Delicious or Suspicious: McDonald's McCafe Smoothie

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Delicious or Suspicious: McDonald's McCafe Smoothie

POSTED: Friday, September 3, 2010, 4:42 PM

Filed Under: Product Placement | Testing

Photo | Adam Erace

Drink me

I was driving in the Jerz when I first saw the billboard for McDonald's new McCafe Smoothies. My reaction was that of a lovesick Loony Toon, jaw dropping to the ground, tongue unraveling like a spool of Bubble Tape across the floor. Can you blame me? Look at how goddamn dewy those berries are! How the fruit fraps wear shades of deep pink and purple not seen since the Lost Boys banquet in Hook! Must ... drink ... now ... Before putting the McDonalds Smoothie to the Delicious or Suspicious test, I remembered that the last time Id eaten under the Golden Arches was probably two years ago, with a horrendous hangover being the likely cause. What is it about the flat, fatty cheeseburgers that bring me back to the land of the living, every single time? The secret, I suspect, is the poo. But I digress. There are many, many reasons you should not eat at McDonalds, but a good chunk of the American population does, because, like Britney Spears, it is both cheap and available. Mickey Ds Smoothies, which come in Strawberry-Banana and Wildberry flavors, are part of Ronalds wannabe-Starbucks McCafe line, as well as a corporate-wide push toward healthier (or at least what appear to be healthier) options. "Real Fruit Smoothies" is their full name, a qualifier of wholesomeness which begs the question: What kind of fruit is going in the apple pies? From behind the strategically obscured McCafe barista station at the Columbus and Reed Mickey Ds, I couldnt decipher just what the pleasant (foreal!) counter gal was putting into my Wildberry Smoothie. Fortunately, website reveals all: low-fat yogurt, ice, strawberry puree, water, sugar, blackberry puree, blueberry puree, concentrated pineapple juice, concentrated apple juice, plus "less than 1%" of cellulose powder, xanthan gum, colored with fruit and vegetable juice, natural (botanical source) and artificial flavors, pectin, citric acid.

Photo | Adam Erace

You're looking very purply today.

Delicious or Suspicious verdict: You know what? The gogo-purple puree tasted good a little like liquefied Gushers perhaps, but right frosty and refreshing. The berries arent local, and the cow responsible for the yogurt was probably treated about as well as Halle Berry during the David Justice years. But its McDonald's, not McMiracles, and at 210 calories for a small guy compare that to 550 in the McCafe Caramel Frappe, for example Id certainly rather put that in my body than a lot of other things in Ronalds house. (Thats what Grimace said!) Thus, I declare the McCafe Smoothie Delicious, but conditionally so. It's cheaper and more healthful to make smoothies at home, but should you find yourself cruising the great highways of the USA this summer and you're suddenly struck by the irresistible craving for blended fruit and yogurt, well, then be my guest. You could do a lot worse.

SamJ

Posted 2010-09-07 10:03:57

Was wondering about this myself. What's more, I think I've been suffering from a xanthan gum deficiency lately, so perhaps I will give it a try...

poncho

Posted 2010-09-04 17:34:31

Awesome write up - this almost makes me want to go to McDonald's.

I hope we see more "Delicious or Suspicious" on Meal Ticket, it's one of my favs!

Posted by Adam Erace @ 4:42 PM Permalink | Post a comment

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Founded in October 2008, Meal Ticket is a City Paper blog about food, drink and assorted other things that make you go mmm. We do recipes, interviews, restaurant news, commentary and much more. We don't do restaurant reviews here — those are handled in print, mostly by our critic (and Meal Ticket contributor) Adam Erace. Got a tip, question, thought or concern? Just want to say hello? Please shoot a note to caroline@citypaper.net.

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