|
|
|
Top Chef Masters Episode 8: (500) Days of Bummer
The Web site for the award-winning alternative weekly, the Philadelphia City Paper.
Top Chef Masters Episode 8: (500) Days of Bummer
 |
Who'd have thought that a well-mannered vegan celiac chanteuse would be the first person to give five world-class chefs pause?
Yes, universally adored emaciated-boy crush object Zooey Deschanel was featured on last night's Top Chef Masters, joining NPH and the dudes from Lost as the latest example of this miniseries' celeb-pulling power. ("I loved her in Elf!" exclaims Art Smith.) And yes, Z is a vegan � and gluten-intolerant and anti-soy. The girl probably has more wispy scarves and vintage berets than she does true meat-eating experiences.
While tasking these bad-ass chefs to create vegan dishes may seem a bit like tasking a philharmonic orchestra to play Jonas Brothers songs � just ain't in their wheelhouse � you gotta admit it's a fascinating, albeit cruel, thing to watch on TV.
Quickfire: So there was one other "celebrity" featured this ep, as well � Super Size Me's Morgan Spurlock, whose over-coiffed handlebar mustache rivals Rick Bayless' goatee as least awesome facial hair ever to appear on Bravo, joined former cheftestant Spike Mendelsohn (D.C.'s Good Stuff Eatery) and Sang Yoon (L.A.'s Father's Office) to judge a burger cook-off between the remaining chefs � Bayless, Smith, Hubert Keller, Anita Lo and Michael Chiarello. (Eating a shitload of McDonald's for a month makes you burger expert? I got nothing.)
Keller, who owns Burger Bar locations in three cities, does a beef/roquefort burger with rustic taters. Bayless serves his with three types of guac � judges hate on it, and he hates on them back all nasal-like ("There's three kinds of guacamole that are very unusual ... they can't even perceive that!"). Chiarello makes a 2.5-pound beast dubbed "hamburguese enorme." Art wraps his patty in a hoecake with fried green tomato chips, while Lo does some Dali-inspired cheese soup that causes Mendelsohn to recoil and compare the burger element to "boiled meat." She gets shafted with 1.5 stars, while Chiarello and Bayless tie up with 4 a pop.
Click here for a joke about Lo that's probably a little more racist than it is topical.
Elimination: In a challenge eerily similar to the plot of every one of Deschanel's movies, the chefs bend to her every whim because she is cute and emits the sweet stench of unattainability when she sweats. They're asked to cook a five-course vegan luncheon for a group of 20 crunchy people, with each chef tackling one course.
 |
And South-in-your-mouth Smith � aw, Art � so flummoxed by having to do a dessert without butter, lard or a combination of both, purchases rice milk ice cream (sadtrombone.com),� ribbons it up with fresh strawberry and tops it with almond brittle for a lackluster meal-ender that not even Deschanel's look-on-the-bright-side compliments can save. He's offed with a total of 12.5 stars, while Chiarello takes home $10K for charity with his 22-star pasta effort.
Next week: Top Chef alums come back to assist the masters, including Dale, my favorite pissy Filipino chef!
this episode hurt to watch. Top Chef Masters and they force them to cook vegan, no-soy dishes? Why would I want to watch that? I want to watch them do something unique with cool food options, not buy some quinoa pasta and make a f*cking pesto and call it a "gremolata". I WANT TO WATCH MASTERS RUN WILD. or, in the words of charlie, GO AMERICA ALL OVER HER VEGAN ASS. don't even get me started on Chiarello's "i'll make it big, give it an italian name, and add truffle" lack of imagination. At least Lo tried to create a novel burger concept. Wow...Keller made it with roquefort! I got that same burger for 1.5 euros at a random tapas bar known only for cheap cava (and, surprisingly, a delicious burger with roquefort). Three types of guac? woohoo. Art and Anita were the only two burgers I respected. this episode really made me lose a lot of interest. next week better be improved.
in fact, i was so annoyed, I forgot to note how much Deschanel sucks. Even her mom got annoyed at her for ruining a week of Top Chef Masters.
I almost cried that Art got kicked off. Not one of my favorites.. and yes I agree, looks like Bayless is going to win.
Yeah, all those boys in love with her are probably thinking now, it'd be a pain to live with her and those food demands. Or not. After they announced the veg rules, I wondered if Bayless was just going to make a big bowl of guac, give her a spoon, and walk away. What a lame contest, especially when most of those burgers from the first part (except the soup) looked fantastic.
Even her mom got annoyed at her for ruining a week of Top Chef Masters. Real talk!
I actually enjoy your features on Top Chef and Top Chef Masters, but what was the f------ purpose of that "joke" on Anita Lo??!! C'mon, the joke was not funny at all and if you thought the joke had rascist overtones, why the f--- would you even put it in this column? Are you gleefully announcing you're rascist and proud of it??!! Disgusting attitude, you. [I hope your publisher has the integrity and fortitude to publish this.]
- barstool scientist
- Booze
- Brew Revue
- Chef Salad
- Closings
- Coffee
- Contests
- Dealage
- Dirty Dishes
- Don't Front
- Eat This Immediately
- Field Trip
- Food and Art
- Food and Holidays
- Food and Movies
- Food and Music
- Food and Politics
- Food and Sports
- Food and Web
- Food Blogs
- Food Books
- Food Events
- Food News
- Food TV
- Gifted
- Happy Hour Hopper
- How-To
- In Print
- Interview
- Meal Ticket
- Menu Time
- Not So Quickfire
- Notes from the Weekend
- On Wheels
- Openings
- Patio Drinking
- Philly Beer Week 2010
- Photos
- Private Chef POV
- Product Placement
- Recipes
- Snack Time
- Stiff Drank
- SUPPER
- Tea
- Testing
- Ticket Stubs
- Top Chef
- Vegan
- Vegetarian
- Video
- Weekly Candy
- Weird Regional Foods
- We're Here to Help
- Where'd We Eat?
- Drew Lazor's Ill-Advised Rant Factory
- Pregame
- Ill-Advised Ranting
- The Week Without Meat
- Philly Beer Week 2009
- Real Big
- Where'd I Eat Last Night?
- Top Chef Masters
- The Good Word
- Next Iron Chef
- Arterial Terrorism
- Food and Radio
