|
|
|
This week's episode took what felt like an eternity to watch, so I'll try to keep this recap as succinct as possible.
Quickfire Challenge: Martha Stewart came out rocking some skinny jeans surprisingly lithely. She challenged the Top Chef hopefuls to create a "one-pot holiday meal" in 45 minutes. She borrowed a quote from Einstein to convey what she was looking for ("Make it simple, but not too simple"), which marked the first time in history anyone in skinny jeans has quoted Einstein. Our dude Jeff's potato risotto with crispy pork and Brussels sprouts sounded excellent, but Martha thought it sucked; she also criticized Gene's corn starch-thickened Korean pork stew and Fabio's polenta, which means we can safely conclude that Martha Stewart hates ethnic carbs.
One exception: Hosea's paella, which was joined in Martha's top three favorites by Jamie's potato, scallop and kale stew (white person food!) and Ariane's beef and cauliflower purée (even whiter white person food!). Ariane won because she is from Jersey and so is Martha.
After all this, the Harlem Gospel Choir came out and we were treated to a brief glimpse of Padma — who is transcendently beautiful — dancing while getting lifted up by that Holy Spirit. This, my favorite moment of the episode, was at once tremendously pleasing and tremendously uncomfortable. This is going to do wonders for the Find Padma a Mate Campaign.
For the Elimination Challenge, the remaining cheftestants were instructed to craft "12 Days of Christmas"-themed food for a 300-person American Foundation for AIDS Research fundraiser. Forcing Fabio to make a crab dish that somehow conveyed the phrase "nine ladies dancing" was cruel and unusual enough, but the viewing public was fed the biggest load of festive shit by the whole refrigerator issue. The chefs came back to the prep kitchen the morning of the event to discover that one of the fridge doors had been left ajar, rendering Hosea's pork and Radhika's duck spoiled and unservable. Haute tension, dramatic music, Radhika's crying and saying she should pack up and go now, etc. Wait ... what's this? HARK, I spy the True Spirit of Christmas, sitting majestically atop his jingle bell- and wreath-adorned steed, on the horizon! All the other chefs lended a helping hand to get Rad and Hosea back on their feet. Hey, a bunch of extra pork and duck — enough for 300 people! — just happens to be hanging out in the kitchen! Wow, this couldn't have worked out any better. This is what Christmas is all about! Now where is that crippled kid?
You make me sick, Bravo.
And you made me even sicker when you subjected me to all of this pre-fab holiday cheer and then DIDN'T ELIMINATE ANYONE. Hosea got the win, but each of the bottom three chefs — Gene (crappy poisson cru), Jamie (crappy scallop vichyssoise dish, ew) and Melissa (crappily gorgonzola-fied NY strip steak) — were spared. Tom Colicchio is baby Jesus Santa!
Natasha Richardson, aka Liam Neeson's wife, lent her celebrity to the show this week. Her boobs looked really weird to me. Anyone else?
- barstool scientist
- Booze
- Brew Revue
- Chef Salad
- Closings
- Coffee
- Contests
- Dealage
- Dirty Dishes
- Don't Front
- Eat This Immediately
- Field Trip
- Food and Art
- Food and Holidays
- Food and Movies
- Food and Music
- Food and Politics
- Food and Sports
- Food and Web
- Food Blogs
- Food Books
- Food Events
- Food News
- Food TV
- Gifted
- Happy Hour Hopper
- How-To
- In Print
- Interview
- Meal Ticket
- Menu Time
- Not So Quickfire
- Notes from the Weekend
- On Wheels
- Openings
- Patio Drinking
- Philly Beer Week 2010
- Photos
- Private Chef POV
- Product Placement
- Recipes
- Snack Time
- Stiff Drank
- SUPPER
- Tea
- Testing
- Ticket Stubs
- Top Chef
- Vegan
- Vegetarian
- Video
- Weekly Candy
- Weird Regional Foods
- We're Here to Help
- Where'd We Eat?
- Drew Lazor's Ill-Advised Rant Factory
- Pregame
- Ill-Advised Ranting
- The Week Without Meat
- Philly Beer Week 2009
- Real Big
- Where'd I Eat Last Night?
- Top Chef Masters
- The Good Word
- Next Iron Chef
- Arterial Terrorism
- Food and Radio
- May
- April
- March
- February
- January
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
