|From top left: Amy, Anthony, Ben, Emilio, Jay,
Jesse, Jonathan, Maya, Mila and Seth Aaron
With only 10 designers remaining, Emilio reminds us early in this episode that the kids are half way to Bryant Park. Now it's just a matter of beating nine other competitors. Good luck with that one.
This week, the designers met TG and Michael Kors at Kors' SoHo store. Aside from giving his store a little publicity, it isn't clear why Kors was there. All he did was tell the remaining 10 that they were getting their design supplies from a hardware store rather than Mode, Project Runway's fabric store of choice. Oh Michael Kors, this challenge just wouldn't have been the same if you didn't personally deliver the guidelines on the floor of your fancy pants store.
With not a bolt of fabric in sight, the kids had to collect sand paper, copper sheets, keys, screening, industrial duct tape and plastic garbage bags to fashion some sort of wearable clothing. The sewing room turned crazy. It was like suddenly all the art students were in shop class and they weren't sure what the hell they were doing. At this point Jesse confesses, "Not in a mean way, but you kind of hope somebody crashes and burns." No, Jesse, not mean at all.
Jay's crazy trash-bag-turned-leather-pants that shrunk during construction and almost didn't fit the model were magical. It's not even worth the suspense: He won the challenge. Amy and, as much as I hate to admit it, Mila's designs boasted creativity and fashion-forward thinking but Jay's two-piece design with a braided belt was undoubtedly the best. The last time he won, he made a dress from burlap sacks. The man has a gift for shape-shifting some slop material into detailed fashion. Twinsies Mila and Maya made up the remaining parts of this week's top three. There's really no need to even describe Mila's design because you can already guess that it was black and white color blocking. Only this time it was made from paint tray liners. Maya made a very subdued dress to go with a screen and key necklace and a wire jacket that looked like it crawled all spindly-legged out of Tim Burton's dreams.
Remember that whole crashing and burning that Jesse mentioned? Well that came courtesy of Jesse and Emilio this week. When given the challenge, Emilio whined about not being one to make crafts, but rather "sophisticated" clothing. His washer and pink cord design this week could not have been any further from sophisticated if the Queen herself was wearing it. First, E didn't budget and had to leave half of his supplies at the hardware store. Then Tim Gunn expressed concern that the remaining materials were enough to make an entire dress. Gunn warned him that he may end up making a bikini, or a bottomless dress. When Emilio's model hit the runway she was wearing, of all things, a disturbing bikini. Heidi pointed out that it had no pattern and was hard to follow. The thing was atrocious. But the worst part was when Emilio stood in front of the judges and hand fed them some premium bull shit, saying he knew everyone else would be making a dress (well, not this week's winner Jay, honey) and a swimsuit is something you wouldn't expect to see on the runway. Blah, blah, blah. Somehow he managed to fool the judges and they let him hang in the competition for at least one more week.
It was Jesse's sub par design, though, that lost the challenge. The judges couldn't find enough negative adjectives to describe his "Hershey Kiss/dirty vacuum bag/tin man" dress. Still, nothing was as bad as Emilio's poor judgment, tasteless design and attempt to lie his way to next week's challenge. It wouldn't be too far fetched to think that Heidi and her minions see Em as a talented fashion designer on the rise and therefore wanted to give him another chance to prove himself. Jesse's dress was no great feat of fashion, but it wasn't half as ridiculous as Emilio's busted bikini.
We like American Idol. Too much.
Tommy Button: The irony of the group performance of "I Gotta Feeling" as an Elimination Night opener was almost too much. No big surprises last night. In fact, if you care to review the record you'll see that I already told you this was gonna happen yesterday.
Molly Eichel: Fish. Barrel. Meet American Idol.
TB: John Park is back to bong rips and N'Sync covers with Purple Haze.
ME: He just didn't have the star power to make it. I thought Todrick Hall was worse, but at least he got zazz. John Park was zazzless.
TB: Jermaine Sellers is trading in his bow tie for a Windsor knot.
ME: Aw, no more inadvertently making yourself out to be a giant douche on live television. Also to bandleader Michael: You're welcome.
TB: Haeley Vaughn FINALLY stopped smiling.
ME: We had high hopes, we had high hopes, we had high apple pie, in the sky up in the hiiiiigh hopes ... that were dashed when she opened your mouth.
TB: Michelle Delamor had to sing Creed for a second time (which is bad for everybody.)
ME: Tommy, I was impressed that you called this one. I thought she was safe and Didi was going home but Jesus must hate Creed as much as the rest of us. I think the bad half-prom dress and jeans combo she wore on Wednesday had something to do with it. Her outfit looked like something Stephanie Seymour would wear in the "November Rain" video. But, once again, I ask, how is Lacey Brown still on this show?
TB: To break the tension, a coked up Danny Gokey even showed up with a little country ditty that gives the impression he's over his dead wife and ready to plow through some strippers.
ME: What!? How could you turn on our boy Totes McGokes. Yeah, he looks like he spent more nights wishing he hadn't done blow off that hooker's ass than not, but he wasn't that bad.
TB: I love the guy and all but somewhere in the subsequent year, Danny seems to have fallen in the wrong crowd. It was probably the advice that damn Randy Travis gave him.
We like American Idol. Too much.
Molly Eichel: Wow. Mee-dee-okra. There were only two up-to-snuff performances. Everything else wasn't even last-call-on-a-Friday-at-Ray's-worthy. Or worse.
Tommy Button: I really hope Powersox doesn't die this season because she might just be the only one to save the quickly sinking S.S. Idol. Even though the boys were still on the shitty end of the stick last night, everyone showed improvement. The girls, however, were a bit all over the place, running the gamut from two thumbs up to a pair of severed thumbs flushed down the toilet.
ME: To start off, I think Tommy and I can both agree that we are no longer on Team Haeley.
TB: I know I was all about her in the beginning but I would like to take this moment to retract all my positive statements regarding Haeley Vaughn. I've had enough of the fucking Sarlaac. You've devoured your last victim.
ME: I don't think "The Climb" was an awful song choice. She's young, she should have done a young song. But god, who knew that someone could make Miley Cyrus look like motherfucking Maria Callas? On first viewing, I didn't think it was that bad but on second listen, it's horrendous. On a plus side, I now listen to "Party in the U.S.A." with newfound respect.
TB: I can't believe everyone makes such a big deal about waterboarding but things like that are still able to happen. I was pretty sure that was gonna take home the medal for worst song choice but oh, no. Michelle Delamor took the stage with a little bit of Creed, singing "With Arms Wide Open." I don't care how good of a singer you are, Creed is never a good decision. It wasn't a good a decision for music. It wasn't a good decision for America. Fuck. Creed wasn't even a good decision for Scott Stapp. If for some reason she makes it through, I suggest taking a stab at some Nickleback.
ME: Yeah, I mostly hated on Michelle because she took on the leather-pants wearin', God-fearing Creed (without even one Jesus pose! C'mon!) but at least she switched up the arrangement. Lacey Brown, on the other hand, took a simple song to sing (Sixpence None the Richer's "Kiss Me"), sung it like the recorded version and still ended up sounding like she wasn't meant for this competition. Get outta here Brown Nose.
TB: The two aforementioned thumbs (not the severed ones) are referring to Lilly Scott and Powersox.
TB: Far and away the best of the night. Powersox stayed true to her name and didn't play some pity card or half ass the thing, she came out and performed like a serious performer. The show must go on, and by God, it will if Powersox has anything to do with it!
ME: I loved it when she said she was a tough cookie. She was like, "Hospital? Whatevs. Lemme just take this here Creedence Clearwater Revival song AND KILL IT." My friend Charlie put it best: SuperPowersox.
TB: Lilly Scott is in my faves mostly because of her song choice,"A Change Is Gonna Come." It's a perfect song and no one will ever do it like Sam Cooke but Lilly Scott made that song her own and didn't do it half bad, either. And so far, Lilly Scott has remained relatively cool, calm and collected. No freak-outs, awkward chats, or wardrobe snafus. It's like the girl is trying to make my job hard
ME: So many people fail at this song. But I thought the arrangement was perfect for her, showing off her strengths rather than highlighting her weaknesses. But she's just so ... she has a look (peacock ears, silver hair), she's fine on camera but I just believe Powersox more. There's an authenticity about Powersox, a reason to root for her that I just don't see yet in Lilly. Still, amazing performance
We like American Idol. Too much.
Molly Eichel: Like many of you, I sat on my couch with my head cocked confused puppy-style when I saw the boys take the stage last night? Wasn't it supposed to be the ladies? Yep, apparently Crystal Bowersox was rushed to the hospital for vaguely disclosed reasons and the boys stepped up to take their place. Get well soon Powersox!
Tommy Button: Alright. I'll give the boys credit where credit is due. Clearly, these men did some soul searching after last week's clusterfuck and found something inside to make them suck less. Congratulations on sucking less, boys. Next, try not sucking at all
ME: I've got to give it up for Michael "Big Mike" Lynche, who sang James Brown's "It's a Man's Man's Man's World." Half of the boys' problem is their song choice and this is perfect for him. It's both ballad-y enough so he can show off his range but paced fast enough to show off the personality that makes him so attractive as a contestant in the first place. This was the first performance and I already knew it was going to make my top two of the evening. Also, did you see he was BFFs with Andrew Garcia?
TB: I like his BFF-ship with Andrew Garcia. That's a duo you want on your side, although Andrew needs to step it up. But Big Mike is getting a little boring for me. Sure, he's good but he doesn't do it for me all the way. Kind of like a black Lee Dewyze.
ME: Your opinion may be borderline retarded Tommy, but you lead me to my perfect transition to my second favorite performance of the night: Lee Dewyze's "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder. Detractors bitch that Idol is glorified karaoke, but I could almost hear Lee singing songs like this on the radio. Like, I would turn on WMMR and could hear Lee Dewyze. He did look awkward as fuck lumbering around the stage though, and I think he'll split votes with Casey James, who is considerably better.
TB: Plus, Casey James rebuilt his own house?! Wow. He reminds me more and more of that guy in The Notebook everyday.
ME: Casey reminds me of a redneck, Jesus-ier version of David Cook.
TB: If anyone was closest to not sucking at all it was Alex Lambert. I never thought it possible and I was certainly preparing for him to fail miserably but he somehow turned it out. The only way he could have been better would have been if he vomited everywhere he talked a lot about blowing chunks in his pre-taped interview while holding the last note. It'd be like a John Waters movie. For reals though, he sounded like he was having fun for the first time on this show. And probably most importantly, he made the stool work. I don't care about your arrangement, or the key, or the tempo. If you have a stool on that stage, you're taking the biggest risk ever. We expect something particular when we're being sung to from a stool so you better deliver.
ME: Mullet Chops certainly gets the Most Improved award. That was a show-defining performance. He'll coast the next couple of weeks on that alone. It also took stones to sing John Legend's "Everybody Knows." Turns out, boy's got boulders, considering the song choice and, apparently, the chair choice.
TB: Unfortunately, John Park wasn't able to work the same stool magic. John Park, resident Asian stoner and member of Purple Haze Northwestern's hottest a Cappela group, might as well have been singing "I'm ooooooooon a stooooooooool, I'm oooooon a stooooooool." That's how much that moved me. AND he looked stupid on that stool. CUT TO: disapproving Asian parents because you're going home, John Park.
ME: John's crime was being Scandinavian-move boring. Just as criminal though was Todrick Hall's decimation of Tina Turner's "What's Love Got to Do With It?" I didn't hate Todrick's arrangment last week as much as everyone else did, but one is moronic. Did he listen to the lyrics? You can't do a song about getting it on with no thought to good taste, pregnancyor herpes in the style of a let's-get-it-on ballad. I hope Ms. Tina saw that, barfed all over her yoga mat, did a "River Deep, Mountain High" wail and set out to find Todrick Hall and kick the shit out of him with those glorious gams.
TB: Jermaine Sellers was terrible. I really wanted to say Tim Urban was the worst out sheer principle but, let's face it, the pretty boy will rise again. But so I feel less bad about this, I'm gunna write "Tim Urban" in place of "Jermaine Sellers." In weird way, Tim Urban reminds me a little of Andre 3000. Maybe it's because I'm positive Andre 3000 has a closet of dino onesies. I always want to like him but he has this way of making good songs bad. Tim Urban took one of the greatest songs ever and made it pointless. "What's Going On?" is an intense song, Tim! Quit acting like you're drunk at wedding. But he knows God and God has a telephone that he will use to call in and vote for Tim so no one else bother. Gabriel working 24/7 at getting this guy into the Top 12.
ME: Jermaine needs to go. He ages everything. He took everything at all still current about this song and replaced it with lots of keyboards so it sounded like the theme song to Moonlighting. It's the exact opposite of everything Aaron Kelly does. "My Girl" needs to be sung by someone who has spent some actual quality time with a lady (or man, let's not discriminate), not someone who has three pubes and has to hide his Playboys from his mom.
TB: I thought he was trying to get a little too creative here. Maybe he thought he was putting a country spin on some Motown, but he sounded like he was at a junior high talent show. So it was good. As far as junior high talent shows go.
We like American Idol. Too much.
Tommy Button: Master of Suspense, Ryan Seacrest guided us through an hour of programming to provide us with 30 seconds of information. Actually, it took an extra 15 for me to realize how drunk Allison Iraheta was. But since we're all here, we might as well discuss went down.
The Top 24 had their first group performance with "American Boy" which, believe or not, was better than it sounds. I thought Powersox would be all over the place but she held it together nicely while Tim Urban scooted around like a hermit crab. After the formalities, Seacrest got down to business and dropped some knowledge.
Janell Wheeler was the first to get the bad news. Shocker, I know but it's better this way. It's early in the game so it'll only hurt a little, like ripping off a band-aid. And her swan song was pretty good if she was trying to sound like an actual dying bird. Later, white girl.ME: Thank heavens. Janell was about to give me a coronary, partly caused by unnecessary pop culture infatuation.
TB: Ashley Rodriguez was the next to get the boot. Great job, America. Kick off the hot Spanish chick. You blew it. I'm not saying Ashley was gonna go on to change the world or anything but give her another week, people. You're gunna send the good looking Latina and let Lacey Brown get away with that? I thought we turned a corner, America.
ME: Whoa! Not expecting this at all. Ashley didn't deserve her fate this early. But I figure when it comes to the hot Latina chicks, she splits the votes with the equally uninspiring Michelle Delamor. Both are smokin', but the hotness scale tips towards Delamor. Don't worry, Lacey Brown will go next week and you'll have your vengeance.
TB: Joe Munoz, I could care less about, but just the fact that it was between him and Tim Urban and Tim Urban got off the hook is truly horrific. I get it. He's pretty. But even he was shocked he got to stay. Joe Munoz, like Ashley Rodriguez, not great, but certainly not the worse. America saw a pretty face and fell for it. I'm not mad. Just disappointed.
ME: Joe Munoz's crime was having Peter Gallagher eyebrows. Sayonara Joe, it's sad to see you leave.
TB: The question of Alex Lambert or Tyler Grady might as well have been decided by flipping a coin. Really couldn't care either way. I'm just so upset about Tim Urban. Did I mention that? I will not stop until he is off my TV and in a Macy's catalog.
ME: Tyler didn't really want it. I think he needs to go back to the dorm room where can rip the bong, pound the skins and hit on half-conscious chicks with his pseudo-'70s vibe. Being on TV should get him laid for six months at least.
We like American Idol. Too much.
Tommy Button: I didn't watch last night as much as I rubbernecked. The men were demoted to boys after the first round made them her bitch. Thank God there were a few Alpha Dogs to lead the pack, otherwise this woulda been a complete waste of time. The whole show was all over the place. I didn't know what the fuck I was watching.
Molly Eichel: This was straight up embarrassing. For all my talk yesterday about how the girls didn't bring it, I would have kept my mouth shut if I had known they would put the boys to shame. The worst part is, there is no Angela Martin to mourn for; no one I thought who should have made Top 24 but didn't. I'm worried for Season 9. I truly am.
Todrick Hall "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson
TB: 'A' for effort and thats about it. Probably 'A-.'
ME: I like Todrick, he's got spunk and style and I'm excited to see what he does next. But he's more of a hyphenate, then just a singer. Don't listen to the haters that say he's going home.
Aaron Kelly "Here Comes Goodbye" by Rascal Flatts
TB: Someone get this kid some ProActiv. I heard Jessica Simpson uses it, so you know its good. If Kevin Covais can land a role in College then Aaron Kelly is set for life. I really liked him a lot but Simon's right, kiddo needs to grow some sack. Stop saying 'thank you' for starters and get some smaller shirts.
ME: Blech, seriously? He could have taken it all if he had just waited a couple years instead of trying to push his voice farther than a 16-year-old should. This was like when Peter Brady's balls dropped in The Brady Bunch and all of a sudden he could sing.
TB: Right. but you can say that about any of the youngens in the group. I hope his voice hasnt fully matured seeing that he is only 16. You're right, he won't win or anything but he'll pull in some grandmas and 13-year-old girls that don't recognize that he's gay. I'm just saying he showed up some people with 10 years experience on him and thats impressive.
Jermaine Sellers "Get Here" by Oleta Adams
TB: I hope the steam punk pallbearer outfit was supposed to be some sick joke about him digging his own grave. I thought the worst was over when he finished singing but it really all went to hell when he asked "Who is Michael?"
ME: Ellen said she liked his look but I think that's because she was only imagining herself in that outfit and she would look fantastic in a top hat and tails.
Tim Urban "Apologize" by One Republic
TB: It is too late to apologize, good sir.
ME: Yes, he's terrible, and Vote for the Worst is giving him a kiss of death endorsement of the likes of Jermaine Sellers and John Park. But he looks like a boy I had a crush on in high school and I figure that's how most people vote so I'm down with Tim. Odd how they talked about how Time got a second chance call from the Idol producers but never mentioned Chris Golightly, the corkscrewed-haired boy bander who got the boot for a previous contract. Or because Tim Urban has better hair. You be the judge.
Joe Munoz "You and I both" by Jason Mraz
TB: Well after the previous train wreck, this guy sounded okay. And the way things have been going, okay is a helluva compliment. Talk about great field position. He could have sung the alphabet and my ears would have thought it was genius after the Tim Urban massacre.
Tyler Grady "American Woman" by the Guess Who
TB: Leather Pants-Neckerchief Horseface was about as cool as the nickname I just gave him. Speaking, of horses, he keeps beating this neo-hippie dead horse . Audition for Hair already or try something new.
ME: I hate to say it, y'know who would have killed this song? Adam Lambert. Know who didn't kill this song? Tyler Grady.
Lee Dewyze Charsing Cars by Snow Patrol
TB: He sells paint and is about as fun as watching it dry.
ME: I know Lee Dewyze! Oh wait, no, he's just every seemingly sensitive, but secretly date-rapey, guy who brings his guitar to parties and makes panties drop with every poor rendition of "Stairway to Heaven." Five to 10 days later, the symptoms start and the party ain't so grand.
John Park "God Bless the Child"
TB: The whole thing seemed a little awkward. The song. The chat with Ryan. In fact, this is so awkward I don't want to talk about it anymore. Hey, look over there! It's Big Mike! He's back!
ME: A standard? Christ. Idiot.
Michael "Big Mike" Lynch "This Love" by Maroon 5
TB: Let's talk about the elephant in the room. Big Mike's pit stains. They're the size of dinner plates. I know it's nerve racking and they're under the lights, but really, if you plan on doing some pointing just be conscious. Now that's out the way ... He did liven up the room but it still wasn't that good. When he gets through to next week, he needs to thank the sucky people around him.
ME: I loved this performance. This is what good Top 12 performances are about: getting the crowd going. He also removed everything I hate about this song (i.e. the lead singer of Maroon 5's voice) and replaced it with elements I like (i.e. his voice).
Alex Lambert "Wonderful World" by James Morrison
TB: The last thing I would want after a clusterfuck like that is a hug from Kara. I feel like he might have seen into my soul the way he was staring into that camera.
Casey James "Heaven" by Bryan Adams
TB: Jesus. I haven't seen eye-fucking like that on TV since Johnny Carson and Dean Martin. I need a cigarette.
ME: Maybe it's the Olympics that has spurred my love for Canuck Bryan Adams, but I was no Casey James fan before this performance. Fantastic. Also: Whoever taught him about conditioner is a genius.
Andrew Garcia "Sugar, We're Going Down" by Fall Out Boy
TB: I wanna say that this is just the anger from the Fall Out Boy song selection that's speaking, but I didn't really enjoy Andrew. I love him and it's hard to see him not be his best. But you know what, I'd vote from him if I didn't DVR the show.
ME: I wasn't so upset about the song choice. I figure Andrew's got Top 12 in the bag, if not Top 5. Why not save the magic for when it really counts?
TB: Ellen kind of stumbled through that episode. She should just limit herself to one-liners. She has a talk show. Ellen chats you up and makes you feel awesome, not tell you how crappy you are. It's almost not fair for her having to placate douche after douche. It's depressing. I'm still gunna cut her some slack. It's her first season and she isn't on the steady diet of Cherry Vodka and pills that Paula was. It wasn't just her though, everyone was terrible. Simon was pissy in a bad way. Randy wasn't even laughing at how bad everyone was. Ellen looked like the fat kid on field day. And it's not like I give shit at all about what Kara says but when you got an awkward Ellen, an angry Simon and a blasÃ© Dawg, it makes everything that much worse.
ME: These are the shows when I really miss Paula. When the performances are boring, you could at least count on P-Abs to say something ridiculous or least wear something ludicrous (well, this ep, Kara had that covered). I'm not opposed to American Idol doping. I'm just saying.
We like American Idol. Too much.
Tommy Button: Last night was ladies' night in Hollywood so you know what that means ... standard text messaging rates do apply. Rawr. The girls were seriously bringin' in da noise and bringin' in da funk despite the ridiculous set. I forgot how bad the stage is for this portion of the show. There's the weird screensaver background and lights that make the whole thing look like a Bar Mitzvah dance floor. It's nice to see that me and Simon are in agreement about it being a girls year but handsy people tend to think alike.
Molly Eichel: I'm going to have to disagree with you Tommy. For all the talk to a girls' year, this was a particularly weak show. Not to say that everyone was as terribly as Lacey Brown vocals-wise but the song choices were disastrous. C'mon, Alicia Keyes? That never works well. Have these girls never watched the show before?
Paige Miles "All Right Now" by Free
ME: I had hope for Paige, especially because they seemed to be handicapping black female vocalist (see: ANGELA MARTIN) and we hadn't seen much of her. I think she was nervous, but nerves tend equal mediocrity at best and shitshow at worst. This was just aw'ite. She could handle the big notes but she lost it in the chorus.
Ashley Rodriguez "Happy" by Leona Lewis
ME: I loved Ashley when I first saw her. Totally cute, nice voice. But she keeps sliding downhill for me. Pick it up Ashley, because you look great in heels.
Janell Wheeler "What About Love" by Heart
TB: And the trophy for 'Worst Place' goes to Janell Wheeler. Molly got it right with the whole white girl thing. This girl is about as exciting as a glass of milk. Her song was way too big for Babysitters Club over there. What's most frustrating about the whole Janell Wheeler thing isn't just that she should really be Angela Martin, but is that the judges all seem to really like her. I do not see what the fuss is about. She is by no means any American's Idol. But hey, "former contestant on American Idol" will look great on your Match.com profile.
ME: Janell Wheeler right now up on top of My List of Reprehensible People List alongside High School Musical's Ashley Tisdale and Hilary Swank. They're not bad people at heart, but all of their creative output makes me want to commit random acts of violence. Viva Angela Martin, down with White Girl Extraordinaire.
Lilly Scott "Fixing a Hole" by the Beatles
TB: Lilly Scott was a close second when it comes to faves. She had an interesting song choice which means she's probably an interesting person, but she could have fooled me. She has a sweet voice but I can't decide whether I like her or not. I need a little more. Right now she seems like she's just trying to fit in with what she thinks people want. Lilly Scott is one of those contestants that will swear up and down she is only being herself on that stage but unless I get something else, I probably won't believe her.
ME: Totally digging White Storm as well (or Baby GaGa, depending on your nickname preference). But here's my problem with Lilly: She picked a song few people actually know. Yeah, she did a nice job but come outta nowhere, talking about how you lived in a car Jewel-style, I need a crazy balls out performance with a recognizable song. People aren't going to vote for her if they can't remember what songs she's singing. But then again, she has the power to change the weather, so she's got that going for her.
Katelyn Epperly "Oh Darlin'" by the Beatles
ME: She looked straight up prostitute last night, like a street walker with an Oxy habit.
Haeley Vaugh "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" by the Beatles
TB: Just realized I've been spelling Haeley Vaughn's name wrong this whole time. I'm pretty sure that means I'm not qualified to be saying anything right now. But I am positive that outfit was terrifying. It seemed like something out of a Roman Polanksi's closet. I thought she probably did as good as she ever has before but for the first time I was a little creeped out watching. Maybe it was the outfit, the body glitter or the mouth the size of a Sarlacc but I wasn't really feeling it. I hope next week that country strut comes back.
ME: We all know I'm on Team Haeley 2012, and at first I dug this performance. But the more I've let is marinate, all I can think about is those ridic high notes she tried to hit, which ended up just sounding like she was the best actress in some community theater musical. I like that she switched up the song, but I need the twang turned way, way up for this to work. Don't fail me now Black Carrie Underwood. And, oh god, her mouth is huge. But the nose ring story? A-fuckin-dorable.
Lacey Brown "Landslide" by Stevie Nicks
ME: I never really get along with crazy colored hair girl, but I had love for Allison Iraheta last season, 'cause that girl had pipes and said hilariously inappropriate things on live television. But she used up all my love. And now Lacey Brown is on my shit list. She couldn't handle this song. All I gotta say is leave it to Stevie. The Wispy Witch of the West put a lock on this song and the chubby one from the Dixie Chicks turned the key. So. Just leave it. Also: WHY IS ANGELA MARTIN NOT IN THE TOP 24. WHY? WHHHHYYYYYYY?
Michelle Delamor "Fallin'" by Alicia Keyes
ME: Forehead slap. Super hot. Still. Forehead slap.
Didi Benami "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson
ME: One of my faves of the evening. She's got a really interesting voice and I thought she sang this song exquitely. I don't know why the judges were hating on her so bad but this girl is Top 5 material to me. But just like Lilly Scott, I'm worried about her ability to switch genres. And, she's gonna need to get the audience on her side during her next performance.
Siobhan Magnus "Wicked Games" by Chris Isaak
TB: A wincer for me. Do not like. She seems a little like a cyborg, or whatever Robin Williams was in Bicentennial Man. Her song choice was pretty poor and I was surprised when Simon didn't call it indulgent, because he was pretty in love with that word last night, and Siobhan the Glass Apprentice was fuckin self indulgent. I get why they like her, she kicked as at Stevie but maybe she just got lucky.
ME: Look, I don't know this girl personally, but when she sings, her face looks straight up evil. It's not Bitch Face. That's what Kara has. It's Diabolical Face, like she could be the female Lex Luthor or something. But then she asked what a dark horse and I knew the truth. Instead of Lex Luthor, she's one of those girls that hangs around with Lex Luthor and wears fur coats and holds a small yapping dog and when Superman foils Lex's plan she plays all innocent like she wasn't also trying to take over the world. That being said, I'm glad she didn't do a big song, despite what Randy said, becuase she proved she's just not screamer.
Crystal Bowersox "Hand in My Pocket" by Alanis Morrisette
TB: My favorite of the night was Powersox. If anyone had the odds stacked up against them it was this girl. Just looking at her in the line up you can tell she's a bit the odd man out. Never the less, she hammered it out the park. And I love a good harmonica jam. Typically when it leads in to "Thunder Road" but I'll take this too.
ME: Dude, would you just shit your pants if she sang some Boss? I'm buying some Depends in preparation for how pants shittingly awesome that would be.
TB: Alanis Morissette was kind of a lame choice. If you must sing an Alain Morissette song, it better be the one about fucking Dave Coulier. I don't think she'll make it to the end but you can bet she'll give a few of those Duffyish girls like Lilly Scott a run for their money.
ME: I agree that this was a safe song and not the best choice (my Idol viewing party agreed that "You Learn" would have even been better), but when it comes down to it, Powersox is who I want to listen to the most. But I agree with the judges, she needs to change up those arrangements if she wants to take on GangDad Andrew Garcia, who judging from last night's performance has this in the bag.
Katie Stevens "Feeling Good" by Michael Buble
TB: I was a big Katie Stevens believer in the beginning and as far as her being a Top 5er, I still stand my ground. But maybe I just got excited because she seems like the person who wins this show. Last night, however, she showed some weakness. Poor girl wanted to get up there and kill but instead she left everyone a little confused.
ME: I think the producers were counting on her to bring it home too, the gave her a prime spot. But then she choked. She looked like a little girl wearing her mom's high heels. But I still have faith in Even Stevens. She couldn't hear herself last night and that got the better of her. I'm not worried about her, though. She's got at least Top 7 written ll over her.
TB: Dapper. That is the word I would use to describe Ellen last night. Perfectly dapper. I wonder where she gets her suits. She also is proving to be the positive influence in the group. She made a point to remind everyone that being in the Top 24 means they're great. Although, we would disagree on Janell Wheeler. To be honest, it was a little startling to hear someone sober say it. For their first live run as a quartet everyone was on. Once we get a few weeks in and everyone starts getting pissy with each other, then we'll be in business.
ME: Tommy, did we watch the same show? I thought it was a mess. Kara wasn't paying attention half the time, Ellen couldn't make a concrete criticism for her life (and she revealed that she doesn't really have the vocab to talk about music) and Ryan was teenage-girl-pissy like someone took him off his Midol drip. Let's hope tonight's boys round is a little more on point.
|Screenshot of Izzo from Ronnie's Facebook profile.
There's only so much a guy can do to salvage his dignity after getting the shit kicked out of him on national television. South Jersey's Stephen Izzo Jr., the recipient of a Ronnie beat down on MTV's Jersey Shore (the juicehead took him down in one hit), went to court to stop the season one DVDs from hitting shelves. Izzo's lawyer Eugene M. LaVergne says that Ronnie and the rest of the MTV crew are financially profiting from illegal activity, i.e. Izzo's ass whupping. Don't remember Izzo? He's the dude who started it up with Ronnie for seemingly no reason at all, while girlfriend watched.
Rather than demand the DVDs remove his notorious episode, he wants the whole thing vanquished. Good for you, kid. You got punched once and America thinks you're a loser. Deal with it. The most obvious battle plan should have been to get in on the contract for royalties. He could be making big bucks off the upcoming DVDs just for taking a beating. I would go out of my way for that kind of luck. And if he doesn't really care about money and just wants to repair his reputation, then this kind of scheming is way more respectable in that subversive, stick-it-to-the-man kind of way than what he is actually doing.
The DVDs were slated for release tomorrow, February 23.
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