All the generic conventions of undead humor come undone when the Dawson Street Dramatic Society (DSDS) rouses its signature horror (or horrifying) shenanigans and sketch comedy, finished off with a dose of bluegrass twang. Oh, and brains.
Headed up by playwright Greg Day and South Philly flamenco singer Antonia Cruz Arias, the DSDS will be holding its mixed-bag Winter Freaky One Act Showcase on March 5th at the Meetinghouse Theatre.
Since 2008, the company, born or unborn of the Zombies Aint Shit Co., has brought off-beat undead theater that pushes the limits of the grave, as well as your tolerance for flesh-eating free-for-alls.
At the Winter Showcase, the DSDS will present two original, one-act pieces: the first, a deep South story of corpse re-awakening back in the days of voodoo and jazz, and the second, a contemporary tale about a temp whose desk job answering the phones is so monotonous it could be done by zombies you know where that's heading.
If you have any inkling for some absurd escapist theater (that's assuming you don't believe the zombie apocalypse is nigh), then you should come by for the DSDS's one-time performance of these brain filled shows (previous DSDS works include Dead Air and Trickster). And, after the gore, the New York-based sketch comedy crew, Jamie and the Machine will pun their way through a decade's worth of nostalgia. That's right, it's 2011 and about time to do some serious reflecting on all the ways years 2000 to 201o screwed up anyone coming of age in the era of AIM. Luckily, they'll get at these questions with vaudvillian routines and musical numbers.
The evening will take the form of a variety/cabaret show and finish off with strong drinks and tunes from West Philly's acoustic bluegrass band, Sour Mash.
For what was once a crude art form has now gained the status of a science by way of Illuminati's two-part series, A**holeology and most recently, A**holeology The Cheat Sheet" because who wants to read the full text book, anyways. A contributor to Ask Men, Penthouse and Maxim (to name a few), Illuminati has sought to rework the negative connotations surrounding this term. When correctly applied, assholeology is a nuanced stratagem for getting what you want and not taking no for an answer that's one of the Illuminati's "demandments." The Cheat Sheet puts such principles into practice, be it ditching those dead-weight relationships or hard-to-get-out-of chores. Although the heavily asterisked titled can be found in the humor section, the book might as easily be considered self help reading.
In preparation for his signing at the UPenn Bookstore on Fri., March 3, Illuminati took some time to chat with us. So this morning, with my emotional armor ready for a battery of asshole abuse what else would you expect? I called up the man, only to find that, like many scientific principles, assholeology only holds true under certain conditions. As it turns out, Illumanti is a pretty nice guy.
CIty Paper: Why'd you write a second book about a**holeology?
Chris Illuminati: In the first book, we said it was the science behind getting your way and getting away with it.' But the one thing people kept coming back to me with, as far as comments, was, okay we get why a person would want to be an asshole but you didn't give enough specifics the when and how.' So the second time around, I decided to make it very specific and break down how to be an asshole in certain situations. The first book is the why, and the second book is the how.
CP: You call it a cheat sheet
CI: Yeah, well not many of us did well in science, so here's a cheat sheet to work with; for example, you say, I have a bad situation at work, and you go to the cheat sheet to figure it out.'
CP: So is the premise that it's good to be an asshole?
CI: In certain situations, you just have to take that asshole approach. And I think everybody can use it; it's not necessarily saying you should be an asshole in every situation you encounter. But there can be tough spots in life, and you don't know how to handle them. At those times, you just gotta' pull up your boot straps and take charge, whether it's in relationships, at work, or with family. One of the first scenarios is how to cut off a friend you know that person who has been in your life for 20 years. You're friends, but you're not really sure why anymore. It will give you the asshole approach to getting rid of that person.
CP: Would you say that **holeology is a way of life more than just a state of mind?
CI: It can be both. Some people approach any situation as an asshole, while other people can compartmentalize it you can still be a nice guy or a nice girl and do asshole things. It's just a way of looking out for yourself.
CP: Are all the scenarios in the book self-tested?
CI: Some are self-tested, and some are tested by other people. When I wrote this book, I was in a different state of mind: I had just had a baby, so I was dealing with a two-month old; I was working a full time job, plus writing jobs on the side, and I would write all hours of the night. Sometimes, certain things came out that I would have never considered. I would pretty much just sit down at my desk and say, okay, what's the most asshole scenario I can think of right now.' And for that reason, in the front of the book, there's a note from the publisher that says, you should not try some of these thing.'
CP: Was the disclaimer put there at your request?
CI: No, that was the publisher, after they received my final manuscript. They were trying to cover themselves. The first time around, I did get a lot of feedback from people because the book is found in the humor section, but people would tell me that they could really see it in the self help section as well. So I think the publisher thought they should probably make it clear that you shouldn't take everything literally.
CP: When your friends or family read this book, did they say this really sounds like Chris? Or did you have to learn to be an asshole?
CI: I really did have to learn. And I think the reason that I was so good at it was because I've come across so many assholes in my life. A lot of times people will say you don't seem like the kind of person that would do this.' But like I said, you don't have to practice **holeology in every situation. At times, I would go with, maybe, a nicer approach. For example, at a recent book signing, an older coupler probably in their 70s saw the title of the book, the poster and me standing there. And before the signing, they told me that if you took a lineup of five guys and asked which one of these guys wrote the book, they'd probably pick me last, because I don't really look that way which is actually a good thing: you don't want to come off looking too much like an asshole, or, in fact, you'd probably look like a douchebag
CP: What's the difference between the asshole and the douche?
CI: Basically, if you don't know the difference between the two, the good rule of thumb is to think about the person. If you can't think of two or three redeeming qualities, then he's probably a douchebag.
CP: You write for a lot of men's magazines. Is this book primarily for men?
CI: It is hard to write for women when you're a guy. I'm sure it's the same for women writers. But I do believe that women can use this book to their advantage; a woman can learn from this and be considered an asshole. There are plenty asshole women who men are attracted to. It's just that you call them a different name. Asshole is pretty gendered.
CP: Who are some iconic assholes?
CI: If we're going to go way back in history, one example we used in the first book was the Pharaohs in Ancient Egypt, because they got the entire civilization to build monuments in their likeness. Also, you had General Patton, who was a classic asshole. As for current examples, in the sports world, there's Bill Belichick. In entertainment, Donald Trump used to be a good example, but he's kind of chartering douchebag territory. Dennis Leary is also a good example of a classic asshole with his comedy, but then he also does a lot of things for charity.
CP: How would you respond to the person who says you're encouraging our society to be rude?
CI: I would say that I'm not really encouraging people to be rude. I'm encouraging them to take control of the things they don't like. If it's a situation when a person has to be rude, then so be it. But if I told someone to start being nice tomorrow, it's not going to change very many things. But, if I told someone to be an asshole, they'd probably see some result. The person who says that I'm being rude' probably has some things in their life they wish they could change. I'm really saying be more aggressive, not rude.
CP: How do you go about being an asshole at home with your family?
CI: Well, you're friends with people because of certain situations. Your family is your family, and you can't choose that. There may be some people in your family you would never have any association otherwise. You have to remember that. There are some people who are going to drag you down, even in your own family. So if you can take the emotional part out of it, and just realize, okay, this person is no good to me everybody has that douche cousin.
CP: What do you think about Philly's rep as an asshole city?
CI: I'm a New York sports fan just to put that out on the table. But I do like the Philadelphia approach to sports this is our team, good or bad, and if you don't like it fuck off. Even if their team isn't good, Philly fans will find a way to one up you. I like that the whole city is passionate in that way: they take hold of something, and I gotta' admire them for that Another thing I like about Philly is that Philly has bought the most books for the last three or four months.
Somewhere around the time of Resident Evil (1996), video games were taking a turn for the cinematic. People weren't simply looking for exlopding alien brains anymore, they wanted the artistic and narrative aesthetics of RPG's with the kinetic intensity of first-person shooters.
The unfolding era of cinematic video games was a natural result of technological advances and a steady gaming market. Eventually, advertising these blockbusters started taking on Hollywood feel as well. Trailers began to emerge which mimicked the flavor of epic the motion picture industry's coming attractions. The first one that I particularly noticed was the relatively recent Gears of War. The contrast between the music (Gary Jules' "Mad World," which you know better from the Donnie Darko soundtrack) and the action (monsters and dystopian bullet-spraying) created a particularly engaging affect for the neurons.
Dead Island (developed by Techland and to be distributed by Deep Silver) has been lagging in a wake of its own hype since the trailer debuted at the E3 expo in 2007 to an almost problematic amount of hysteria 3 million YouTube views, no depiction of game play, no scheduled release date, and mixed critical reactions saying everything from "the trailer is too extreme" to "it's the single greatest trailer ever made."
It's going to be a zombie survival horror, offering both open-world "sandbox" and "on-track" gameplay. First-person melee with RPG elements, Dead Island will offer up to four-player, co-operative play. Set on an island resort in Papua, New Guinea, you will have one of four characters to chose from: Xian Mei (a staff member at the hotel), Logan (a surfer), Sam B (a former rapper) and Purna (?).
Part of the game play buzz which, again, is barely a footnote under the trailer buzz is that you won't have an unrealistically ample cache of heavy weaponry. You will have to customize "homemade" weapons, and these weapons will degrade over time. And you will be kept on your toes, required to make boyscout-esque use of your environment.
Originally slated for 2008 and then delayed (which may have been for the best so Deep Silver didn't deliver the most monumental disappointment in gaming history), Techland has had plenty of time to beef up Dead Island to be the best it could possibly be.
In the meantime, check out the trailer and lemme know what you think. Also, what are your favorite video game trailers thus far? Discuss ...
|The Low Anthem|
The band began with "Ghost Woman Blues," the opening track off their new album. For this song and others scattered throughout the 17-song show, frontman Ben Knox Miller and company grouped around a single condenser microphone standing at center stage. Accompanied by Miller's guitar and Jocie Adams's clarinet, the four-piece sang in close harmony with remarkably precise pitch for a live show. Next, they spread across the stage, taking up a variety of instruments. Over the course of the performance, every member of the band played multiple instruments; Mat Davidson, for example, covered bass, harmonium, fiddle, clarinet, banjo, and a wood saw played with a violin bow. Like his bandmates, he played them all with such clarity and natural flair that I couldn't have guessed which was "his" instrument.
Despite the variety of instrumentation, however, the show was hampered by a lack of variety in the songs themselves. Almost every one was slow, including songs that were recorded at faster tempos. Lacking real familiarity with each tune, I was at times hard-pressed to tell the difference between them; the concert occasionally dragged and I craved something more upbeat.
Overall pacing aside, though, there were excellent individual songs. Highlights of the concert included "This God Damn House," a song written by Dan Lefkowitz, a former member of the band who opened for them on Friday and later joined them for a song. The song tells the story of a man alone in bed after his lover has left; though she asks him to spend another day there, he grapples with a feeling of suffocation. In this and other songs, the band excelled at producing an atmosphere, both lyrically (the vocals were clear enough to understand, as they always should be but rarely are at shows) and sonically. The harmonium provided a foundation for many of the songs, while the bending of the saw added a ghostly whistling on top.
In one song, Miller asked the audience for help. It wasn't the usual clapping along or singing: he told everyone to call the person next to them and then hold their phones together, both on speaker phone, creating a cricket-like chirping sound. Instead of sounding futuristic, the noise blended with the acoustic instruments onstage, and the audience was drawn into the performance.
Neighborhood Watch usually looks for Philly's most fashionable, but this week Kala focuses on the stars who strutted down the red carpet at last night's Oscar ceremony.
In the wake of what many are calling the worst Oscars broadcast ever (they say that every year), what else can we do but feast our eyes on the styles of cinema's elite?
Anne Hathaway wore eight different dresses while she was on stage (and each was sincerely remarkable), so we'll only comment on her red carpet Valentino, the biggest miss. The bust seems ill-fitting, and the huge bustles are reminiscent of tumors. This red seems like a bit much for hershe wore a deeper, richer red dress on stage that suited her far better.
Amy Adams' look is almost perfect. The L'Wren Scott dress is a gorgeous color and looks fabulous on her body, but that necklace is all kinds of wrong. She should have worn her hair up as well.
Both Black Swan ladies pulled out the purple this year, and Mila's light-lavender Elie Saab is to die for. Perfect for her coloring, and the romantic draping and delicate lace suits her.
Absolutely perfect. This Marchesa is so age-appropriate, chic and lovely on Hailee. The gold shoes seem like an odd choice, but everything else comes together fabulously.
Bright red, skintight, and boob-tastic? This screams Baywatch. She looks absolutely fantastic, but the Oscars call for something more formal than this Calvin Klein.
Obviously this showy Versace worships Jennifer's new svelte figure, and the color is perfect for her. However, it's doing horrible things to her boobs.
This Givenchy couture gown landed on some worst-dressed lists, but it's perfectly keeping with Cate's typical red-carpet risk-taking. It's delightfully unusual, visually interesting, and she's rocking the hell out of it. Not many women could pull this off. She can, and that's why it works.
Man, did Melissa ever crave that Oscar, which was adorable, but this Marc Bouwer dress is mostly a miss. The lace over-shiny gold foil is bold, but it does look a little like a doily, and the sleeves and color are stiff and ridiculous.
Bow down, ladies. Helen consistently dresses better than girls 40 years her junior. The Color, style and fit are all fantastic on this Vivienne Westwood.
Leave it to Helena to bring the crazy. This actually doesn't look bad on her. Everyone expected her to show up wearing a reconstructed piñata or something equally insane. She just looks like a Goth barmaid. Seems like a step in the right direction.
This 50s couture Charles James moved beautifully on Marisa, but it's a bizarre dress. That tulle seems like it's a different color than the rest of the dress, but not enough so that it seems deliberate. The bottom seems like it's stapled on as an afterthought.
Gwyneth's skirt is very cool with its fluid-like shimmer, but I'm not loving the dropped waist and the neckline is absurd on this Calvin Klein. She should have done something more interesting with her hair.
It's hilarious how much taller Nicole is than her husband. She got some flak for this Dior, but it's original and the beading is lovely. The problem is the color, which washes her out.
Color is great on Sandra, and it's a nice silhouette, but she could have stepped it up with something more interesting than this Vera Wang.
Halle always looks fabulous (oh, how women loathe her), but the color on this Marchesa isn't great, and the messy tulle at the bottom looks like she got into a fight with Portman's Black Swan character.
Like Helen, Annette looks fabulous in a silver-grey. Attention-grabbing without being in-your-face, visually interesting, and the perfect fit on this Ermenegildo Zegna.
This Armani fits Reese beautifully, but it's really boring and a little out of style. Whatever was going on with her Barbie clip-on ponytail was not okay, though.
Okay, I just threw him in so we can all laugh at his scraggly moonshiner beard.
(All photos from nymag.com's Vulture blog.)
Man Cave is a testosterone-laden Monday feature that highlights the weekend haps of an everyday, pop culture-loving Philly dude.
Saturday night I went to N'East for a stand-up competition at the Comedy Cabaret. Congrats to Mike Casey, Tom Cassidy, Mary Radzinsky and Nick Baker. They'll be competing along with Frank Genzano, Bob Marsdale, Erin Mulville and James Royale for a cash prize this Friday at the Cabaret (11580 Roosevelt Blvd, 9 p.m.).
After that, I shot down to Center City for the late show at Chris' Jazz Café where tenor saxophonist Korey Riker and his band played his new CD, Prehumous. Riker who's played with The Roots, John Legend, Erykah Badu cranked his lively album over two robust sets. Supported by an upright bassist, keys/pianist, drummer and brief guest trombonist, the 31-year-old saxophonist wailed his modal, Coltrane-summoning heart out with original licks and deliciously sloppy solos from everyone in the band till last call at 2 a.m.
Sunday night was all about the Oscars. I found five moments more memorable than the rest ...
5) Marissa Leo gets Tourette's. Even though her speech was plenty awkward well before it had to get delayed for an "F"-bomb surprise.
4) True Grit Spoiler Alert! The Oscars may not realize their gaffe showing Josh Brolin get shot in the chest on national television but to be fair, the original film won the Duke an Acadamy Award in 1969, so there's no true western fan who hasn't been given a fair chance to enjoy the plot.
3) You know you're up there in age when Michael Douglas is your son. Kirk Douglas shows Dick Clark who's boss in the "too old for TV" department. YIKES!
2) James Franco dons a dress (and wig). Turns out "Holywood Pretty-Boy" is just an expression. *shudder*
1) The King's Speech wins Best Picture. Kudos to the Academy for awarding the top prize to what they thought was simply the best film, rather than giving in to pressure from the defining epic of contemporary America (The Social Network). They already made that mistake in '94 with Forrest Gump whose Best Picture contenders (Pulp Fiction, Shawshank Redemption and Four Weddings and a Funeral) have all arguably aged better. Personally, I enjoyed The Social Network more, but this ain't the peeps' choice awards; it's the academic elite, keeping it real.
This year's Oscars went back to the old formula of humor and entertainment. The underrated Anne Hathaway hosted with glamour and charm. Smug and annoying James Franco (who I prefer stuck in the cave) hung out in his suit. She could have hosted it herself, actually. Maybe next year.
It started with a dramatic countdown of nominee clips, and then the time-old favorite of inserting the hosts into the reels. Hathaway danced the "Brown Duck" at Natalie Portman's Nina, feathers falling everywhere, while Franco stood there in a bodysuit. Hathaway and Franco rode into Alec Baldwin's psyche a la Inception, after Baldwin was about to give the secret to hosting the Oscars, only to be knocked out by his Ambien Capri Sun. Morgan Freeman's voice came on during the elevator ride, and I just knew he'd be standing there. It turns out to be Franco's dream, though, and both take the Back To The Future car to the Oscars.
What the hell was Franco doing with a cell phone when they walked out? God, what a prick. Their opener was funny, Franco complimenting Hathaway, who said, "You look very appealing to a younger demographic as well." Hathaway gave a shoutout to her mom, whom we saw stand up. I thought it was an awkward distraction until I realized she was mic'd. "Stand up straight honey," she said, "Mr. Steven Spielberg is here." So cute. Franco's grandmother stood up and made a joke about Marky Mark. (I don't have to say that Franco sucks, do I? Ok, then.)
Next came a retrospective on Gone With the Wind and Titanic (sniffle) for winning Oscar trifectas. Alice In Wonderland took Best Art Direction, and Inception took Best Cinematography. Neither a big surprise. So far everyone seems to be respecting the time limit.
Legendary actor Kirk Douglas presented Best Supporting Actress, but the dude was having a senior moment and had trouble speaking. For a while he went off on tangents and cracked jokes on actors in the front rows, and I was getting pret-ty nervous. Finally he said "Melissa Leo," and there was a sigh of relief. Leo was humble and flustered, and oops! dropped an F-bomb. Fucking finally it is primetime. Anne Hathaway made the weirdest noise after introducing Justin Timberlake, kind of like a bark. I guess it was nerves.
JT confessed that he is Banksy. I'm so happy he got that off his chest. Toy Story 3 won Best Animated Feature like everyone thought it would, followed by more old movie tributes. Javier Bardem and Josh Brolin came out dressed like Mark Twain for some reason, to present the Screenplay awards. Their shiny all-white tuxes were very dapper. Aaron Sorkin won Best Adapted Screenplay for The Social Network. Winter's Bone was much more deserving. That film flowed like hot butter. And I'm so tired of that merely cool movie being treated like a work of genius. Sorkin wouldn't shut up and got cut off by music.
David Seidler won Best Original Screenplay for The King's Speech, which cleaned house tonight with four wins. Seidler, who's up in years with hair as white as Bardem's and Brolin's suits, began, "My father always said to me, I would be a late bloomer."
Hathaway opened the next bit in a Liza-esque suit, and broke into song about Hugh Jackman not duetting with her. She would fit in on any Broadway musical, and she could've done something more ambitious. Franco came out dressed like Marilyn, and made a Sheen joke ...
Russell Brand and Helen Mirren presented Best Foreign Language film. (Dogtooth y'all! FTW! Pleeease?!?!) Brand and Mirren did their bit, and my pick was beat out by In A Better World. I'm pretty sure the voice-over announcer stuttered on "academy." Oops.
Reese Witherspoon presented Best Supporting Actor, which went to Christian Bale for The Fighter. Meh. I think it was weight-loss/career length points. Bale's performance was convincing, but not outstanding. My picks were Jeremy Renner for The Town or John Hawkes for Winter's Bone. At least Bale managed to wrap things up without the music.
Aussies Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman presented Best Original Score, with the orchestra playing classics from E.T. and Star Wars. To my frustration, it went to mother-effing The Social Network. It should have gone to Inception for its score's intricacy and suspense. Inception did manage to pick up Sound Mixing and Editing.
Cate Blanchett (one of my favorites; chameleon extraordinaire) presented Best Makeup and Best Costume Design. She said, "That's gross" at The Wolfman, which won Best Makeup; and Alice in Wonderland's Colleen Atwood picked up Costume Design, her third win. Atwood then bored us with a stuffy speech and got the GTFO music.
Coolest speech of the night was from Luke Matheny, who won Best Short Film for God of Love. "Oh wow, I shoulda gotten a haircut," he said under a mess of curls. He went on, "Finally my mother, who did craft services for the film," which got a round of applause, and called his girlfriend his "dream come true." Really rad, dude. I'm gonna see his movie just for that.
Gawd, Anne Hathaway's dresses are gorgeous. The blue one; you can't deny the blue one. What if Exit Through the Gift Shop won? Who would accept Banksy's award? We'll never know; Inside Job got it. Bob Hope retrospective y'all; he's still kinda funny. Inception got a well-deserved Visual Effects win. I loved how subtle its use of computer graphics was.
A.R. Rahman's and Florence Welch's performance of "If I Rise" from 127 Hours featured her haunting voice and dramatic lighting. Hey, it's Celine Dion! (For the In Memoriam part.) OMG, that old lady from Titanic just died! Leslie Nielsen is dead? So are legends Dino de Laurentiis and Lena Horne. Halle Berry, who's still stunning, did a tribute to Horne, whom she admired during her emotional acceptance speech in 2002. And The King's Speech got Best Director for Tom Hooper.
Seriously? Best Actress and Actor before 11:30? You guys rock! Jeff Bridges presented Best Actress. Jennifer Lawrence and Michelle Williams were outstanding and truly deserved their noms, but Portman's been a shoe-in for months. And she won. Her speech showed loyalty and gratitude, and it's a softer Portman than I remember seeing.
Colin Firth, ev-eryone's pick, won Best Actor for The King's Speech. "I have a feeling my career has just peaked," he started. He tried to finish, he said, before his "stirrings" to dance made their way to his legs. And finally, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some impulses I have to attend to backstage." Only he could get away with sounding like, well, the king of England.
The King's Speech won Best Picture for a quadruple-whammy of Best Actor, Original Screenplay, and Director as well. I'm just happy it wasn't The Social Network. 'Cause all unauthorized biographies of billionaires are comparable to Citizen Kane, don't ya know.
A kids' chorus from PS 22 in Staten Island finished the night off. Now kids' choruses can get away with some mediocre stuff, but not these guys, who did a perfect "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." The T-shirts were not so appropriate for the occasion, though. The curtain rose and the hosts and all of the winners walked out. Now that is a proper ending.
Eugene Mirman (Flight of the Conchords, Bob's Burgers, Delocated) performs at the Northstar Bar (2639 Poplar St.) on Sat. March 5. We caught up with him for a chat. City Paper: Have you performed in Philly much? Eugene Mirman: I've played lots of music venues in Philly, I've never played a comedy club there. I've played the Northstar, TLA, Troc, Khyber ... I like doing comedy in a theater or seated rock club. A lot of comedy clubs have an affectation to them that's sort of, I guess cheesy ... or there's a two drink minimum. But at the rock clubs, you buy a ticket to a show and you can get very very drunk if you like, but you don't have to.
|Dafni D. Comerota|
|Meryl Levitz, Ed Cambron, Anne Ewers and Roz McPhearson|
|Rames and Hoyt|
|The Social Network|
|The Kids Are All Right|
|Toy Story 3|
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