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Poetic License
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Dear mentor and friend, it’s been a long time since I’ve updated you. I hope the heat isn’t too bad where you live, and that you and the dogs are happy. Here, its time for editing, and for a little break from writing paragraphs about all the things I am not doing, at least for a little while.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): Don’t be surprised if some old friends arrive at your holiday door with ridiculously-decorated cookies and Marcel the Shell’s new book. Here’s to a year of doing whatever Jenny Slate tells us to, to the oversize Christmas lights around your door, to the pretty woods you live in.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Happy belated birthday to one of the stars’ favorite people in the world, Lori McGinn! Your coming year will be filled with daffodils, Lost episodes on demand, children’s craft projects, grace, and lots of family snuggling. You deserve to be a hug millionaire, don’t forget it.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): You are as beautiful and risky as camping on a second date — take this opportunity for very fresh air, hiking and a warm-front acquaintance despite the cold.
Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Sometimes I mix up statistics class with OK Cupid, and this is a good thing. Write as many notes to as many cute faces as you can possibly stand to, and it’s probable that your dance card will overwhelm you.
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): Conduct an interview with yourself 10 years ago, or maybe even 20. See what risks you would’ve taken, what scandalous demands you would have made without thinking, what staircases you would have feverishly disrobed on. Be just a little more like that person.
Aries (March 21-April 18): Take this time to embroider all of the progress you’ve made onto merit badges. Sew every snuggle, poem, and promotion, and wear it all like a proud sash. More is coming, and soon, so you’d better be ready.
Taurus (April 19-May 18): I gave up online Scrabble because of a bad conversation there, but a Taurus pal sensibly told me that I shouldn’t blame Scrabble for this, and says I should take it up again. Think of everything you’ve neglected because of grief and consider taking them all back.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): Every year, on the night that we put up the Christmas tree, I make eggnog bread pudding for my wife and me to eat in front of sitcoms before tackling the untangling of lights. Add several made-up traditions to your repertoire, the more decadent, the better.
Cancer (June 22-July 23): You are of course ending the year with more milestones and accomplishments than ever before — years are like that. Cut out 10 paper snowflakes for every new thing you are proud of, and string them up on every mirror.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): You are like a craft workshop at the nature center — wholesome, happy, pure and prone to collecting leaves for their design qualities. Wrap it all up into a wreath and hang it on the door. I promise that no one will steal it.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): I learned from last week’s “Poly for the Holidays” episode of Polyamory Weekly that hosting a dinner can be a way of expressing one’s submissive side. I never though of it quite that way, but this week, feel free to be of service in any way you see fit, especially if it involves elaborate desserts.
Libra (Sept 24-Oct 21): On this year’s Christmas episode of "How I Met Your Mother," AC/DC and an elaborate light display came into play in cheering up a friend. To your friends, you are that many lights and that much very emphatic music.
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): Like those teenagers making out in the car in “Manos: The Hands of Fate,” you just can’t seem to stop kissing. Good for you! Don’t let anything stop you.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): For those of us who fall toward the middle of the Muppet/human spectrum, asking ourselves “Am I a man, or a Muppet?” can be kind of tricky. This week, be adorably grateful for all the things at which you are in-between.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): And speaking of in-between, courtesy of my wife’s Scrabble dictionary, I present to you the word ambivert, which means a person who is both an introvert and an extrovert. This week, take time to be a social butterfly, yes, but also time to cocoon. (Even though, sorry, cocoons are mainly for moths.)
Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): This week, catch up on girl talk, the activity, and Girl Talk, the dude who makes excellent mashups out of pop songs. On a related note, raveling and unraveling have the same definition.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): I recently went to a performance at the Circus School near my house, and it inspired me to tell you this: meditate on hoops, and silks, and ropes, balance, foolproof costumes, and funny magic tricks. Also, as always, sequins.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): It’s the end of the semester and everything’s up in the air. Plow through your homework so that you can get on with the festivities, the toasts, the walks around downtown under the snowflake lights.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): You are as comforting and comforted as snuggling on the couch in front of Mystery Science Theatre 3000: the gentle rhythm of time-capsule jokes, the Zen of B-movie (Or C- or D-Movie) framing, silly and soft as breath.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Last weekend, I got the following fortune cookie, and it reminded me of you: “You will be spending time outdoors, in the mountains, near water.” The coming weeks will be like that, exactly like an advertisement for being alive. Collect lots of leaves and luck, and keep them.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): Happy birthday! This week, meditate on TV shows about cupcakes: The sudden ubiquitousness of red velvet, the intricacies of frosting roses, the elaborate themed showpieces displaying an array of sweetness, that’s you.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” (Semisonic, "Closing Time") This week, and every week, really, let one thing go and let one new thing start, even if it’s trying a new recipe or getting attached to a new sitcom, it’s a little way to keep starting life over.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): Take whatever you did with your extra daylight saving time and invest it — even if it pays dividends of dancing or of extra sleep, you’ll be rich with it soon enough.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): To a Scorpio pal who builds elaborate architecture out of Legos, and who alerted me to the existence of Lego conventions — people and conventions are so wonderfully specific. Good for you if even in your spare time you are building something innocent and complicated, all at once.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Every good mixtape contains a few skippable tracks. For instance, the stars often like to include a Glee cover of a belty pop song — delightful, but certainly not for everyone. Celebrate the miracles of imperfection this week, the reasons we are both human and divine.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): To the Capricorn in the picture, head of a festive zombie family — it’s exactly right, given the number of times you’ve resurrected yourself, how hungry you are, and how tireless. May you roam the streets forever, uncursed, never to be decapitated or set on fire.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): Like the characters in the pretty good but maybe not so long-lived new show Once Upon a Time, you might feel as if time is standing still. If you pay attention like the little hero of the story, though, you’ll see the town clock start to move.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Enjoy your homecoming, brief though it may be. Settle into your bones, you childhood bed, the cats you used to sit for. Pray to the light-up subway map in your heart, think how all the trains are always just going back and forth, back and forth.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): Look up and meditate on the YouTube video “Can’t Hug Every Cat.” Think about emotional honesty, awkwardness, little bow ties, and how much you love and want the soft, fuzzy things in life.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): To the Sagittarius who likes to knit at parties: may your busy hands make something glittery and magic, like rainbow socks or a scarf that is as warm as your heart is.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): You are always carrying a lot of stuff. First, learn to love what your arms are already full of. Second, let someone take a few items and carry them for you.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): “I’m cute together with everybody” (Tom Haverford on Parks and Recreation). Feel free to get pretty and go out and put your face next to whoever’s face you choose. It’s worth the risk every time.
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): Learning a lot can make you tired, so practice your napping. See how many different times and places you can snuggle in a handmade quilt and fall asleep.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Since life is brand new for you, meditate on all the words you can think of that begin with the prefix “trans”: Translate, transmute, transubstantiate, transfix, transcend, etc. Enjoy the miracle of moving from one thing to another, and back again.
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