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TV
We like American Idol. Too much.
Molly Eichel: Inspiration? Gag me with a spoon and then pull my innards out of my nostrils, please. Last night's show was anything but.
Tommy Button: I dunno. If you're thinking about jumping off an overpass into oncoming traffic, it just might give you the edge of inspiration you need to do the deed.
ME: I was disappointed in mentor Alicia Keyes, who just seemed like a plastic PR machine. I'm gonna give her credit though, she was probably just thinking, "I've listened to these glorified Coca Cola advertisements fuck with my songs for years." Her payback was to pick up the phone, dial in some warm platitudes and say some stuff about helping other people to pimp Idol Gives Back, which airs tonight (egads! She has me doing it too!). Let's start from the very beginning, a very good place to start.
TB: Casey James opened up the show with "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow." If Fleetwood Mac worked for Bill Clinton, why not Casey James?
ME: Because Clinton had balls, that's why. If the great Daniel Desario once posited that rock 'n' roll comes from your crotch, then Casey's performance demonstrated that he's a Ken doll with no angle to his dangle. There was no heart, no soul, no burning sexiness that even Lindsey fuckin' Buckinham has. Despite his luxurious Robert Plant locks, this performance proved that Casey is the frontman for a band where the drummer or something can go screw the kinky groupie Casey is too afraid of. Someone needs to do it. And I think that someone just might be Lee Dewyze at this point.
TB: Lee Dewyze is inspiring the way Chicken Soup For The Soul is inspiring. I bet some fat chicks were crying out there during this one.
ME: Singing Simon & Garfunkel's "The Boxer," Lee's confidence keeps growing — it's deserved, in part because this was one of his better showings. But, with that little date rape smirk, my inner ratio of wanting to throw a drink in his face as opposed to giving him a hug telling him it'll all gonna be okay is sincerely out of whack. Keep it in check Lee. Still, the best thing Lee did of the evening was make Tim Urban look even worse.
TB: Tim had a few weeks of shots in the dark but he's back to his shitty self. 'Bout time. If you thought the Goo Goo Dolls could be any lamer, boy, were you wrong.
ME: The Goo Goo Dolls ... Ha! So apt. Just like Tim Urban: All-style, no substance with unmerited designs on being more than just haircut. At least he didn't sing "Iris." My head would have exploded from sheer frustration. Kind of like it did last night with Aaron Kelly. Like Casey's song, this was just a dickless version of the "I Believe I Can Fly." Maybe Aaron just needs to pee on a few underage girls to get the chops necessary to sing this song.
TB: First off, if you're gonna pick something from the Space Jam soundtrack, stick with the Quad City DJs. It was good to see him out-perform the likes of Tim Urban. And of course, A. Kelly was inspiring. Youth are always inspiring.
ME: Continuing in the vein of soundtracks was Siobhan Magnus with that horrid song from The Prince of Egypt.
TB: Siobhan's dress looked like that shitty Crazytown video. And her performance was also shitty like that Crazytown video. Or anything about Crazytown.
ME: I suspected this was gone be cracked but then thought, maybe just maybe, the combined craziness of Mariah and Whitney had created a golem of divadom that became Siobhan. This was not correct. Instead, it was the song the heroine of musical sings in right before intermission that gets reprised again in the final love scene. Translation: Nicely sung, totally Broadway. But I guess that's better then a nicely sun canceled out by the fact that it was originally sung by Nickelback.
TB: Big Mike was already voted off once so I hope he's built up some sort of emotional wall to help him cope getting kicked off a second time.
ME: This was not the song to save yourself on BM. I'm worried for ya boy. Which brings us to the only reason I can still stomach watching this show without being heavily medicated.
TB: Jesus, Powerox. Just, fucking Jesus.
ME: That's pretty much all you can say. She gets a pass every week from us for being so good but that was beyond. Still, the best part was her dad, decked out in a motorcycle hat and sunglasses, he looked like he was leaving a leather bar. And that something as beautiful and earth shattering as Crystal Bowersox came out of that Village People-looking motherfucker is inspiring enough as it is.
Least inspiring show about inspiration ever. And I love the Daniel Desario shout out, Molly (it was my away message for about 3 years. so glad you made me remember it now)!
Filed Under: TV
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| A Tribute to Bjork: Ellen's Earth Day outfit? |
Filed Under: TV
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| Dr. Frasier Crane/Grammer | Grammer's BFF = Snider |
The New York Daily News is finalizing reports of a kind that we only dared to fear: Actor Kelsey Grammer and Comcast-Spectacor Charmain Ed Snider are but two of the names behind The RightNetwork, a new Republican friendly on-demand cable operation that, as Grammer says, is "targeted at Americans who are looking for content that reflects and reinforces their perspective and world-view." Worse than FOX? Worse than Fox.
So says Snider to the DN:
"We're creating a welcome place for millions and millions of Americans who've been looking for an entertainment network and media channel that reflects their point-of-view," Ed Snider, chairman of Comcast-Spectacor, said in a statement on the site. "RightNetwork will be the perfect platform to entertain, inform and Connect with the American majority about what's right in the world."
Don't get your panties in a twist boy and girls. Snider, who owns the soon-to-blow Wachovia Spectrum and the replacement entertainment complex extravaganza Philly Live, is making a personal investment. So don't get excited that Kabletown ... I mean Xfinity ... I mean the Comcast network is involved. (Comcast swiftly released a statement denying their involvement.)
On tap? A reality show called Running, featuring six political newbies throwing their hate into their local races and Evan Sayet's Right 2 Laugh, a comedy show that, as Grammer says, "proves funny people and funny things come from both sides of the aisle."
Shudder.
One whole comment, and that was SPAM. Popular website ya got here. We will take the House and Senate in 2010. FEAR US!
what chanel isw this politcal stuff going to be on just the facts no o pinion please unless ed snider himself will partcipate
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| blogginprojectrunway.com |
| Top: Jay Bottom: Mila |
Oh please - do we have to sit through 10 designs by Mila in order to see who wins this season? At this point, I am hanging on mostly due to momentum (gotta have closure or something). If the three designs she showed to compete against Jay are her 'best' offerings, I may not be able to stand it. Jay's designs were indeed overdone - it was as if he tried to insert every possible design trick into them to show he could do innovative things. At least his collection offered a new look at fashion. Mila's designs looked like something off the 1967 sale rack in K-Mart. Nothing new or exciting. Her cocktail dress was straight out of the Twiggy era. I could probably handle the black and white part (tired of it as I am) if she had even one shred of originality. Retro has to take a look to a new level to be fashion - otherwise it's off-the-rack hack designing. Oh yeah - it looks like we have to watch Ping whine and moan next week when they have the reunion session? Somebody give her some meds, please.
Mila's clothes can be worn by all women. The others are great, but the average woman cannot wear them.
Who cares that everyone can't wear Jay's clothes? That's not what a "Design" competition is about.
I don't know about you but when the judges picked Mila and leave her a tip to make sure her models look young, it was a little disconcerting (why?). See, I got the samurai part. Jay's "overdesign" is still a little more exciting than what we were shown in comparison to the other designers. At the very least it gives me a lot more to look forward to than the geometric black and white blah, blah, blah . . .
very true... design is not about the average woman would wear...if it was up to that then almost NOTHING would be presented in runways... not even the people wearing the clothes at these shows are average women... Jay should have won! Mila... we r just tired of u...
How sad is Project Runway:( The whole thing wreaks of Bravo's drama ratings and $100,000.00 to boot. If these designers are truly as horrible as Michael Kors says they maybe he should get off his ass and start designing again. Which brings me to the point of the other judges. One supermodel who designs glued halloween costumes once a year and a magazine editor who's NEVER sewn one stitch in her life. Well I guess this is TV land so what can you expect. Uggg....
Oh, c'mon. Last night's episode had the greatest moment in ProjRun history: Heidi's twitch when Seth Aaron announced that his line was based on 1940's German uniforms. Somewhere in NY, Tim Gunn is watching a loop of that footage and laughing himself silly.
PLEASE, tell me the visits Tim made was NOT the Finale????? I was away for two weeks, thought I taped the last episode but when I go to watch it, it was Tim visiting. Thus, missed the winner, the collection and feel I watched 9/10th of a movie the projector broke. Anyone know where I can find the actual final episode??? I have searched with no luck.
Filed Under: TV Idol Hands
We like American Idol. Too much.
Molly Eichel: Say buh bye to Andrew Garcia and Katie Stevens. Not a shocker for either considering they were both at the shallow end of the talent pool. While I gotta give big ups to Katie for improving in the last couple of weeks, the real tragedy here is Andrew who, as Simon pointed out during one of those Welcome to the Dollhouse-level of awkward performances, that he wasn't that talented to begin with and just happened to have a bitchin' version of "Straight Up" ready to go for the judges come Hollywood.
Tommy Button: Andrew has been clinging to his Idolship by a thread for weeks now, so I have to imagine him getting the boot would almost come as a relief. I'm more upset about Aaron Kelly not going home. I actually think he's getting worse but his remaining presence is just a second reminder to all registered voters in Dade County, FL: Old people vote. And it's also a reminder of why 14-year-old girls can't vote. Katie Stevens is the one who gets the short end of the stick, though. Of all the weeks she's been on the show, this was the one she sucked least.
ME: But, alas, Katie was never going to make it to the top three. She just didn't have Aaron's pedarest appeal. Sayonara, High School. My heart hurt when Big Mike was in the bottom three. He is almost destined to get the boot, unless he Jean Claude Van Dammes next week's theme, which he probably won't.
TB: On a side note: Idol producers need to tone down the laser light show extravaganza during guest performances. I get it. You need something to cover up how shitty people are but believe it or not, I'd rather listen to Adam Lambert for 3 minutes than have my retinas burned out.
Uninspiring all around, but ME manages to take this one for gratuitous of JCVD.
I wish JCVD would mentor those little fuckers.
Filed Under: Now See This | TV
So Kool Keith made a music video for It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's Dick Towel. (It's NSFW, clearly.)
And Kool Keith becomes the official hero of Critical Mass.
Also: A belated congratulations to Mac and Sweet Dee on their impending dumpster baby.
We like American Idol. Too Much.
Tommy Button: Adam Lambert became the first Idol contestant to mentor the young 'uns when he returned this week to pump the kids up with his razzle-dazzle. Glambo schooled the contestants on Elvis but I doubt Adam's expertise on the guy except that he wore sparkley clothes too. Regardless, his blanket advice of 'don't be so god damned boring' was pretty spot on.
Molly Eichel: The only interesting thing about last night was that Ryan Seacrest clearly drunk on Malibu and diet coke — shouting out the AT&T fan, telling Crystal "no worries" when she coughed, dancing in the aisle during Tim's song with Michael Sarver. Not to mention the Dunkelman crack! Think he's stressed 'cause Didi Benami called and the strip turned blue?
TB: The night started out with Powersox singing "Saved." She didn't even have to sing during that performance. She could have sailed through on the sheer badassness of that fucking guitar.
ME: Ditto. I'm getting bored of talking about how flat-out fantastic she is. Next? Big Mike redeemed himself after last week's surprise boot-'n'-save with "In the Ghetto."
TB: Best. Elvis. Song. Ever. Good job, Big Mike. I think it's fair to say that Big Mike has made save worth while. He gets the best performance of the night prize because of stellar song choice and total redemption points. Of course, I want to say Powersox, but she's going to be the last one standing anyway, so just let others have their turn.
ME: Yeah, he was good but not fantastic. The vocals were spot-on but the arrangement was sleepy. I'm used to the campier-than-thou version by Elvis — white suit and all — so it wasn't the stunner that I was hoping for. If Powersox gets the automatic by, I'd have to say that prize has to go to Lee Dewyze's "A Little Less Conversation."
TB: I still think Lee Dewyze is as boring as the Book of Mormon but he's got some chops. He should go reverse Milli Vanilli and be the vocals for some much more charismatic personality.
ME: That's a ludicrous metaphor, Butt-bot, especially considering that Lee has improved immensely when it comes to stage presence. I just wish he was a smudge more attractive. Unlike Casey James, whose got it going on looks-wise but put me to sleep faster than a handful 'ludes with "Lawdy Ms. Clawdy."
TB: I love that Casey goes for the bluesy every now and then but I really don't believe it 100 percent. He comes off as some garage chump who listened to too many of his dad's Stevie Ray Vaughn records. And by too many, I mean one.
ME: And that's why Casey James can never be real famous. Just, like, folk star famous. He needs to Botox his sound right now, just like Siobhan Magnus' "Suspicious Minds." That sounded like some Linda Ronstadt shit.
TB: Seeing Siobhan and Adam in the same room was like an episode of the Twilight Zone where everyone around you looks exactly the same. She seems like she's beginning to think that just because she's 'different' she's just as good, or better than, other people in the competition. ::coughcough::Powersox::coughcough:: Excuse me.
ME: Do you need a lozenge? I would offer you the smooth sounds of Andrew Garcia if I didn't think you'd joke to death on him.
TB: It sucks that Andrew always falls short. I don't think he's getting the cool sucked out of him, as Simon suggests, but he need to nut up. For crissake, there was a bagpipe and didgeridoo last week and Andrew Garcia can't think of one fucking thing to spice his performance up.
ME: This was his wheel house too, old songs he can Garcia up. At first I heard a little Latin flavor in there that I was digging but then it turned into Sucktown where Aaron Kelly had already taken up residence.
TB: I'm going to assume Aaron had never actually heard of Elvis before this week.
ME: But that wasn't surprising, I didn't think he was going to do anything other than bad karaoke, unlike Katie Stevens who pulled it out again with "Baby, What'd You Want Me to Do?" You go, High School!
TB: Last night Katie Stevens picked up the pace in a big way. I think we may have found a true dark horse of the competition.
ME: But oh god. What if she isn't?! What if he wins? Oh, god. Oh god. Nooooooo!
TB: This Tim Urban guy is weaseling his way up in the rankings and I don't like it. The worst part is, America isn't getting dumber but he's getting stronger. If Tim Urban gets any closer to winning, I'm pretty sure there are going to be some dudes from the future who have traveled back in time looking for him so they can kill him and prevent the apocalyptic future-nightmare that awaits us with Tim Urban being crowned American Idol.
h/t TB much funnier and more on point than ME this week. TB wins.
Tim Urban = Turban! Best namogen ever! Thanks for spreading the gospel of the namogen, Seacrest.
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| blogginprojectrunway.com |
| Anthony, Emilio, Jay, Mila, Seth Aaron |
Maybe I'm missing something, but Mila's outfit looks like those big coats worn by the guards in the Emerald City (Wizard of Oz). Dye it green, and you'll see Dorothy, the flying monkeys, the lion & all the other Oz characters. She does have good craftsmanship, but her designs just don't do it for me.
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| mattsoncreative.com/blog |
| The chair of electromagnetic death |
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