Just 'cause we like food doesn't mean we like everything ...
I sent an email to the Meal Ticket staff to find out what foods they hate the most, also asking for any stories or reasons behind the hatred.
Just 'cause we like food doesn't mean we like everything ...
Recently, Twitter had a collective heart attack about the fact that I don't like mayonnaise. Every single person that follows me pounced on me about my disdain. (Total exaggeration: It was mostly Drew Lazor and Scott Schroeder of South Philly Tap Room, plus two or three others.) I did everything I could to defend myself, but they would not relent. It was terrifying.
I actually ended up trying some mayo from SPTR (see right) — Schroeder had his grandma's tomato/mayo sandwich on the menu, and after his mayo-based rage, I thought it best to try and appease him. I just couldn’t get into it. The flavor of this particular mayo was so much better than the jarred stuff, but the texture was nearly the same.
As I sat there, wondering how I had brought this upon myself, I realized how unfair it was. I know plenty of people who have weird dislikes. My boyfriend hates mushrooms (I think that's insane). Adam Erace strangely dislikes olives (seriously, Adam?). I could not let this fly. So I sent an email to the Meal Ticket staff to find out what foods they hate the most, also asking for any stories or reasons behind the hatred.
Chicken and veal livers. I tried to like them so many times. They've got a weird spongy texture and strong iron-y blood flavor. It’s too intense.
Raw onions. One of my first and only negative food memories is being in second grade and the lunch room monitor forcing me to eat an Italian hoagie that had a lot of raw onions on it (I wasn't allowed to leave the table). I am super-sensitive to alliums (onions, garlic) and it was a traumatizing experience. I've tried to appreciate the raw onion as an adult to no avail. I just can't taste around the very hot, bitter, and above all long-lasting flavor of the raw allium. Cooked, I love them, though.
Tripe. Come on, it's freaking intestines! They taste like poop and you can't say different.
Grape jelly — and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Worst combination ever! Not into grape-flavored anything, and who invented the PB&J? It's such a cloying, sticky and heavy sandwich. Never really liked it. PB & banana with a little honey is a different story.
Pears. I don’t like pears! Asian or Anjou or otherwise. I am racist against pears. I don't like the annoying texture, it feels synthetic to me.
Bitter melon. AKA ampalaya, which is the Filipino name for it. My mom, who's from the Philippines, would cook it constantly growing up and try to convince me, my dad, my sister and sometimes my dog that it was good. It is not. It is disgusting and tastes like vegetal earwax. It's gotten kinda popular recently in food circles because it's super good for you, but I don't care — ampalaya tastes like total bunghole and I refuse to eat it in any context.
Mayo. l'll eat homemade mayo and aioli, and if it’s in something like a sauce or a crabcake, but a thick smear from a big jar of milky-white Hellman's makes me queasy just looking at it.
Dill pickles. We've been over this.
Olives. I've never liked them, but years of bartending made it worse. Every time I reached for one to garnish a martini the smell of the juice would seep into my fingernails and no amount of washing would get it out.
Hoagies with tons of shit on them.
Raw clams. Weird because I love raw oysters, but not clams.
Jelly beans. Too sweet, too fakey tasting. Fun Erace Fact: Me and my brother Andrew used to tell my dad (a diabetic who eats anything sweet) that Jelly Belly popcorn-flavored beans were banana and piss ourselves after he would eat them and freak out.
Papaya. Dried papaya is fine, but something about the flavor of the fresh stuff reminds me of feet.
Grape soda. I hate anything grape-flavored. I like grapes and grape juice, though.
Raw tomatoes. Slimy texture.
Cucumbers. I like pickles, though.
Most root vegetables. I do like potatoes; not sweet potatoes, though, or potato salad.
Deviled eggs/pickled eggs. Color/smell/mushy texture is just not appealing and very unappetizing to me.
Cheese that comes from a can. Does this even need a reason? It's just wrong.
Vodka martinis. It's gotta be gin (don't judge me for classifying this as a food). Vodka is the American cheese of alcohol. Why would you waste your time with it when there are so many other better options? It lacks flavor and character. Any adult caught drinking something that's cherry/watermelon/cotton candy-flavored should be ashamed.
Italian hoagies made with bologna. What are they thinking?! I assume people use this because it resembles Mortadella, but it tastes nothing like it. I don't really even know what bologna is honestly, but it has no business being on anything that's labeled Italian.
Olives. I'll eat them in a sauce, like puttanesca.
Raw cherry/grape tomatoes. But I like every other type of tomato, raw or cooked.
Dried Shrimp. Used in a lot of Asian cooking to flavor soups, sticky rice, noodles, etc. My grandmother uses it and it was the one thing I hated as a kid; still do today.
Cooked oatmeal. I will eat it toasted/raw, as in granola or in a crisp, crumble or cookie.
Chicken feet. Give me brains, marrow or sweetbreads. I'll eat those, but the texture of feet I can't do.
Garbanzo beans. The texture is just weird. It’s grainy and feels crumbly in my mouth. And no, I don’t like chickpeas either (get it?).
Hummus. For pretty much the same reasoning as the garbanzo beans. Plus it tastes dirty and sour. Don’t judge me.
Mayo. My friend worked in a bakery for a little and said she had to switch gallons of mayo into those giant mixing bowls (what was a bakery even doing with that much mayo??). I hate the way it sits in your mouth and coats it with a greasy film and nothing can get it out, not even brushing your teeth.
Canned or jarred gefilte fish. It's so bland. I have a great story about my great-grandmother keeping a carp alive in the bathtub to make it. It's also slimy and gray and it smells weird.
Roasted red peppers. So slimy. My sister used to take cooking classes and she’d make them at home. I haaaad to eat them. Swallowing them was so difficult.
So there ya have it — things we don’t like. I hope you all saw some trends, because I did (including some stuff I didn't mention because the hate isn’t strong enough for me to mention). What about you guys? What do you hate?
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