SNACK TIME: Thomas Jefferson, American food freak, the War for Food-ipendence, doctor-prescribed decadence, PUT DOWN THAT BACON, virtual subway markets, and Arby's doesn't make the cut
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SNACK TIME: Thomas Jefferson, American food freak, the War for Food-ipendence, doctor-prescribed decadence, PUT DOWN THAT BACON, virtual subway markets, and Arby's doesn't make the cut

Note: I'm not really patriotic. That’s not to say I'm a bad American, but can you blame me? My mom's British and my dad's a misplaced Swiss German. I have no real past in America besides my relatives, who came over during WWII. So this is my way of commemorating America — just a few days after July 4 — with articles about the beginnings of America’s food origins. And some other stuff.
- Thomas Jefferson, America’s original food dude, traveled extensively to research other cultures' food, as detailed in this Salon piece. While I admire him to the fullest for his food expertise and activism, I call into question his hypocritical feelings toward his slaves — after all, they're the ones who did all his actual growing, cooking and brewing.
- Apparently, America owes its independence to the food eaten by the soldiers during the war, as provided by local farmers. Without them, we’d still be shit out of luck/still a colony. Granted, the food they ate wouldn’t be great for commemorating July 4 (mmm, dried meat and flour cakes), but at least we've got modern-day barbecue and hot dogs to supplement.
- It's called "gourmand syndrome," and it's for real, just like restless leg syndrome. The disorder is characterized by "a preoccupation with food and a preference for fine dining." That's all of us, right? Wrong: The syndrome can apparently cause obsession so great that it can lead to career change (not so bad) or eating disorders (bad). Still, it'd be cool to get your health insurance provider to cover all your food expenses, wouldn't it? "No, seriously. I need to eat all this expensive cheese. Doctor's orders."
- A Clifton Heights grandmother sat on her grandson and sprayed him full-on in the face with a garden hose for eating too much bacon at breakfast. We all know bacon is delicious, amazing and peculiarly versatile, but it is worth torturing your loved ones?
- South Koreans can now do all their grocery shopping while waiting for the subway. Huh? Home Plus (the British supermarket chain Tescoe) has created virtual grocery stores in subterranean SK. All customers gotta do is scan product barcodes with their smartphones and the groceries are delivered straight to their doors. It's funny: the west is advocating for slow food and the east is all about getting it done fast. Will we ever reach a happy medium?
- Wendy’s has sold off Arby’s to a private equity firm. To this I say: good. Has anyone else noticed a decline in the quality of Arby's roast beef since Wendy’s acquired them in 2008? The stuff's become so flimsy. Hopefully the quality will come back. I miss original Arby's. Sadface.
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