV and recordings on the go, whenever I want.

Michael iSan Idiot

Posted 2011-01-24 21:54:19

You, sir, are an idiot.  And DISH suuucks!!!  Please go sell your crap door-to-door somewhere else.

Posted by Bianca Brown @ 4:00 PM Permalink | Post a comment

ICE CUBE: Push it to the Limitless

POSTED: Monday, January 24, 2011, 3:10 PM

Filed Under: Ice Cubes

Photos | Star Shooter/MediaPunchInc

Robert DeNiro and Bradly Cooper shoot a scene for Limitless in Philadelphia, Jan. 22.

After sickness, death, fire, script jigglings, more sickness, a title change and another scene addition (all detailed in previous Icepacks, Ice Cubes and sundry Icicles), Limitless stars Bradley Cooper and Robert DeNiro braved near-zero degree cold and froze their asses off while they turned 21st and Market in Philly into 57th and Lexington in New Yawk for what is being called the last film shoot of theirs in Philly. At least until they decide this flick is as bad as How Do You Know. Limitless is scheduled to open in March, so let's hope they figure this out. Look for more celeb junk in Icepack, and maybe another Limitless snap (along with other stalkerish sightings) in this week's Icepack Illustrated.

Posted by A.D. Amorosi @ 3:10 PM Permalink | Post a comment

CONCERT REVIEW: Stoplight Party at World Café Live 1/20

POSTED: Friday, January 21, 2011, 10:30 PM

Filed Under: Music Concert Review

In our agenda section this week we wrote about the Stoplight Party at World Café Live , a matchmaking/music show hosted by HYPE. One of our writers, Massimo Pulcini, was so intrigued he went to check it out for himself. Did he wind up with a date? Read on ...

Photo | Massimo Pulcini

Aaron Hehl

Being a sophomore in college, I can say I've been to my fair share of stoplight parties. They're a great way to meet people, get a few drinks in your system, and maybe get lucky with a fine young lady. For those of you who haven't been to such a gathering, the rules are simple: Wear green if you're single, yellow if it's no questions asked, and red if you're taken. Easy enough, right? Well take these rules, add a couple of Philadelphia's finest up-and-coming musicians, and throw it all into an intimate setting at World Café Live and you have what went down at HYPE!'s Thursday Night Stoplight Party. Though not many people followed through with the color scheme — there were too many chicks wearing red and WAY too many dudes clad in green — the music was impressive. Here are the acts that stood out to me:

Photo | Massimo Pulcini

Parachuting Apostles: Up-and-coming Philly rock band Parachuting Apostles (pictured right) rocked the house with a blend of light and sound. The saxophone wielding lead singer stated in the beginning of the set that he had slipped everyone's drink with LSD and by the middle of their performance I almost believed him. The light show and solos skewed my senses and brought me to a different state of consciousness. Their song titled "To Me" was almost Pink Floyd-esque with psychedelic sounds resonating in my ear drums all night long. Sarah Flynn: This beautiful and talented singer-songwriter left every single guy in the audience wanting more, as she graced the crowd with her softly-sung songs and guitar. Her rendition of Radiohead's classic "High and Dry" was a pleasant surprise. If only she was wearing green ...

Photo | Massimo Pulcini

BAM!: The four-piece jam band BAM! (pictured right) opened with a cover of the "Kill Bill" theme song and continued with guitar solos, and head-spinning tempo changes and breaks. Definitely the most energetic of all the acts, BAM! impressed with a mastery of their instruments, and kept it entertaining with humor and stage presence that made them seem larger that life. Almost like a funk/fusion hybrid with a little Rush thrown in, I would recommend seeing these guys if you get the chance. Aaron Hehl: South Jersey singer-songwriter Aaron Hehl brought his own charming brand of acoustic music . A regular at the venue's open mic nights, Hehl warmed the hearts of the audience with his sappy and super-catchy set. He had the crowd swaying and singing along and received enormous applause after each tune. I asked Aaron about his thoughts on the show afterward: "The whole concept of the show was a great idea," he said, "It was a great way for people to meet each other and introduce them to new local music." With regards to his fans and support, Aaron was keen on expressing his gratitude. "The crowd response was amazing; you could really tell everyone had a great time." His cover of a Simon and Garfunkel classic summed up his performance ... Very groovy. Overall, the Stoplight Party sadly didn't get me any girls or numbers (I did buy a green tee specifically for the event), but it was a great show with tons of talented local acts.

Posted 2011-01-22 17:10:08

This show was amazing, though it seems that you didn't stay for the entire event.  The final headliner of the evening, Brady and the Bear, was absolutely the high point of the show.  Combining incredibly inciteful lyric and a mountain groove that got the whole place dancin from the moment they took the stage, this band really stole the show.  Maybe next time you're going to review a show, you should make sure you take in all the acts.  Oh well, your loss.

Michael

Posted 2011-01-22 17:13:32

With all due respect, this smells like the "acts that stood out to you" are really the only acts you stayed to see. Both Boy Wonder and Brady and the Bear were on their game, and were the absolute highlights of the show. As much as I appreciate your foray into journalism, please, take your assignments more seriously in the future. City Paper suffers from hack-y writing as it is. Please, don't be another blight on the face of what could be a paper that truly has it's finger on the pulse of the culture and nightlife of Philadelphia. In the future, take your time, take in everything you can, and write an objective, thoughtful piece. That's all I have. 

Thank you.

Posted 2011-01-22 20:28:17

I'd have to agree with the previous two people.

To ignore Brady and the Bear is a mistake, to ignore Boy Wonder is an even bigger one considering he put the whole show together. 

It was a pretty sick show all around, I had an awesome time and met a cute girl in a green necklace...to each his own I guess

Jenny

Posted 2011-01-23 20:30:00

It was a great show. All the show's Boywonder put on seem to have a great flow and are very ecelctic. All the acts were really good for their individual styles. The color concept was new to me, but a fun idea. The headliner Brady and the Bear really got the crowd going the most. Everyone was singing and dancing and having a good old time. I got their free handout cd (wrapped in a sleeve made from recycled magazines) and having been singing the songs since. It was a good night for local music!

Posted 2011-01-23 21:50:01

I absolutely agree, how the f do you leave the best 2 bands of the night out of your review? Did your parents give you a curfew? Brady and the Bear were absolutely eclectic and Boy Wonder was a wonderful rockin surprise for me.

Posted by Massimo Pulcini @ 10:30 PM Permalink | Post a comment

SHORE TRASH: Introducing Deena, the "walking holiday"

POSTED: Friday, January 21, 2011, 9:30 PM

Filed Under: Critical Mass | TV Shore Trash

mtv.com

The newest roommate Deena with Pauly D

Each Friday, Diana Palmieri breaks down the shenanigans happening on the newest season of Jersey Shore. This week, like many other red-blooded Americans with an acquired taste for trashy television, I managed to fry twice as many brain cells than normal. Why?: MTV aired two new episodes of Jersey Shore. Monday's episode illustrated Snooki's highly publicized day at the beach. I watched as Snooki took several nose dives into the sand and drunkenly frolicked in the water. This was after, of course, binge drinking and smuggling beers at work. Pretty much a day in the life. The cliff hanger detailed Snooki's arrest, leaving viewers wondering what would become of the little meatball. Would she be released or forced to snook for love behind bars? Well, of course she got out later that day. The "Free Snooki" t-shirt that JWOWW was sporting was kind of a spoiler alert.

mtv.com

Snooki laid out

After Snooki returned to the house, finally sobered up, she was able to reflect on her poor judgment and decided that she didn't want to drink anymore. This made me very nervous. Without Snooki's weekly drunken demise, I wondered what would become of Jersey Shore. Would I be forced to solely tune in to watch Ronnie and Sammi break up (again) or The Situation making references to himself in the third person? Then, JWOWW, the unmistakable voice of reason, argued that Snooki didn't have to quit drinking entirely. After all, a glass of wine on a Thursday night is totally acceptable. Snooki seemed to agree. "Yeah, I think Pinot is okay. Pregnant people do it." Crisis averted. While Snooki was left to reflect on her poor judgment (except not really, since it made for fantastic TV), the new cast member continued to solidify her place in the house. Deena, who introduced herself to her new roommates as "a walking holiday," won me over as soon as her Snook-a-like self strolled into Seaside. She embodied the essence of Saint Patrick's Day when she arrived to the house drunk, performed an accidental striptease for The Situation, and verbally assaulted Sammi — all in the same episode.

mtv.com

The fake Dean

Later, Deena went out to the club with Mike, Vinny and Pauly, and found a guy that eerily resembled Ronnie. At first I thought the guys were exaggerating when they said they found a Ronnie replacement. Dean, or Ronnie 2.0, could easily be mistaken for the original. He had the look down, from his immense muscles most probably resulting from overdoses of steroids and protein shakes, all the way to his Ryan Seacrest inspired fauxhawk. He even had a girlfriend named Sam, just like the original Ronnie. Of course, Deena was the last to know the girlfriend bit, finding out after Ronnie 2.0 had spent the night. The episode ended on somewhat of a sour note when JWOWW broke up with her boyfriend over the phone. I'm a fan of JWOWW, primarily for her temperamental and violent tendencies, and didn't really enjoy the ending montage of sad music. Frankly, that's not what I tune in for. Now that JWOWW has found a new gorilla juicehead, and Snooki managed to end the episode with a guy with "La Famiglia" tramp stamped on his lower back, the two can stop crying ... unless they are drunk.

Richard Parker

Posted 2011-02-06 15:50:12

Nicole's explanation is really ridiculous. Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is not very familiar with biology.

Posted by Diana Palmieri @ 9:30 PM Permalink | Post a comment

LOL WITH IT: Q&A with comedian Hannibal Buress

POSTED: Friday, January 21, 2011, 9:00 PM

Filed Under: Comedy | Critical Mass | LOL With It Stand-up

On Sat., Jan. 22, SNL and 30 Rock writer Hannibal Buress comes to Connie's Ric Rac (1132 South Ninth St.). He was recently mentioned on Rolling Stone's "10 Funniest People, Videos and Things of the Coming Year" list, but is he worth all the hype? Ryan picked his funny brain this week about David Letterman, Tracy Morgan and playing Madden Online.

Photo | Frederick M. Brown

Critical Mass: You were on Letterman — is the notorious set-screening as ball-busting as it's rumored to be? Hannibal Buress: Eddie Brill, the booker, has you go through a bunch of different sets. He watches and gives notes. I still have a lot of input, but they wanna make sure they know how everything works. It was fun to do, any time you do standup on TV, it's fun. I was happy with the set, a lot of people saw it, it was fun to get the material out there. CM: What were your big breaks early on? HB: It was great to write for SNL. I got approached about working there after I performed on Jimmy Fallon. For that opportunity to pop up... it was great. And it was fun to work with a bunch of great people. (It was his stint at SNL that led him to the opportunity to write for 30 Rock ...) CM: Is Tracy Morgan's character really just a "character"? HB: There are definitely some aspects of Tracy Jordan that are similar to him in real life, but there's also a character there. A lot of it is fictional, but then lot of the story lines have a thread of truth to them throughout the show. CM: What kind of things do you like to do while you're not spewing the funny? HB: Madden online ... I get beat by people a lot, they wanna talk shit about it after they beat me. People take it super serious. I played this guy and he was winning and about to take a knee with 30 seconds left. Instead he scored a touchdown and then onside kicked, I turned it off, like "you're being an asshole!" I go back online and he sent a message, "Too Much Celebrating, Not Enough Scoring... I own your bitch-ass!" I just wrote back, "Congrats man... Apply the energy to real life."

Posted by Ryan Carey @ 9:00 PM Permalink | Post a comment

LOL WITH IT: Q&A with Connie's Ric Rac manager Frank Tartaglia

POSTED: Friday, January 21, 2011, 7:00 PM

Filed Under: Comedy LOL With It

Connie's Ric Rac has been an emerging hot spot for Philly comedy as of late. This week, Ryan got a few works with manager Frank Tartaglia to see what that's all about.

conniesricrac.com

Critical Mass: What was the very first comedy show you booked? Frank Tartaglia: The first comedy related event we had was the Improv explosion. A bunch of different improv groups doing crazy make-em-ups. CM: What are the most popular comedy shows that perform at your venue? (and, your favorites?) FT: Greg Gethard's "Bedtime Stories" comes to mind. Eack month he tackles a different theme with Philly's best and brightest improvisers, stand ups and sketch people. Last bedtime stories theme was "The worst Night of your life" and Chris Gethard [Gregg's brother who's making good up at the Upright Citizen's Brigade in New York] came to the theater and wrestled a dude. It was no joke. We also enjoy whenever Johnny Showcase and the Lefty Lucy Cabaret does a show at our spot. That show is hilarious and packed with live music. We also have had some tremendous stand-up shows . Kenny Zimlinghous sticks out in my head. CM: Is there a big enough interest in comedy in Philly to make it an equitable type of entertainment to book (how does it compare to music?) FT: It's definitely easier for us to do comedy shows. No gear to deal with, wires... No tricky sound requests. But comedy shows are much shorter than music shows so, we sell less refreshments because the audience is only there for 2 hours tops. It's a toss up. CM: What are your plans for the future? FT: Keep doing shows and creating a fun environment. I plan on adding more cool lights. I am really into lighting these days. The kids dig the psychedelic lights. Come back at 4 p.m. for Ryan's interview with comedian, 30 Rock and SNL writer Hannibal Buress.

Posted by Ryan Carey @ 7:00 PM Permalink | Post a comment

DJ NIGHTS BLOGGED: Y-Rock DJs @ Drinkers West tonight!

POSTED: Friday, January 21, 2011, 6:00 PM

WHO: James Porter, John Vettese, Fred Knittel, JP Slaski, Eric Schuman, Reid Benditt, Adam B., Joey Ippolito, Keith Kelleher WHAT: Last year, Y-Rock On XPN and Drinker's West did a monthlong DJ series that is now in the works to be a regular feature. A line-up of DJs will be there spinning their favorite dancey alt-rock tunes. WHEN & WHERE: Fri., Jan. 21, 7 p.m. free, Drinkers West, 3900 Chestnut St., 215-397-4693, drinkerswest215.com. WHY?: 'cause you need to boom-boom shake the room!

Wexler

Posted 2011-01-21 14:19:40

This has who cares written all over it.

Fizz

Posted 2011-01-21 15:32:58

This comment was an excellent use of your time. Don't even bother leaving the house tonight.

Posted by Ryan Carey @ 6:00 PM Permalink | Post a comment

DJ NIGHTS BLOGGED: Y-Rock DJs @ Drinkers West tonight!

POSTED: Friday, January 21, 2011, 6:00 PM

Last year, Y-Rock On XPN and Drinker's West did a month-long DJ series which is now in the works to be a regular feature. Spinning their favorite dancey alt-rock tonight will be James Porter, John Vettese, Fred Knittel, JP Slaski, Eric Schuman, Reid Benditt, Adam B., Joey Ippolito, Keith Kelleher.

Posted by Ryan Carey @ 6:00 PM Permalink | Post a comment

LOL WITH IT: Q&A with local comedy booker Corey Cohen

POSTED: Friday, January 21, 2011, 5:00 PM

Filed Under: Comedy LOL With It

On Sat., Jan. 22, Philly's hardest working independent comedy booker, Corey Cohen, brings SNL and 30 Rock writer Hannibal Buress to Connie's Ric Rac (1132 South Ninth St.). Today, he takes time out fof his busy schedule to chat with Ryan about his up-and-coming booking company.

coreycohen.blogspot.com

Critical Mass: How long have you been doing Corey Cohen Comedy Productions? Corey Cohen: I've been doing CCCP for nearly a year now, as far as being completely focused on booking standup comics is concerned. Prior to that I was in a sketch group called "The Sixth Borough," and during that time I also ran a monthly comedy variety show called Steal This Show. So I've been producing comedy shows for a few years now, but CCCP is really a proper attempt at bringing the best comedy I can, standup or otherwise, to Philadelphia. CM: Are all your shows at the Ric Rac? CC: As of right now, yes, though my hope is to expand into the future. But I have a strong loyalty to the Ric Rac. I've been working with them for years, since it was just a shell of what it is now, and I have a great deal of love and affection for those guys. Plus I think that Connie's is an awesome venue, perfectly built for comedy. Frank and Joe Tartaglia--the brothers who co-run the joint--are probably some of the funniest people I know. Watching them interact is a show in and of itself. I think their ongoing support, coupled with the Ric Rac being an awesome black box venue in South Philly, make's Connie's a pretty ideal place for these shows. CM: Does being a booker have any implications on being a comic? (i.e. more stage time?) CC: It's hard to say. Since I've ramped up the production side of things, I haven't been performing as much. My original thought was that doing these shows would parlay into being in some of them, but the truth is I'm really enjoying putting the shows together right now, and that's enough for me. Plus, I have other comedy writing projects I'm working on that I would also like to use CCCP to produce and promote. Being someone who does comedy, the biggest advantage is already being very familiar with the local comedy scene, and being able to support it and expand it. Philly is an increasingly young town that is long overdue for a comedy revival. People want to laugh, and I'm happy as long as I'm helping to make it happen. Corey is always interested to know which comedians people want to see in Philly, so visit him at Corey Cohen Comedy Productions. And stop back by Critical Mass at 2 p.m. for Ryan's interview with Connie's Ric Rac manager Frank Tartaglia about all the funny business that's been going on there lately.

Kid

Posted 2011-01-21 12:43:59

This guy is a great producer and one funny son of a bitch. In the past six months, he has made me cry every kind of tear. Happy ones. Sad ones. Miscellaneous. Every kind.

Sherman

Posted 2011-01-21 16:58:29

This guy...

Posted by Ryan Carey @ 5:00 PM Permalink | Post a comment

POETIC LICENSE: Horoscopes, Jan. 21-27

POSTED: Friday, January 21, 2011, 4:10 PM

Filed Under: Poetic License

Critical Mass welcomes devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady to the fold; her weekly horoscopes will run in this space every Friday morning. Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Do whatever turns you heart to Jell-O, makes you evaporate with praise, makes your face light up like Lite Brite pegs. You'll find them everywhere. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): According to Rumi, "This being human is a guest house," into which we should welcome all of our emotions. Make pancakes for your Grief, fluff up pillows for Fear, let Joy plug in and charge all of its devices. They'll be back on the road soon enough. Aries (March 21-April 18): It's hard sometimes to leave 2010 in 2010, but I sometimes make good on that resolution. Let old monsters go mute. Discover the cure for Mentionitis. (And e-mail it to me, please.) Taurus (April 19-May 18): "You are the one/solid spaces lean on, envious."—Sylvia Plath Gemini (May 19-June 21): "When your world feels like the bottom of an/ ocean, remember that bioluminescence isn't just for the fish. / Open up your chest and shine. / Someone will catch you." —McKendy Fils-Aimé Cancer (June 22-July 23): From The Decemberists' "January Hymn": "What were the words I meant to say before you left? /When I could see your breath lead /Where you were going to /Maybe I should just let it be? /And maybe it will all come back to me " Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): Your face is a picture of moving lights, a star map, a Map of the Stars' houses. Your hands are fashioning gold out of snow, but your shoulders are getting tired. Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): Turn off your screens and feel less jittery. (After you read this, of course!) Hear the hum of the heaters and the noise of the sheets. You are a religion of baths and blankets, a hibernation of books. Exhale. Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): Much like my friend Emily, your heart takes little Polaroids of everything and pastes them into a book. It writes out each date in neat block letters and carefully collects quotations. Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): Oh, dear. It's time to take down the Christmas tree. This year, decorate for winter. 3-D snowflakes are easy to make, and so are the flat ones, if you fold and cut carefully. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Not to get super-meta here, but horoscopes are a made-up system, and you are a free elf. Read whichever one sounds like the most fun. Identity is kind of a hologram anyway. Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): Watch Catfish. Think about art, identity, surveillance, smushed pennies taped to postcards, and Google Earth.

Posted by Jane Cassady @ 4:10 PM Permalink | Post a comment

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Q&A with SHARI SOLANIS: "The goal isn't pornography"
What we're trying to do this weekend
SEXY TIME Q&A: I've never had an orgasm during sex with a man — and I'm 30!
Q&A with Tony Goldwyn: "Life is gray, and relationships are, too"
CONCERT REVIEW: Primus (3D & quadraphonic sound) @ The Tower 10/17
ICE CUBE: In Memoriam: Joe Tartaglia
NOW SEE THIS: Transit cop arrests marijuana activist for alleged disorderly conduct.
Coming soon to Philly: Two cockamamie movie promotion schemes
ICEPACK ILLUSTRATED: The Archbishop meets the Geator, the Mayor goes suit shopping, Le Bec Fin fin.
NOW SEE THIS: Tim and Eric direct Terry Crews for Old Spice

About this blog

Featuring everything from event roundups to concert reviews and sex talk, City Paper's Critical Mass is a space for off-the-wall coverage of Philly's A&E scene.

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