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Poetic License
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): “Leave no stone unturned/ In your quest to/disrupt a rock garden.” (Demetri Martin) Be as anti-Zen as you’d like, Leo. Make a mess out of every calm. Be uppity, overwhelming, and out of control.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): Gaps in inspiration are scary like cliffs, but they aren’t cliffs, so don’t fall in. Soon enough a spark and glimmer, a new hot song in your head, a telephone full of love letters, or at least X's and O's.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): It may be too hot now for this, but the stars like to picture you walking through the cool woods at twilight, maybe with a nice Virgo, just as the Narnian lamps come on, just as the fireflies start their amorous signaling.
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): “It takes a team of four horses to force the giant clam of the South Seas to yawn against its will. Every passive mollusk demonstrates the hidden vigor of introversion, the power that is contained in peace.” (Tom Robbins)
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): A mini tarot reading for you. The past: The (sensible) Emperor. The present: The Tower, but in a good way. The future: the Ten of Cups, a cup-city spilling over with wealth and friendship, a triumph just as soon as you arrive.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): From the way your children sing the bawdy songs of other families, I guess you’re connected forever, never alone no matter how often you travel, no matter how your mailbox sticks shut, you are all loved, you are always loved.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): As soon as you get home from work, pack up the car with blankets, pillows and beach books. Wait until late at night when the traffic dissipates and drive to the nearest shore. Have an ice cream cone with sprinkles, find some pretty shells and kiss the nearest salty face.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): Give your face and art a break from trying to be lovable. Stop ruminating on the funhouse mirrors you keep in your heart for yourself. Fold every unrequited love into paper airplanes and fly them until they turn to birds.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): To my Libra friend whose hearing is unwell — we can hope that soon your ears will open like umbrellas or flowers or like your heart and you’ll hear every 808 in every dance remix of every festive song so clearly it’ll be like Morrissey is tattooing love letter endorphins directly onto your brain.
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): Alyssa, the blond roommate in The Real L Word, never seems to have her own plotline — she seems to exist only to narrate the “heartthrob” Whitney’s shenanigans. You are the opposite of that — you know there are storylines enough for everyone, so go out and thicken the plot.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Your choice to create a new thing or two daily is such an admirable one—take time to thank every pigeon you ever apologized to, every holey sock, every friend whose request for help you’ve ever granted. Write it all down and arrange it neatly.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Cancer (June 22-July 23): The stars are making a mix called Pretty Moody for a Summer Mix, and it’s all songs we know you’ll like. They are for sipping pensive beers or driving back from the beach with noodly muscles. We love you like the finiteness of time.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): Your time spent Googling phrases such as “Riot Grrrl” and “Bikini Kill” will pay off handsomely. You’ll rise up like a punk rock Nike of Samothrace, all wings and drapery, all scars and tattoos.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Cancer (June 22-July 23): Like Nancy Botwin, Weeds' drug-dealing former housewife protagonist, you can never resist the stormy pull of curiosity — tell her not to look in the tunnel, and down she goes, all the way to Mexico. You can follow paths the way Nancy does, though not so darkly, and maybe not in such high heels.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): It is surprisingly fun to spend your day off editing, or checking for clerical errors, or checking off any number of sensible to-do list boxes. Just be sure you do something nice and impractical afterward, like making a kite out of neckties, blowing candy bubbles or picking out new sparkly shoes.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): “There’s a blush for won’t, a blush for shan’t, / a blush for having done it: / There’s a blush for thought, a blush for naught, / and a blush for just begun it.” (John Keats) Collect blushes like ribbons and make a pretty nest.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Cancer (June 22-July 23): Say Please (Monsters of Folk): (Happy happy birthday to one of my very very favorite poetry friends in the entire universe, Daniel McGinn!) 1. You are the very best person ever and 2. The universe is big, waiting and overflowing with shiny things, bright frosted cookies, and dazzling handmade arts and crafts. All you ever have to do is ask.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): Home (Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes): “Well, hot & heavy, pumpkin pie, chocolate candy, Jesus Christ, there ain’t nothin’ please me more than you.” Run around, snuggle, snooze, sing and hold hands on the beach with your best best friend in the whole wide world.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): Your Love is My Drug (Ke$ha): “So, I’ve got a question. Do you want to have a slumber party in my basement? Do I make your heart beat like an 808 drum?” Should you start to slouch towards timidity this summer, I want you to stop and think, “What would Ke$ha do?”
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): Doll Parts (Hole): You ARE the grrrl with the most cake, the gentleman with the most pudding, the kid with the most candy, the Agent Cooper with the most cherry pie. Things are just getting stickier and stickier.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Cancer (June 22-July 23): The universe would like to recognize your outstanding achievement in the field of Surrealism, gift-giving and mix-making, and thank you for your ridiculously abundant music.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): Oh, Leo, the stars can’t thank you enough, for your open ears, your meticulous care of household pets, your refusal to let anyone give up the ghost, your stubborn dedication, and your tears, misspent and otherwise.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): Your fortune cookie says, “A golden investment opportunity is approaching." The stars humbly suggest that you invest in pajamas. Shop for pajamas the way ladies in novels shop for lingerie — full of purpose and possibility. Soon you’ll be a soft, cuddly thing, trimmed in ribbons and lace.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): You are a matchbox marked “Wishes.” Strike them one at a time and light up everything. Husband the flames into spells that start everything over.
Cancer (June 22-July 23): You’re like the video of my nephew doing the robot — all the joy ever, compressed into about 11 seconds. Also, there seems to be some kind of “shorty fire” that is, in fact, burning on the dancefloor.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): Like my mom, who had twins on her birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY Mom, Katie, and Eddie!), you will find yourself overwhelmed with friendship and calendar-luck. Write in whatever you wish.
Cancer (June 22-July 23): “Coming from a former Communist country, I will never do something for some reason. I will do only things because I like to do it.” --Christo, when asked why he was making The Gates.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): My psychology-major brother says that your brain is programmed to tell you things’ll never get better after you make a mistake, but it’s not true. Things always get better. Make charts and graphs to prove it.
Cancer (June 22-July 23): The stars appreciate your listening ears, generous even while you’re at work, even when you are supposed to be doing important things with machines. Heart-glitter and grateful tears to you.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): Do some really good nothing. Remember watching whole seasons of TV series in one or two sittings? Remember perfect inertia, alone or with someone sweet? Accomplishments can forget it, just for delicious now.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): In upstate New York, the lilacs are blooming, reminding T.S. Eliot and the rest of us that life is finite. The smell of lilacs means: If you need something, get it. If you miss someone, call. If you love someone, and I KNOW you do, celebrate!
Cancer (June 22-July 23): See you in the fall, says a favorite Cancer, cryptically, by email. I hope it does mean he’ll visit, but “See you in the fall” is also what you can say to most of your inhibitions, most of your practicality, to most of your loneliness. Summer is for busy and sun.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): You are an evening walk in rainy sun. Put down your rainbow umbrella and let the drops and beams smooch your wonderful face. You are hereby awarded the dragonfly of bravery, the humidity of love.
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