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Top Chef Season 5, Episodes 3-4: Foo's Gold / It's beginning to look a lot like Jeff-mas
Apologies for getting off track with last week's Top Chef recap — there's still time to blame things on extended holiday revelry, right? Anyway, smooth sailing from here on out.
Top Chef Season 5, Episodes 3-4: Foo's Gold / It's beginning to look a lot like Jeff-mas
Apologies for getting off track with last week's Top Chef recap — there's still time to blame things on extended holiday revelry, right? Anyway, smooth sailing from here on out.
I thoroughly enjoyed Episode 3, but not because of the cornball Thanksgiving themeage, the dubbing of Tom Colicchio as a "gay bear icon" or the involvement of the Foo Fighters. I loved it because it featured two — two! — independent references to MacGyver, which is better than Six Feet Under, The Wire, The Sopranos, Charles In Charge and every other TV show that's ever aired. God bless you, Carla ("I feel like I'm a MacGyver when it comes to these things!" she exclaimed at the outset of the first challenge) and Gene (his impromptu barbecue-pit-building prowess earned the Mac label from judges). This counts as my favorite moment of the episode.
Episode 3's Quickfire Challenge, overseen by Grant Achatz of Chicago's famed Alinea, tagged the cheftestants with the masturbatory, placement-heavy task of turning recipes out of the Top Chef cookbook into soup using Swanson brand broth. (David Snyder quoted Achatz in his Jan. 2008 piece on "molecular" cooking.) Leah, who I pegged as a frontrunner at the outset, took it with her chilled white asparagus soup with brioche, tuna and tapenade, a spoonable interpretation of a dish from Season 3 winner Hung Huynh. (She even got her own press release!)
Elimination Challenge brought on the Foo, as cheffies split into two squadrons ("Team Sexy Pants" and "Team Cougar") to whip up a Turkey Day pre-concert meal for Dave Grohl, his bandmates and assorted entourage — using only microwaves and toaster ovens. I know most of you are finally emancipated from the fetters of Thanksgiving leftovers, so I won't stir up any gut-wrenching flashbacks by going over what the kids made in detail. Just know that the Sexy Pantsers won based on Rad's roasted vegan stuffing and desserts from Fabio and Hosea. "Team Rainbow" member Richard, who was the contestant to go on the record stating what everyone already knows — that the baldheaded Tom C. is every famished bear's dream meal — was sent packing for a crappy s'more dessert that Grohl compared to saliva.
Achatz is such an interesting guy, but some of his comments — "It's just good to execute classics the way they're supposed to be done," he advised at the judges' table — came off slightly disingenuous, as he's the king of not-even-remotely-"classic" cuisine. Aren't you the guy who turns peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into space dust?
Onto Episode 4.
It always amazes me, in the realm of reality television, how a favored contestant can turn despicable in a blink thanks to things as ostensibly innocuous as smarmy editing or out-of-context quoting. I find that the exact opposite is true, as well — take Jeff, the blonde-as-a-state-of-mind Miami chef who, until last night, I'd earmarked as nothing more than an airy fop and a dead ringer for Dr. Robert Chase from House.
The guy somehow managed to win me over early in Episode 4 during a Quickfire Challenge that required the cooks to put together a breakfast-themed amuse bouche for the transcendently beautiful Padma and guest judge Rocco DiSpirito. ("He's not really Italian," Fabio was sure to point out.) Amuses, a common starting point at mid- to high-range restaurants, are supposed to be one tiny little bite, a flavorful tease to get you excited for the courses to come. For some reason, very few chefs on TV seem to get this (it's come up on Top Chef and other cooking competition shows multiple times).
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| Jeff's enormous amuse bouche. |
| bravotv.com |
Jeff made the thing to the right.
The moment I started rooting for the guy was during an on-camera sit-down where he attempted to defend his decision to make his amuse more than one bite. He had the twice-baked potato! He had the yogurt sorbet! And that's — you can see the realization wash over his face — "two ... too much." I love anyone who's self-aware enough to pick apart their own screwups while blabbing about themselves, to themselves, on cable television. Jeff all the way. Leah, however, ended up with the immunity idol for her amuse, a bacon-egg-cheese thing.
This week's Elimination: Come up with a simple dish designed to be presented on live TV in no more than 2.5 minutes. This flirtation with small-screen stardom drew some interesting responses from the contestants — Leah freaked out, but gumba-fied Daniel, whose aspirations are "kinda similar to Bobby Flay's," claimed that he "light[s] up in front of the camera." None of them meta-addressed that they were currently on TV to begin with.
The chefs present their dishes to Padma, Tom and Rocco in a really funny mock studio setup. Top three: Ariane kills it with her warm mom charm, Fabio finagles the metaphorical pantaloons off Padma by not being able to speak English and our dude Jeff is all polish all day. Bottom three: Jamie undercooks a duck egg, Alex undercooks crème brûlée and Melissa almost kills Colicchio with a far-too-hot habanero shrimp (aw he can't digest spicy food!).
The frontrunners are then told that their dishes will be judged on live television by the Today Show crew, about whom we learn some weird things, namely that watermelon makes Meredith Viera sick (?!) and that Kathie Lee is racist against Arabs Jeff's malfouf rolls. Ariane earns the eventual badge at judges' table. Alex is told to pack his knives and go, which is fine by me because the whole bawling-over-the-drippy-letter scene that started the episode was terrible.
Favorite moment: Jeff on the Today Show aspect of the competition — "I'm serving a Middle Eastern roll to a bunch of ladies with unsophisticated palates at 6:37 a.m. I'm pissed off."
Next week, they're catering a bridal shower. Looks like Fabio will have yet another opportunity to exploit his FOB status for residual booty. Gail Simmons is shown hating on everything as per usual ("This is not a good start to a new life"). I love Gail!
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