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Top Chef Masters Episode 4: Tell me why, NPH ... TELL ME WHY
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Top Chef Masters Episode 4: Tell me why, NPH ... TELL ME WHY
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The question that ate at me throughout last night's Masters episode was not culinary in nature: Am I gonna have to like Neil Patrick Harris less now that I know he's a hardcore MAGIC ENTHUSIAST? I'm leaning toward yes, and that breaks my damn heart. I love Doogie. I love Harold & Kumar. I love How I Met Your Mother. I even kinda like that Dr. Horrible singing jawn even though I usually mark most Joss Whedon-tainted things with my red rubber douche stamp. Why, why, why must you possess such a sincere and dedicated interest in the lame-ass art of illusion, NPH?! You've liked it ever since you were 10 or 11, foreal? You're really BFF with Ed Alonzo? Can't you just be into perverted cinema or awards hosting like so many of the other famous gay men I admire?
I am filled with NPH-brand ennui, and the only thing that can get me out of my funk is a screening of Undercover Brother.
The actual cooking part of last night's episode was OK.
The latest foursome (two more eps to go till the six finalist slots are filled): Douglas Rodriguez, exec chef of Alma de Cuba here in Phily as well as many other Nuevo Latino spots in the states; Anita Lo, the no-nonsense woman behind NY's Annisa and Rickshaw Dumpling Bar; NOLA's John Besh, who may actually rival Rick Bayless in Ilovetohearmyselftalkitude; and Mark Peel, of L.A.'s opulent Campanile.
Quickfire: Cook eggs with one hand behind your back, monkeys! (How did the albumen-crazed Wylie Dufresne not draw this one?) Rodriguez rightly calls the task a "circus act," and rocks out with one paw to the tune of an open-faced arepa with scrambled eggs and ham. Peel, whose father was actually born with one arm (I feel like this QF should've offended him, knowing that), somehow pulls off a fresh duck egg pasta with a single hand, which was truly impressive. Lo uses one of those cutty tools to pop the top off her eggs, refilling them with a shiitake scramble flavored with truffle oil and oyster sauce. Besh underestimates how long it'll take for his eggs to cook inside teeny casserole dishes and ends up earning what I believe is the lowest Masters dish score to date � half a star. Oof! Anita's dish impresses the judges' panel � which includes Gail S, eyyy girl � so much that she takes the first challenge with a perfect 5.
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Elimination: A magician named Max Maven (right) comes in wearing an outfit from the Ra's Al Ghul Pajama Collection (now @ Sears) and instructs the cheftestants to draw cards. Using some sort of trick that didn't really seem that impressive in the context of TV, he assigns each chef an adjective pertaining to magic � mystery! surprise! spectacle! illusion! wackness! � and tells them they must create a dish conveying this concept for NPH, a dude who I assume is his boyfriend (they didn't ID him as much though ... weak Bravo!) and Alonzo, the magician you know best as Max, owner of The Max, from Saved by the Bell. This got me thinking about all all the small furry animals � birds, rabbits, etc. � Max would produce out of thin air on the reg when talking to Zach and them. I bet the entire kitchen of that place was teeming with filthy free-roaming critters. You can't have a damn magic bunnies behind the line! Health code violation! Shut The Max down!
Tom C. checks in with the chefs in the kitchen of the Magic Castle ("It feels like Hogwarts," says Lo), where they're serving the guests and judges. He leaves too soon. See you in August, Tom C. Peel, who draws "Mystery," puts Tai snapper, and shrimp/garlic mash and stewed leeks into a parchment paper bag tied with a string. "So delicate," coos NPH. Aw c'mon, Barney's not supposed to talk like that. SUIT UP. Besh, working with "Surprise," asks NPH to hold a vat of liquid nitrogen to prepare a creme fraiche and horseradish sorbet tableside. He uses it to top a cucumber and salmon roe salad, while the rest of his plate features salmon tartare and tempura-fried lobster wrapped in smoked salmon. Lo, who has to convey "Illusion," creates a nifty preparation meant to mimic a scallop, using braised daikon stuffed with steak tartare. NPH LOVES IT. Rodriguez, who's assigned "Spectacle" (the perfect thing for dude since his cooking is ballsy/unexpected), does duck in four separate preparations, including one that involves a duck soup served in a flaming coconut. Problem is that he doesn't have any 151 to get the fiery effect going, so he smears the 'nuts up with Sterno gel with lackluster results.
At the judges' table, they stick it to Besh because his liquid nitrogen sorbet was too cold. (It was prepared with liquid nitrogen, guys.) Gael Greene likens Lo's faux scallop "a surrealistic painting," and the rest of the panel is also very complimentary about it. Rodriguez is docked for poor execution, and Besh can't recover from the brutal .5 Quickfire, so it comes down to Peel and Lo, whose dishes were both admired by the panel. Lo ends up with an impressive 22.5, beating out Peel's 18.5 for a spot in the final challenge.
I still can't come to terms with the fact that NPH loves magic so much.
Next week: Hey famous chefs, make a three-course dinner for 100 people with absolutely no help.
I hope that this comment serves a purpose. I found this article via google, and then quickly realized what a terrible, pretentious, and degrading writer you are. Besh is a great chef, and maybe you should pull your head out of your ass before you start railing against chefs, magic, and entertaining TV. Its much better than the dribble you put out
Bob: I never said Besh was not a great chef. Obviously he and all of these chefs are tremendously talented. It's my opinion, however, that he comes off a little cocky on TV and I said so. But am I "railing against" the art of magic with this recap? You got that part absolutely right.
Haha. I think "Bob" might be Ed Alonzo's screen name.
I really enjoyed your article, Mr. Lazor. The producers must have made it a magic episode to create the "illusion" that this cycle of Top Chef is as interesting as the regular season. Bob needs to relax and work on his reading comprehension.
I just don't understand how NPH's love of magic could make you like him less. If anything, it brings me a little closer to my dream of the idealized NPH actually existing.
Molly: My response is to look at that picture of Max Maven for 15-20 seconds.
Was it just me or was Tom C. totally manic? The only magician that could have made this group look cool would be Gob Bluth or should I say "illusionist"
"Ra’s Al Ghul Pajama Collection" - ha! Hilarious. Yet true.
[...] L.A. chef Mark Peel, who competed on Top Chef Masters, has the 15 remaining cheftestants to create a dish using potatoes. No one, not even the [...]
[...] already know how I feel about magic, so let’s just get right into [...]
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