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TV
Christopher Seybert dishes on the week's best and worst moments in daytime talk.
Fran Drescher, the Beard
What do Fran Drescher, Liza Minnelli, and Katie Holmes (allegedly!) have in common? They have all unknowingly married gay men. Fran Drescher has created a new television series based on this unfortunate happenstance called Happily Divorced. She was on The View Tuesday to promote it.
Drescher married her high school sweetheart, Peter Marc Jacobson, in 1978 and they divorced 21 years later. After the divorce, Peter came out and they have remained best friends. For comedic purposes, the show is a little different than her real life situation, but one question remains: How did she not know? She said in hindsight there were obvious clues — like his meticulous attention to her appearance — but she always attributed it to "metrosexuality." So ladies, if you find yourself in a similar situation, remember you’re not losing a husband; you’re gaining someone who can dress you for the rest of your life!
Someone’s Older than Reeg?
When Kelly Ripa’s away, the oldies will play! The incomparable Betty White was Regis’ co-host on Live! with Regis and Kelly Tuesday. They proved that age (Regis is 79, Betty 89) is just a number because that morning they were the wittiest duo on TV.
CP's Dylan Williams offers a preview of the summer TV season.
True Blood: This supernatural HBO drama, centered around telepathic protagonist Sookie (Anna Paquin) and her romantic misadventures with various vampires and other mythical creatures in the small New Orleans town of Bon Temps, is often scorned as a wannabe Twilight story. And, although the concept for True Blood came about four years before Twilight became a best-seller, the HBO drama has some big Vampiric shoes to fill. So far, it has done the job pretty well. The third season left us thirsty for more sexy, southern vampire shenanigans. Relationships across race, age and mythic species torment the dark and beautiful protagonists, and Paquin’s enticing (and gap-toothed) performance alone sucks many viewers in (pun intended). Season four is said to be loosely based on the fourth book from The Southern Vampire Mysteries (the series upon which the show is based). Sundays beginning June 26, 9 p.m., HBO.
Christopher Seybert dishes on the week's best and worst moments in daytime talk.
Nipplegate 2011
While everyone is talking about New York Congressman Anthony Weiner’s weiner, only one Hollywood family could potentially steal his thunder: the Kardashians. Making the rounds in New York to promote season 6 of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kourtney and Khloe made some news of their own Tuesday morning. At an appearance on Fox & Friends, Khloe’s mesh top shifted, revealing that she was braless.
After some racy tweets between the sisters joking about the nip slip, they showed up to Live! with Regis and Kelly and chatted about it. Kourtney was trying to make Khloe self-conscious, but it didn’t seem to faze her too much, as she jumped over to Regis’ chair and shook her ta-tas. As anyone knows, this could have been a lethal combination: a shimmying Kardashian and a 79-year-old man who’s had triple-bypass surgery. Thankfully, all parties involved escaped unscathed.
Christopher Seybert dishes on the week's best and (mostly) worst moments in daytime talk.
Just a phone call away…
It’s good to have friends in high places. Not that I have any but I’ve heard. Regis Philbin has a lot, though; he just has to remember their names. When news broke that Republican titans Sarah Palin and Donald Trump met in Manhattan on Tuesday, everyone wanted to know the details.
After talking about the story on Live with Regis and Kelly’s Host Chat segment, Kelly was mad that Regis didn’t get the scoop from his good pal, so they could discuss it on the air. This led to an impromptu, on-air call to the Trumpster. He revealed that Palin asked to meet him, they dined at Famous Famiglia Pizzeria, and she played it coy when he asked about her potential 2012 presidential candidacy. Perhaps, a tactic she learned from the Trumpster himself?
Teresa promotes her Fabulicious fight
Like every other American with no life on Monday nights, I tune into The Real Housewives of New Jersey. It brings me back to my Jersey high school cafeteria, when "prostitute" and "whore" were terms of endearment — unless, of course, they're used in the same sentence.
One of the show’s stars, Teresa Giudice, on a nationwide book tour for her second cookbook Fabulicious, stopped by Ellen on Wednesday. Talk quickly shifted to this season’s infamous christening brawl between Teresa and her brother, Joe Gorga. The aftermath will air for the rest of the season, but Teresa told Ellen that watching the footage still upsets her. Ellen generously gave her a bedazzled megaphone to help break up future fights. And if you’ve ever heard Teresa’s voice, you’d know that’s the last thing she needs!
Serving Paris and a side of Kathy
One reason I love The View is because an interview can begin with a compliment of a guest’s Chanel suit and end by accusing the fashionista of murder. Yes, that’s an exaggeration, but you catch my drift.
On Wednesday, Paris Hilton was joined by her Nicole Richie’s replacement, her mother Kathy Hilton, as they promoted their reality show The World According to Paris. After some small talk, the co-hosts skewered Paris on why she was doing a show that paraded her partying and shopping, instead of focusing on her charity work since she’s been trying to shed her party girl image. The answer: They need to appeal to an audience. If that audience is Paris’ collection of pets, then I’d have to say they nailed it!
May is the season for television finales and, as comedies and dramas on a panoply of networks draw to a seasonal close, it seems only appropriate to sum up the goods and bads of this television year.
The Office, chronologically the first of the big four finales of the past two weeks, was a hope-inspiring end to the show’s last season with Steve Carell. I say “hope-inspiring” because the final episodes show that the sitcom’s writers can compensate for the loss. At times, the episode seemed to be over-compensating for the change (with guest appearances by comedy greats like Jim Carey, Will Arnett, and Ray Romano), but the hilarity engendered by most of these appearances (particularly a virtual appearance by Ricky Gervais, who played Steve Carell’s counterpart in the British series) made them well worth it. Flippant and unrepentant, the episode illustrated that, even with Carell’s departure, The Office refuses to shy away from the tongue-in-cheek irony that brought it to the top. (A)
Saturday Night Live seems to have reserved its funniest material for the finale episode, hosted by Justin Timberlake and featuring both musical and sketch performances by Lady Gaga. Although there were few new sketches, the writers re-hashed old favorites to craft a finale both side-splitting and nostalgic. Timberlake was a hilarious host (as always), and showed off his comedic talent in “It’s Okay When It’s in a Three-Way” (a vocal duet with Andy Samberg à la “D*** in a Box”). Gaga’s vocal performance was far from her best (singing and dancing at the same time is freaking hard!), but she absolutely delivered when it came to sketch comedy, dancing backup in “Three Way” and shaming Timberlake in “What’s That Name?”. Gaga and Timberlake were certainly the highlight of this episode; for once, Kristen Wiig (accompanied sometimes by Samberg, Hader, and Armisen) was not forced to carry the comedy of the episode alone. (A-)
Christhopher Seybert dishes on the week's best and worst moments in daytime talk.
OPRAH SAYS TA-TA
I'm dubbing this The Week of Oprah. After 25 years in the gabbing, aha moment-making businesss, The Oprah Winfrey Show aired its last three episodes.
A-list celebrities — everyone from Tom Hanks and Will Smith to Beyoncé to Aretha Franklin — flocked to Chicago to surprise the Queen of Talk on Monday’s and Tuesday’s shows. They performed and spoke about how much Winfrey has impacted their lives — making this two-day extravaganza a testament to her legacy as a lady who has not only influenced a legion of bored housewives but Hollywood's elite, as well.
Wednesday’s finale was just Oprah doing what she does best, having an honest chit chat with her audience. After revealing that her show was her calling, she said, "Everybody has a calling, and your job in life is to figure what that is and get about the business of doing it." She closed with "Until we meet again." A fitting farewell, considering that goodbye would mean she’s gone for good, and we know she ain't leaving anytime soon.
BARBARA WALTERS IS GAGA OVER BARBARA WALTERS
On Monday in New York, Lady Gaga promoted her new album Born This Way on The View. And like she's prone to do, Barbara Walters took credit for Gaga’s career — stating that her 10 Most Fascinating People special was Gaga’s big break. She then went on to praise herself for writing all of Gaga’s songs, choosing her outfits, and being Gaga’s social media strategist. Okay, so maybe Babs didn’t go that far, but she might as well have.
After talking about her Little Monsters, her recent SNL appearance, and being bullied in high school, the biggest shock came at the end when Joy Behar divulged that she and Gaga shared the same gynecologist. Um, that's one for the TMI file.
REGIS THE RUMP SHAKER
On the Wednesday episode of Live! with Regis and Kelly, the new champion of Dancing with the Stars, Hines Ward and his partner Kym Johnson made an appearance. During the interview, Ward, the Pittsburg Steelers’ wide receiver, ranked training for the show as more difficult than NFL training. He and hsi partner then danced their winning samba. After seeing how Hines can shake his hips, Philbin asked him to be his partner for the next season. Now I’d definitely tune in for that ...
This is it, gang. Either Brittani or Molly will be this season’s ANTM princess. But first, it’s shiny dimple Cover Girl commercial time, and both girls are more complex than some pollyanna Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farms: It turns out Molly kicked a drug addiction through rehab, and Brittani lived on welfare as a kid because of her single mom’s anxiety disorder.
After interviews with IMG VP Ivan Bart, the girls did their takes for Cover Girl Lip Perfection with Mr. Jay. Molly had trouble being the sunny girlfriend character, while Brittani delivered a friendly performance after an initial nervous take.
The photo shoot was very different from cycles past. Cover Girl is going edgy, so instead of smizing at some imaginary person above left, both girls stared icily into the lens. Next was their Beauty In Vogue shoot with photographer Pierpaolo Ferrari. Pierpaolo and a Vogue Italia stylist thought Brittani was very professional, while Molly was pissy about the cold, and they said she lacked energy.
After the shoot, Molly was surprised by her parents at Dar Doukkala. She was overjoyed, but Brittani’s mom couldn’t be there because of her anxiety and recent back surgery. She was a little blue, but got to video chat with her.
Every Thursday our pop-culture critic Bianca Brown gives a catty, smile-with-your-eyes lowdown on cycle 16 of America's Next Top Model.
This week Brittani gloated that Alex the “drama-bitch” is gone. Molly keeps bitching about being adopted. Lara Spencer from The Insider (poor man’s E! News) tells the models they’ll do a 90-second live shot about a fashion trend in Morocco. They were each paired with an expert on their item and had to find a English-speaking Moroccan to interview.
Brittani did a cool shot of henna designs, interviewed a Moroccan man who said “Yes" and nothing else, and was cut off two seconds before she finished. Molly was more professional with black kohl. She didn’t sign off, but wasn’t cut off mid-sentence. Hannah was bubbly about arman oil, but talked too much and ignored her expert. Molly won the challenge. Hannah got weepy and felt she won the challenge “in her heart.” Um, ok.
Tyra visited Dar Doukkala to chat with the girls. Molly cried about being adopted, Brittani revealed that her mom is agoraphobic and Hannah was just chillin’. Tyra photographed the girls with eye designs and taught them how to isolate body parts during photo shoots. Then they all did a dance with Moroccan drummers in tasseled beanies. Say what you will, Tyra Banks seems like a lot of fun.
Photo shoot on the beach! Nigel Barker shot the models in Moroccan wedding dresses complete with henna tattoos and a sexy male model named Younes. Brittani wasn’t comfy being sexy so she chose a breakup narrative and cried for her photos. Hannah tried to be Actors’ Studio, but that’s not for everyone, and her photos were a little posed.
Every Wednesday, Ryan Carey tackles a different topic relating to the contemporary pop culture scene. This week, he takes a look at our generation's "celebrities" and the the stupid things they do to stay in the spotlight.
The old model of celebrity was one of veneration. Hollywood stars from the '40s were larger-than-life heroes that we looked up to — the role models epitomizing coolness or strength or glamour. Musicians of the '70s wrote the soundtracks of peoples' lives. Television stars of the '90s were emulated for their wit or courage. We were inspired by all these folks and held debts of gratitude for their positive impact in our lives. Now, celebrities are people we haven't met but who we know just enough about that it's extra funny when they fall on their face.
Dancing With the Stars is the inverse of a show like American Idol. Idol's entertainment springs from watching the extremes. Both the most pathetic and most amazing unknown singers vie to skip the long career arch, going straight to famous. The middle, the people who are just okay, are left out. Idol may be a celebration of creative complacency — a glorified karaoke bar — but at least it provides a real product.
Dancing With the Stars is purely a leverage-gala for TMZ and other celebrity gossip magnets. The competition format of DWTS couldn't exist if the contestants were regular folks, the same way nobody but you would watch TMZ if they were stalking your dentist. Dancing With The Tax Preparers would flunk faster than the XFL because there'd be no pre-existing relationship between the viewers and the contestants. Notice how everyone from So You Think You Can Dance is so amazing? It's like they're from another planet. Notice how the only thing amazing about Marie Osmond is that you've heard of her?
The models are still basking in lovely Marrakech, and Alex is pegged as the surfer girl, but she’s a little (or way) too emo for that. Why does sweet Hannah never stand out? Her face is spritely and her pigtails are adorbs, but at the end of the last couple episodes, she’s been overshadowed. Bring some drama, already.
Miss J was the Ghost of TopMod go-sees, and the first stop was Vogue Italia EIC, Franca Sozzani. Over tea she glanced at each woman’s portfolio and asked about their goals and aspirations. Brittani stood out while Alex was superficially charming. Next, the girls were tutored by a bellydancer on the art of swaying your hips with a tea tray on your head. I wasn’t really feeling this, and it was a tad pointless. Later the models donned glitzy costumes and danced for a bunch of strangers. Molly tripped and frowned for the rest of her dance. Alex pulled out some moves and got a group clap going, but was overzealous and dropped her tray. Brittani improvised a cool dance and kept her tray afloat. Oh, Hannah did alright.
Brittani won the challenge and chose Hannah for her runway coaching with Miss J, who wore a rather dashing man-skirt. The girls stopped at a food stand with goat heads, eyeballs, and brains. Al Grosso! Brittani got queasy from the brains, skipped dinner, and didn’t feel any better in the morning.
Renowned fashion photographer Friedemann Haus shot the models in guest judge Daniella Issa Helayel’s designs in an outdoor market. Hannah had difficulty evoking the story and overposed. Molly performed well and Mr. Jay told Alex to chill out this time, and she was not happy about getting lectured. She didn’t talk back this week, but kept pouting her lips. Brittani did a whole Actors’ Studio thing and pretended she had arrived at her destination after the desert voyage from last week’s shoot.
At panel, Alex was finally sent home for her lackluster performance. Next week Brittani sheds tears and Andre Leon Tally is totally turned off.
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