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| Exhibits A though Ugh. |
| Photo l Felicia D'Ambrosio |
Exhibit A: My gloriously seared Cannuli Bros. pork shank, waiting to be returned to the pot to be braised.
Exhibit B-squad: A box of pink Franzia "wine" left at my house from an all-girl photo shoot. No, I will not tell you that story.
Exhibit C-list: A bottle of Holland House red-dyed "cooking wine" purchased at the Acme by my well-meaning but misguided boyfriend.
White Trash Dilemma: I'm braising this pork shank with ingredients culled only from the pantry and fridge. A can of crushed tomatoes, red pepper flakes, a few fresh bulbs of garlic and fennel, and we're in business. The recipe calls for red wine to make up the rest of the braising liquid, and Exhibits B and C are all we have on hand. It's cold and I'm not driving to the liquor store for six ounces of wine, and for the first time ever, we have no beer.
Which of these two losers do I use? The boxed wine is at least real alcohol, and has this fun tap on it, so it won't be nasty and oxidized. But it's box wine. And it's pink. How embarassing. The Holland House swill is 100 percent fakeness, and tastes like your drunk uncle's morning breath. Oh vomit, I just grossed myself out.
Stuck between a box and a hard place... which one would you use?
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