Critical Mass 1.0
So people are shitting themselves about Snowmageddon 47.0 but I'm all cool, calm and collected. Why? Because I've got American Gladiators to keep me warm, that's why. Hulu has the entire first run of the show, meaning this discovery is the greatest thing to happen to me this week (considering American Idol just went into Top 24 mode, that's saying a lot).
We like American Idol. Too much.
Tommy Button: Last night was ladies' night in Hollywood so you know what that means ... standard text messaging rates do apply. Rawr. The girls were seriously bringin' in da noise and bringin' in da funk despite the ridiculous set. I forgot how bad the stage is for this portion of the show. There's the weird screensaver background and lights that make the whole thing look like a Bar Mitzvah dance floor. It's nice to see that me and Simon are in agreement about it being a girls year but handsy people tend to think alike.
Molly Eichel: I'm going to have to disagree with you Tommy. For all the talk to a girls' year, this was a particularly weak show. Not to say that everyone was as terribly as Lacey Brown vocals-wise but the song choices were disastrous. C'mon, Alicia Keyes? That never works well. Have these girls never watched the show before?
Paige Miles "All Right Now" by Free
ME: I had hope for Paige, especially because they seemed to be handicapping black female vocalist (see: ANGELA MARTIN) and we hadn't seen much of her. I think she was nervous, but nerves tend equal mediocrity at best and shitshow at worst. This was just aw'ite. She could handle the big notes but she lost it in the chorus.
Ashley Rodriguez "Happy" by Leona Lewis
ME: I loved Ashley when I first saw her. Totally cute, nice voice. But she keeps sliding downhill for me. Pick it up Ashley, because you look great in heels.
Janell Wheeler "What About Love" by Heart
TB: And the trophy for 'Worst Place' goes to Janell Wheeler. Molly got it right with the whole white girl thing. This girl is about as exciting as a glass of milk. Her song was way too big for Babysitters Club over there. What's most frustrating about the whole Janell Wheeler thing isn't just that she should really be Angela Martin, but is that the judges all seem to really like her. I do not see what the fuss is about. She is by no means any American's Idol. But hey, "former contestant on American Idol" will look great on your Match.com profile.
ME: Janell Wheeler right now up on top of My List of Reprehensible People List alongside High School Musical's Ashley Tisdale and Hilary Swank. They're not bad people at heart, but all of their creative output makes me want to commit random acts of violence. Viva Angela Martin, down with White Girl Extraordinaire.
Lilly Scott "Fixing a Hole" by the Beatles
TB: Lilly Scott was a close second when it comes to faves. She had an interesting song choice which means she's probably an interesting person, but she could have fooled me. She has a sweet voice but I can't decide whether I like her or not. I need a little more. Right now she seems like she's just trying to fit in with what she thinks people want. Lilly Scott is one of those contestants that will swear up and down she is only being herself on that stage but unless I get something else, I probably won't believe her.
ME: Totally digging White Storm as well (or Baby GaGa, depending on your nickname preference). But here's my problem with Lilly: She picked a song few people actually know. Yeah, she did a nice job but come outta nowhere, talking about how you lived in a car Jewel-style, I need a crazy balls out performance with a recognizable song. People aren't going to vote for her if they can't remember what songs she's singing. But then again, she has the power to change the weather, so she's got that going for her.
Katelyn Epperly "Oh Darlin'" by the Beatles
ME: She looked straight up prostitute last night, like a street walker with an Oxy habit.
Haeley Vaugh "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" by the Beatles
TB: Just realized I've been spelling Haeley Vaughn's name wrong this whole time. I'm pretty sure that means I'm not qualified to be saying anything right now. But I am positive that outfit was terrifying. It seemed like something out of a Roman Polanksi's closet. I thought she probably did as good as she ever has before but for the first time I was a little creeped out watching. Maybe it was the outfit, the body glitter or the mouth the size of a Sarlacc but I wasn't really feeling it. I hope next week that country strut comes back.
ME: We all know I'm on Team Haeley 2012, and at first I dug this performance. But the more I've let is marinate, all I can think about is those ridic high notes she tried to hit, which ended up just sounding like she was the best actress in some community theater musical. I like that she switched up the song, but I need the twang turned way, way up for this to work. Don't fail me now Black Carrie Underwood. And, oh god, her mouth is huge. But the nose ring story? A-fuckin-dorable.
Lacey Brown "Landslide" by Stevie Nicks
ME: I never really get along with crazy colored hair girl, but I had love for Allison Iraheta last season, 'cause that girl had pipes and said hilariously inappropriate things on live television. But she used up all my love. And now Lacey Brown is on my shit list. She couldn't handle this song. All I gotta say is leave it to Stevie. The Wispy Witch of the West put a lock on this song and the chubby one from the Dixie Chicks turned the key. So. Just leave it. Also: WHY IS ANGELA MARTIN NOT IN THE TOP 24. WHY? WHHHHYYYYYYY?
Michelle Delamor "Fallin'" by Alicia Keyes
ME: Forehead slap. Super hot. Still. Forehead slap.
Didi Benami "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson
ME: One of my faves of the evening. She's got a really interesting voice and I thought she sang this song exquitely. I don't know why the judges were hating on her so bad but this girl is Top 5 material to me. But just like Lilly Scott, I'm worried about her ability to switch genres. And, she's gonna need to get the audience on her side during her next performance.
Siobhan Magnus "Wicked Games" by Chris Isaak
TB: A wincer for me. Do not like. She seems a little like a cyborg, or whatever Robin Williams was in Bicentennial Man. Her song choice was pretty poor and I was surprised when Simon didn't call it indulgent, because he was pretty in love with that word last night, and Siobhan the Glass Apprentice was fuckin self indulgent. I get why they like her, she kicked as at Stevie but maybe she just got lucky.
ME: Look, I don't know this girl personally, but when she sings, her face looks straight up evil. It's not Bitch Face. That's what Kara has. It's Diabolical Face, like she could be the female Lex Luthor or something. But then she asked what a dark horse and I knew the truth. Instead of Lex Luthor, she's one of those girls that hangs around with Lex Luthor and wears fur coats and holds a small yapping dog and when Superman foils Lex's plan she plays all innocent like she wasn't also trying to take over the world. That being said, I'm glad she didn't do a big song, despite what Randy said, becuase she proved she's just not screamer.
Crystal Bowersox "Hand in My Pocket" by Alanis Morrisette
TB: My favorite of the night was Powersox. If anyone had the odds stacked up against them it was this girl. Just looking at her in the line up you can tell she's a bit the odd man out. Never the less, she hammered it out the park. And I love a good harmonica jam. Typically when it leads in to "Thunder Road" but I'll take this too.
ME: Dude, would you just shit your pants if she sang some Boss? I'm buying some Depends in preparation for how pants shittingly awesome that would be.
TB: Alanis Morissette was kind of a lame choice. If you must sing an Alain Morissette song, it better be the one about fucking Dave Coulier. I don't think she'll make it to the end but you can bet she'll give a few of those Duffyish girls like Lilly Scott a run for their money.
ME: I agree that this was a safe song and not the best choice (my Idol viewing party agreed that "You Learn" would have even been better), but when it comes down to it, Powersox is who I want to listen to the most. But I agree with the judges, she needs to change up those arrangements if she wants to take on GangDad Andrew Garcia, who judging from last night's performance has this in the bag.
Katie Stevens "Feeling Good" by Michael Buble
TB: I was a big Katie Stevens believer in the beginning and as far as her being a Top 5er, I still stand my ground. But maybe I just got excited because she seems like the person who wins this show. Last night, however, she showed some weakness. Poor girl wanted to get up there and kill but instead she left everyone a little confused.
ME: I think the producers were counting on her to bring it home too, the gave her a prime spot. But then she choked. She looked like a little girl wearing her mom's high heels. But I still have faith in Even Stevens. She couldn't hear herself last night and that got the better of her. I'm not worried about her, though. She's got at least Top 7 written ll over her.
TB: Dapper. That is the word I would use to describe Ellen last night. Perfectly dapper. I wonder where she gets her suits. She also is proving to be the positive influence in the group. She made a point to remind everyone that being in the Top 24 means they're great. Although, we would disagree on Janell Wheeler. To be honest, it was a little startling to hear someone sober say it. For their first live run as a quartet everyone was on. Once we get a few weeks in and everyone starts getting pissy with each other, then we'll be in business.
ME: Tommy, did we watch the same show? I thought it was a mess. Kara wasn't paying attention half the time, Ellen couldn't make a concrete criticism for her life (and she revealed that she doesn't really have the vocab to talk about music) and Ryan was teenage-girl-pissy like someone took him off his Midol drip. Let's hope tonight's boys round is a little more on point.
|Screenshot of Izzo from Ronnie's Facebook profile.
There's only so much a guy can do to salvage his dignity after getting the shit kicked out of him on national television. South Jersey's Stephen Izzo Jr., the recipient of a Ronnie beat down on MTV's Jersey Shore (the juicehead took him down in one hit), went to court to stop the season one DVDs from hitting shelves. Izzo's lawyer Eugene M. LaVergne says that Ronnie and the rest of the MTV crew are financially profiting from illegal activity, i.e. Izzo's ass whupping. Don't remember Izzo? He's the dude who started it up with Ronnie for seemingly no reason at all, while girlfriend watched.
Rather than demand the DVDs remove his notorious episode, he wants the whole thing vanquished. Good for you, kid. You got punched once and America thinks you're a loser. Deal with it. The most obvious battle plan should have been to get in on the contract for royalties. He could be making big bucks off the upcoming DVDs just for taking a beating. I would go out of my way for that kind of luck. And if he doesn't really care about money and just wants to repair his reputation, then this kind of scheming is way more respectable in that subversive, stick-it-to-the-man kind of way than what he is actually doing.
The DVDs were slated for release tomorrow, February 23.
Kids: It was bound to happen sometime, I'm just glad it's out of the way.
That's right, this week's episode of See What Color Blocking Mila Will Do Next, the designers were assigned children. The seven-to-10-year-old angels were there not for sacrificial purposes, but to be the models for this challenge. Excluding Amy, who was amped on the challenge because she apparently loves mini clothes, no one was too thrilled about this challenge. And really, can you blame them? Who wants to design for a munchkin body? Who wants to design something that the little brat will inevitably stain with ketchup and OJ? Jonathan is downright afraid of kids.
This week the group was split. They were either vying to be provocative and daring in their designs, like Jonathan, Jesse and Amy. Or they were playing it safe in order to remain in the competition, like Emilio. Mila's being safe, too, since she is capable of making only one style. And yet she remains in the competition. She probably put some voodoo curse on the judges to make them blind to her work each and every single week.
A pint-sized challenge wouldn't be complete without a little Tim Gunn coming in to put a little twist on it. TG informed the crew that they would now be making the perfect accessory to their kiddie clothes: a mommy outfit to match. How precious. The point, of course, was to create something that would coexist with the youngster's outfits without being just a bigger version of it because, really, that's gross. Jay had the right idea, saying that his outfits would be a part of the same show. His plum and black tunic on the tyke, and a tank for mommy that matched just a teeny bit too much got him into the top three.
Also in the top three this week was Jesse with a grey, black and red Parisian-inspired design that looked perfect on both models. For the little one, Jesse made an expertly-sewn red wool jacket that looked sophisticated and adorable. His momma model wore a dress that echoed the first design with red detail and buttons, but it wasn't too matchy-matchy.
Seth Aaron, that weird annoying dude, was this week's winner. He mentioned having an 11-year-old daughter and knowing what kids like and what they, like, totally hate, bro. Good thing Seth Aaron won this one or his daughter would have totally shamed him when he got home. The winning look for the girl was a black and white hounds tooth hooded vest with a little black jean skirt. He put "hard wear" (silver ring eyelets) on the skirt because this guy is so punk rock it hurts. His adult look was great; a black and white striped jacket was leaning ever so slightly towards Beetlejuice, but not too much. Kors called the jacket the best tailoring seen all season. Seth Aaron paired the jacket with a pair of high waisted black skinnies that flaunted studs down one leg. It was a look, as the judges mentioned, that little girls would love to wear. And the grown up version was chic and edgy.
The bottom three this week were sad, sad little duo designs. Jonathan used so many ruffles that Kors called his models "the conceptual toilet paper twins." The adult dress was certainly too tame for Bjork to put on, but it might be something she'd eye up. The girl's dress was yellow with matching toilet paper and a sweet little bolero jacket that the judges could tell was not at all comfortable for the child. Even though Jonathan's designs were butt ugly, they were by far the most attractive of the bottom three. Amy, who was also trying to take some risks, made a strange little girl's get up with a turquoise sweater and scarf, an orange petal skirt and tan leggings that flaired at the knee. The girl looked outstanding compared to the woman's pants that Amy made by cutting out petals of the same colors. It was like some feathery ostrich legs in peacock colors.
Jeneane was the this week's loser. She cried about it, of course. And she cried throughout the episode when she talked about missing her hubby, and this is so hard, and blah, blah, blah. The girl's dress that she made had absolutely no shape and no design to it. Jeneane put the girl in leggings, too, just to be completely innovative and different from everyone else who put their girls in leggings. "You're really rocking the Halloween," Gunn told her in the sewing room. No one told me that Halloween changed from black and orange to black and coral. But if Timmy says it, then it must be true. The adult jacket she made looked like "a Home Ec project," according to Kors. With very little design and no good taste, Jeneane's time was finally up. She just barely hung in there last week, so it's not a shock that she was told to pack her bags and move on.
|Photo | Kristen Humbert|
|Just another night of bingo with the ladies!|
Last month, we sent our intrepid reporter Kristen Humbert to review Urban Saloon's Naughty Bingo. If her write-up excites you, be sure to sign up for the next event, on Fri., Feb. 26 at 7 p.m., soon these things always sell out.
Urban Saloon was the place to be seen and slapped on Jan. 15, as it played host to the third monthly Naughty Bingo bash. If visions of Grandmas in knickers squirming for a bingo bone are dancing in your head, fear not this game is for those who can get both dirty and down.
Players were each given eight bingo cards, one for each round. And instead of the trusty row-of-five, a number in each corner of the board had you win for the "celibate" round; and a "V" shape scored in the "quivering love purse" round (rounds also involved "right nut," "left nut," and the ever-important "dick and balls"). But if you didn't call out "I'm Coming, Bitch!" when you were one away from Bingo, you were slapped on the rump with a paddle.
The later it became, the slap-happier the crowd got, as practically any offense aroused this gleeful punishment (we're talking ass up in the air in front of the whole room here). In addition to bingo, there was also a deep-throat contest with bananas and a fake orgasm challenge. Prizes included an in-home blowjob class for 25, fancy panties, an inflatable sheep (yea, we know), and clitoral stimulation cream, all of which was donated by Feminique Boutique and Lolly 38.
Though the group entered the event as strangers, the camaraderie grew with each round of both bingo and booze. Ladies who were too shy to shout out in the beginning were giving their best moans by the end. Sometimes all it takes are drink specials and anal sex references to bring people together.
We like American Idol. Too much.
Tommy Button: As cruel of bitch as you think Idol may be, she never leaves you with blue balls. We finally got our Top 24, gents. The whole show was kind of a love fest. Because so much time was wasted last night, things had to be expedited. Mostly, we only got the parts of people laughing, hugging and crying tears of joy, which I think is something we can all agree is disgusting. However there was one loser that came as shock Angela Martin. I can't believe she didn't make it! She was a terrific singer with a great story and lets face it, she ain't getting any younger.
Molly Eichel: For fuck's sake Idol, they let Janell Wheeler through and not Angela Martin?! Do they need anymore white girls with weak voices? No. But the weirdest thing about Prison Angela's dismissal was Kara DioCreepio. She asked if she could sit next to Angela but then stole her entire chair, relegating the poor loser to the armrest. And I thought Kara's biggest mistake in the last couple of episodes was that puffy-sleeved dress.
TB: Never fear though, she promised Seacrest she would be positive. You don't break a promise to Seacrest. I'm glad Crystal Bowersox (referred to from here on out as 'Powersox') made it. I was nervous Powersox might get cut because she still seems a little green. I mean, she thought 3 million people watch this show? This isn't the WNBA playoffs, sweetheart.
ME: Powersox, good one. I think Simon's right, that this isn't her platform. She has dreads, and not in a Jason Castro way, and actual talent, once again unlike Jason Castro. But nobody thought this was Chris Daughtry's platform either and look how far that cueballed motherfucker has gone. As the last couple seasons have shown us anything, it's that the people who can play with their arrangements go the farthest and that's where Powersox has an edge. It's also why GangDad Andrew Garcia will go, at least, Top 5.
TB: Katie Stevens was of course a Top 24 contender. And if I didn't say it before I'm saying it now: Top 5. No doubt. And if I'm wrong, then may this blog may forever be deleted. She also had a little moment with Haeley Vaughn after getting the good news which will no doubt play into a great friendship and a great departure. This may just be that clever television editing but I got nervous while Haeley Vaughn was in the Hot Seat. Simon mentioned that she can be annoying which is a valid point. Her smile is a little TOO big. But I have a nagging suspicion she's gunna be better than Simon gives her credit for.
ME: Already bored of Katie Stevens. She'll go far but she needs to do a lot more to impress me. Otherwise, snoozefest. On the Haeley front, I think she just needs a little coaching. Maybe some vocal training to keep that twang in check. As she was in the Hot Seat last night, I kept yelling "Haeley Vaughn, I will vote for you every week!" And when she finally said her name, I was actually out of breath. My neighbors may or may not have called the cops. So, yeah, I'm invested.
TB: Damn you, AI. Just when I thought you were a thoughtful and attentive lover you make me chose between Andrew Garcia and Thaddeus Johnson! NOOOOOOOOOOO! Andrew Garcia is definitely the better singer and I'm with him all the way. I've officially just made him my Season 9 Danny Gokey. But, dammit, if my heart didn't break when I saw Thaddeus get the boot. Poor kid is only 16 years old. But then, just when I thought my cold heart had melted, I saw Andrew Garcia on the phone with his dad and I found something inside I didn't know was there before.
ME: I got a little teary-eyed when they let Thaddeus go, especially because they said he didn't do anything wrong. Seriously, they let uber white boy Lee Dewyze go through and sass factory/momma's boy Thaddeus Johnson? I expect to see him back next year. Also for those keeping score at home, Mike Lynche didn't get the boot from the Top 24, probably because he was so likable. So I've been sticking pins in an American Idol voodoo doll for naught. But they did replace curly haired Chris Golightly with Tim Urban because Golightly's previous recording contracts. He's cute but no Thaddeus so I immediately hate him.
TB: I can not wait for next week.
TB: Once again, a non-judging episode for the judges. They just had to deliver news. So as far as that goes, here's the breakdown:
Ellen = Jon Stewart
Randy = Brian Williams
Simon = Tom Brokaw
Kara = Chris Matthews
Molly, give us our Top 24 list please.
ME: Goddamnit, Tommy, do I have to do everything around here:
- Andrew Garcia
- Tyler Grady
- Alex Lambert
- Janell Wheeler
- Crystal Bowersox
- Joe Munoz
- John Park
- Jermaine Sellers
- Lacey Brown
- Michelle Delamor
- Siobhan Magnus
- Paige Miles
- Ashley Rodriguez
- Lilly Scott
- Katie Stevens
- Haeley Vaughn
- Tim Urban
- Didi Benami
- Lee Dewyze
- Katelyn Epperly
- Aaron Kelly
- Casey James
- Todrick Hall
- Michael "Big Mike" Lynche
We like American Idol. Too much.
Tommy Button: Let me make it easy for you.
Guys: Big Mike (not really, though), Casey James, Aaron Kelly, Lee Dewyze, Todrick Hall
Girls: Didi Benami, Katelyn Epperly
Molly Eichel: My verdict? Casey James, Todrick Hall and Didi Benami (although, girly needs to keep the tears in check) are the only ones who make it past semis, only because of the tragedy that is Big Mike and his dismissal from the show (once again, a giant fuck you to the Idol producers). Also: Todrick Hall, how did I not know you are hilarious? Loved it when you asked those white girls if they would marry you. "Would your parents be okay with it? Do they know that I'm black?"
TB: "But wait," you say, "that's only 7 people. I thought they put 24 through." You're right, my friend. They do. But American Idol wants us to sweat the next 24 hours out while we wait for the rest of the list. These mind games are too much for someone with such a weak brain to begin with. But it does leave me with not much to say. I can't complain about who didn't get in (because they still might), and so far there haven't been any real shockers of who didn't get in (but there still might be, as teased last night). Although Jessica Furney was pretty taken aback.
ME: I like how she blames her group for giving her the boot, but considering she was the only one who actually got praise, I'm pretty sure she only got kicked off 'cause she sucked ass. Sweetheart, impassioned pleas only work when you're pretty, because your heaving bosom distracts from why you were terrible in the first place. Tommy and I know from firsthand experience. His knockers are huge.
TB: The only souls we can mourn are those poor bastards in Room 2. One of which is Mary Powers, who I was not broken up out seeing leave. But seeing Llyod Thomas, that big weepy teddy bear, get sent home is the type of thing that gets me all teary-eyed, ya know, if I cried in the first place. I can't say I didn't see it coming. Off the stage he had a personality that was big and bold, yet he never really found his footing while performing. I was sad to see Hope Johnson, as well. But another one who never really hit her stride in time. Like most of the finer things in life she has to mature some before reaching her zenith.
ME: Farewell Crazy Eyes Powers. Bring the Turbo Bitch act back to the Bennigan's I've decided you work out. But Hope wasn't ready. Go back to the trailer park, sweetie, and maybe next year she can be one of those flashback success stories, like Angela Martin is this year. By the way, I still love Angela. And because Prison Matt got kicked off and Angie missed last year's Hollywood week because she was in the clink, I will heretofore refer to her as Prison Angela. On the topic of people I have major boners for, I would vote for Haley Vaughn for president. Especially if GangDad Andrew Garcia was her running mate and Crystal Bowersox was her secretary of state.
TB: All in all, a waste of time. Besides Ellen's bits here and there like when she kept leading Katelyn Epperly on, there weren't too many highlights for me.
ME: There were a couple bright spots. I like the way that Ellen and Kara's relationship is developing, even though I still hate Kara as much as Randy loves wearing those black skinny jeans with the gold rhinestoned-lined pockets (considering how ludicrous he looked in them, I'm going to say a lot). When Casey James walked in, Ellen said, "Oh look, he has his hair down for you." To which Kara replied, "Oh, nice!" Keep the laughs coming ladies.
TB: Still, Idol should have just waited until tonight to give us the Top 24, not this seven bullshit. Quit teasing me, guys, seriously.
Remember when we told you about J.J. Tiziou and the Mural Arts Program's proposed massive airport mural? The 50,000 square foot mural featuring dancers of all stripes will adorn the facade of the airport's parking lots facing I-95. Above is a rendering of what the mural should look like. But now J.J. and MAP need you.
They're currently seeking dancers pros and amateurs, solos and pairs to be photographed for the mural. Just fill out an application before this Friday, February 19 at 5 p.m. After that, 60 participants will be selected, but the site says only about 25 of the 130 dancers images taken will be used. The shoots take place from March 5-7, but there's flexibility time-wise in the application.
Here's a video of Tiziou's preliminary work on the mural:
Fore more info, check out howphillymoves.com.
|Photo | John Vettese
|Dr. Dog playing a secret show as Meth Beach at Johnny Brenda's
Dr. Dog drummer Eric Slick's mom (aw!) sent us a Daily Pennsylvanian piece about Doc Dog hooking up with CP Artist of the Year Kurt Vile for a show at the Rotunda, put together by Social Planning and Events Committee's Jazz and Grooves. It's all happening March 2 at the Rotunda. The event isn't up on their calendar yet but we'll give you the details when we have them.
|Clockwise from top left: Amy, Anna, Anthony, Ben, Emilio, Janeane,
Seth Aaron, Milla, Maya, Jonathan, Jesse, Jay
There was tons of hype this week when Sir Gunn announced that this challenge was going to be one of the biggest in ProjRun history. So big, in fact, that this week's winner would not be granted immunity for the next challenge. Tim took his little designer darlings over to the Hearst Building to meet Marie Claire's editor-in-chief, Joanna Coles.
Gunn and Coles broke down the challenge and its whopping winning payoff: Create a design to be worn by a super famous celebrity. On the cover of April's Marie Claire. Yes, this is major. Coles stressed that there really ought to be plenty of color and detail in the designs. It needs to be able to catch the eye of a magazine peruser and make them want to buy, buy, buy! That part could be handled later, it was time to get to the real juice: Who was going to be the celeb?
It was Heidi. Womp, womp.
I know she's a big shot, but this feels a little cheap. Past guests have included LL Cool J, RuPaul and queen fashionista and trendsetter Carrie Bradshaw. I mean Sarah Jessica Parker. Did you happen to record the episode? If so, watch in slow motion as the crew is told who their hot celebrity will be. There's a wave of disappointment covered up by fake enthusiasm. Yes, yes, it's exciting, but it is, after all, only Heidi.
This week we finally saw something from Ben that brought him out of the boring middle ground and into the top three. He made a vibrant blue wrap dress and used panels of bright yellow chocolaty brown to make the eye focus on the core of the model and meet at the waist, where he added a wide black belt. Finally, something from this meager little designer who has barely made an impression on the judges in the past.
This idea of "not meeting the judges" business was a concern that Anna expressed, as well. Tim told her, "that could be a blessing." Sadly for this little daisy, though, she met the judges this week when they were dissecting her drab three piece design. Anna put together a shapeless, washed-out blue blouse, a shiny vest that did nothing for the model's figure and a pair of dark, satin shorts, that the judges called well constructed. That's funny, because I thought that as the model came down the catwalk she looked a bit penis-y in the pants.
Going along with a complete lack of color, Jeneane (who narrowly beat out Anna), Maya, Seth Aaron and Mila all decide to disregard Joanna Coles' advice to use color. They opted instead for more mute and washed out palettes. Jeneane tried to go for a beach theme with her pearl dress, accented with a touch of slate blue at the straps. Coles, that cold-hearted business woman, said it reminded her of a polluted beach with plastic bottles. "It's not fashion forward," Heidi said, "and it's too sweet." True. Mila thought peach would be a strong color to use. Yeah, that will work, Mila, good job [cue eyeroll]. "That peach comes off as Ace Bandage," said Mr. Michael Kors. So true. Jay Nicolas made a dress that was also in a neutral cream it was so gorgeous and attention-grabbing that it didn't need to be anything but cream-colored. It was so light and airy, with one shoulder covered in ruffles. This one should have been top three.
None of that matters as much as who won this weeks Ã¼ber-fantastic, massive, bragging rights for months challenge: Anthony. Yes, my favorite little southerner in the sewing room was given the great honor of dressing Heidi (after she pops out the baby, of course) and having it slapped on the cover of Marie Claire. He made a futuristic one shoulder mini in a blue that was soft but still bold. It looked like frosting with the layers of straps bunched at the top, and then smoothing out into the rest of the dress as they went down the model's body. Kors was thrilled, raving, "the costume drama is over! You've entered modern times!" The judges always love it when they can look at a designer's Project Runway portfolio and see how they took the advice at each elimination and worked it into their garments. I really hope that Anthony keeps moving up, and cutting these bitches back. But no one is surprised to hear that.
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- Now See This
- Poetic License
- Printed Matter
- What We Heart
- Idol Hands
- Mad Men
- True Blood
- Useless Lost Recaps
- Couch Potato
- Shore Trash
- Turned ONN
- Video Games
- Free Online Game
- PlayStation 2
- The 1-Upper
- Web Junk
- CAGE MATCH
- Free Online Toy
- Weekend Omnibus