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Jar Bar Bizarre
Adam Erace on the not too shocking shuttering of juice joint Jar Bar.
Jar Bar Bizarre
So Jar Bar closed, and here's why I'm not surprised. The raw foods cafe and juice bar in Midtown Village also functioned as a retail outlet for the Catalyst Cleanse system, a program I tried to undertake a couple months ago in the pursuit of an amusing column and trimmer bod. The first time I hit up the clementine awning-ed storefront was nearly half an hour before its listed closing time, but the sole staffer inside had already locked the doors and was mopping the floor. I rapped on the window, and he stared at me with the vacant gaze of someone whose had nothing but wheatgrass for a week. I held up my phone to the glass, showing him the hours listed on the Yelp page. He shrugged. I left.
I came back the following morning, bright and early for opening. You see, trying to fit a three-day juice cleanse into a restaurant critic's schedule is like trying to fit in a yoga retreat into a bachelor party weekend in Las Vegas, so timing was critical. If I didn't begin the cleanse that day, I'd have to put it off another month. Two juicers were setting up their stations at the counter and seemed perplexed by my presence. (Did anyone ever go here??) I explained that I wanted to purchase the three-day Catalyst Cleanse. They looked at me with wheatgrass faces as if I'd just said I wanted to purchase a zebra. I explained again, slowly, to which one replied, "Oh, we don't sell that here."
Though it didn't explain it very well (or at all) on the website, apparently you had to pre-order the Cleanse, which would then be shipped to Jar Bar, where you would then pick it up. Which made little logistical sense. Do I sound cranky and bitter? I'm sorry. It's the ten extra pounds talking. Jar Bar robbed me of ridding them, and I've needed to go up a jeans size for the first time since 2001. Thanks a lot.
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