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Top Chef Season 5, Episode 1: Hey, have you heard? There are places to eat in New York!
PADMA. You. Me. Bottle of Old Grand-Dad. Sack of Totino's Pizza Rolls. Now does that sound like something you'd be interested in? bravotv.com
Top Chef Season 5, Episode 1: Hey, have you heard? There are places to eat in New York!
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| PADMA. You. Me. Bottle of Old Grand-Dad. Sack of Totino's Pizza Rolls. Now does that sound like something you'd be interested in? |
| bravotv.com |
"As the saying goes, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere," the transcendently beautiful Padma Lakshmi told the eager contestants on the season premiere of Bravo's Top Chef.
Of course. OF COURSE.
Yes, Season 5 is in New York City. Blablabla so many restaurants that are so good blabla more than half a million industry professionals fighting for six jobs blablabla universal epicenter of all things epicurean bla. anthonybourdain mariobatali ericripert thomaskeller we're better than everyone. We know. WE KNOW.
Sorry. New York always gives me anxiety attacks.
Top Chef is easily the best food show on TV and has always been one of my perennial favorites, and not just because I write articles about turkey burgers and turnovers for a living. People love Project Runway (well, used to at least) due to its almost anti-reality TV reality TV gambit: Yes, there's contrived drama and back-stabbing, but the overriding force driving the show is individual talent and creativity. In other words, you can't lie/cheat/steal/fuck your way through the game on some Real World/Road Rules shit. If you can't make a pencil skirt, you're done.
The same precept can be applied to the Lakshmi/Colicchio variety hour: The viewing populace takes insane pleasure in watching highly qualified industry professionals prepare amuse bouches using preservative-laden snacks they buy out of vending machines, but not because it sucks for them. We just want to see what they come with.
This season's very first Quickfire Challenge, an elimination, had the chefs work on some big apples. (Sigh.) Contestants were instructed to peel 15 with a paring knife, then brunoise 2 cups of said fruit; while top finishers in each round secured their spot on the show, the whittled-down list of stragglers moved further down the gauntlet to the final showdown, which saw them cooking a apple-based dish in 20 minutes. Lauren was tossed back on the ferry she rode in on.
The main challenge involved the remaining chefs shopping in various NY ethnic neighborhoods to create a plate representative of the area. As is the case with any reality TV premiere ep, things are so crowded that it's not only tough to pick favorites, it's also difficult to even register who is who. But as far as I can tell, the top three in this inaugural competition have the chops to get far this year — Hawaiian Gene, who blew Padma away with his unwitting interpretation of Indian cuisine; NY native Leah, who cooks Italian but comes from a "Filipino, Russian-Romanian Jewish background" (what up, sis!); and the challenge winner, Finnish baldheaded Euro shit-talker Stefan.
Young bol Patrick got the boot for screwing up Chinese food. Our dude Erace points out something very intriguing — was he wearing a Tinto shirt?
Favorite moment of the episode: Miami chef Jeff, who to me looks just like the Australian doctor from House, had to cook Latin against Florence-born Fabio. "I live in Miami — I know my Latin," Jeff told the camera with all the force and conviction of a 14-year-old Willie Loman in a middle school production of Death of a Salesman. "He's Italian. It’s a whole 'nother continent."
This is gonna be good.
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