Food TV

POSTED: Tuesday, April 7, 2009, 4:44 PM
Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef

The Insider tells us that Philly chef/dietician Katie Cavuto will compete on the upcoming season of The Next Food Network Star. Now comes word that Douglas Rodriguez, the multi-restaurant chef behind our own Alma de Cuba, will be one of 24 superstar chefs competing on Bravo's Top Chef Masters. The series, slated to debut on June 10, will feature 24 "world-renowned" chefs competing in the classic Top Chef format (one Quickfire Challenge and one Elimination Challenge per episode) to earn a $100K prize for charity.

Guest stars/judges will include Neil Patrick Harris (!), Lost producers Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof (!!) and Zooey Deschanel (!!!).

Full rundown of Masters contestants � it is intense � after the jump.

-��� Rick Bayless � Frontera Grill, Chicago, Ill.
-��� Wilo Benet � Pikayo, San Juan, Puerto Rico
-��� John Besh � Restaurant August, New Orleans, LA
-��� Graham Elliot Bowles � Graham Elliot Restaurant, Chicago, Ill.
-��� Michael Chiarello � Bottega Restaurant, Yountville, Calif.
-��� Michael Cimarusti � Providence, Los Angeles, Calif.
-��� Wylie Dufresne � wd~50, New York, N.Y.
-��� Elizabeth Falkner � Orson, San Francisco, Calif.
-��� Hubert Keller � Fleur de Lys, San Francisco, Calif.
-��� Christopher Lee � Aureole, New York, N.Y.
-��� Ludo Lefebvre � Ludo Bites, Los Angeles, Calif.
-��� Anita Lo � Annisa, New York, N.Y.
-��� Tim Love � The Lonesome Dove Western Bistro, Fort Worth, Texas
-��� Rick Moonen � Rick Moonen's RM Seafood at Mandalay Bay, Las Vegas, Nev.
-��� Nils Noren � French Culinary Institute, New York, N.Y.
-��� Lachlan McKinnon Patterson � Frasca Food & Wine, Boulder, Colo.
-��� Cindy Pawlcyn � Mustards Grill, Napa Valley, Calif.
-��� Mark Peel � Campanile, Los Angeles, Calif.
-��� Douglas Rodriguez � Alma de Cuba, Philadelphia, PA
-��� Michael Schlow � Radius Restaurant, Boston, Mass.
-��� Art Smith � Table Fifty-Two, Chicago, Ill.
-��� Suzanne Tracht � Jar, Los Angeles, Calif.
-��� Jonathan Waxman � Barbuto, New York, N.Y.
-��� Roy Yamaguchi � Roy's Restaurants, San Diego, Calif.


clint
Posted 2009-04-07 12:29:27
oh man.  Lost producers on Top Chef as guest judges?  The fanboy in me just squealed.

B
Posted 2009-04-08 21:39:05
YAAHHHH!!  That was my idea!!  Oh well.

B
Posted 2009-04-08 21:42:40
A little too California heavy for me; I'd also take off Art Smith and put Grant Achaz in his place.  Hopefully, there'll be a second edition that'll feature Eric Ripert, Marc Vetri, and the like.

Anthony
Posted 2009-04-09 18:37:15
Just give the title to Dufresne now.  Top Chef loves him as much as they love scallops.
Posted by Drew Lazor @ 4:44 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Thursday, March 19, 2009, 1:00 PM
Filed Under: Food TV

VendrTV, the street food Web series that debuted in February, just released its first Philly episode. Check out host Daniel Delaney digging into a falafel platter from Christos' (known colloquially as "The Falafel Man") at 20th and Market.

Living on the Vedge posted her take on the cultish cart last summer. Though we'll make an exception in Kelly's case, we generally don't trust those who worry about the inclusion of deliciously char-grilled chicken. Don't fight it. Just let it happen.


paco
Posted 2009-03-19 09:59:55
king of falafel at 16th and jfk owns over this junk.
Posted by Drew Lazor @ 1:00 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Friday, March 6, 2009, 1:29 AM
Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef

- The video above is from Hulu because bravotv.com stopped allowing embedding about three quarters of the way through this season. Of course, it cuts off right before that salt-and-pepper-headed guy with the non-moving eyeball announces this season's $10,000 Fan Favorite. To no one's surprise, it's Fabio, he of the panty-disintegrating accent that we've talked so much about this season. I am OK with this. Did you know that he is William Shatner's private chef? Even if he was an incorrigible bastard, I would still vote for him for Fan Favorite based solely on this. And apparently he is getting his own show.

- Lackluster conclusion to this season notwithstanding, is anyone else kind of bummed out that Season 5 is actually over? I would always temper the impossible-to-understand claw hammer to the brain that is the latest season of LOST with some good, clean Top Chef fun. Now I'm slowly slipping into fullblown madness.

- Leah and Hosea drunken pouty relationship crap: nomorenomorenomore. Both cheftestants' relationships are now kaput. That's probably a good thing. And now, please pour one out for Hosea's betrayed ex-girlfriend, who is quite attractive (and seems to just love the outdoors! fellas?):

- Why does Richard, who was voted off the show in Episode 3, constantly feel the need to remind everyone that he is popular with bears? Richard, you are a farcically large gay man who could crush my head with your bare hands. That you are a hit in the bear community is a given.

- Is wearing an "I <3 Foie" T-shirt, like Episode 1 victim Patrick, more or less obnoxious than the act of harassing someone who just happens to love foie?

- I kind of like Jamie now. I think she's funny. I would like to apologize for ridiculing your overreliance on scallops throughout this season.

- I've ready several takes on last night's reunion that criticized its reliance on overproduced montages, which focused on everything from "stew room" antics to the Stefan/Fabio "bromance" (retire ... word ... now). Why?! Overproduced montages are pretty much the only reason I watch TV. You have seen America's Funniest Home Videos, no?

- Till next time, Padma. Have I mentioned that you are transcendently beautiful?


deesha
Posted 2009-03-06 10:55:42
Yes, Drew...I am with you. Feeling quite silly, as if I really knew these people, but I will really miss this season. I've always loved Jamie, but what's up with umm...what's his name. The one next to her, Edward or something. Damn, what was his name? He obviously was there out of contractual obligation. I love Fabio. I love Carla. Hosea annoys me, and Stefan...well, he seems the type to have a small package. Long Live Top Chef NYC.

kibby
Posted 2009-03-06 12:29:05
Montages are truly the best, AFV and otherwise.  And jesus christ, the I heart foie tshirt was the lamest thing that i have ever seen besides the actual dude wearing it.

LPNY73
Posted 2009-03-07 14:31:33
I loved the I heart foie shirt especially after the fight for foie on the finale! I got one at www.savorygusto.com. Very cool.
Posted by Drew Lazor @ 1:29 AM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Thursday, February 26, 2009, 9:57 PM
Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef

Season 5 of Bravo's Top Chef wrapped up last night. Meal Ticket readers and I have been blabbing all week about who we thought would take home the title among last-chefs-standing Stefan, Carla and Hosea.

Full commentary after the jump (warning for DVR people — immediate spoilers).

bravotv.com

Boulder, Colorado's Hosea — who I've consistently labeled as an underachiever thanks to his back-of-the-line shuffle through this year's competition — is Top Chef.

I did not anticipate this happening AT ALL, and I don't think anyone else did, either.

The final challenge is always simple — cook the best three-course meal of your life. It's a task that I felt Stefan, ever the steely-yet-eloquent tactician, and Carla, whose bubbly, soulful nature has come through in her food in the second half of the season, would destroy. Yet both made odd, uncharacteristic mistakes and decisions that tarnished their final offerings so much that Hosea's inspired, well-executed meal was the clear champion.

It's just one more thing to argue about for the two schools of Top Chef judging thought: determining a cheftestant's fate based on his or her collective output, or picking winners based solely on a singular challenge. It doesn't seem that Top Chef has a hard and fast policy regarding this — if they did, Stefan would've been eliminated for his extremely overcooked salmon in Episode 12 instead of Leah for her runny eggs. Last night, however, Hosea was clearly the best — and this stroke of superiority was enough to convince the judges that he deserved the crown.

What the hell happened here? Let's see.

After an idyllic breakfast on a paddleboat, we got to hear the contestants rave about what winning would mean to them. "It would suck to go home without the title," Hosea said at the outset. At this point, I don't think anyone thought the guy was capable of going home with it. We were so wrong.

The Final Three learned that they would be cooking their meals at NOLA restaurant Commander's Palace for a group of tasters that included all our judges' table friends in addition to the likes of elimitaliano Fabio, Rocco DiSpirito and Hubert Keller. Then they tossed a sous chef twist into the wind by bringing back close-but-no-$100K-cigar finale participants from previous seasons — Season 2 chem slanger Marcel, twangy Season 3 debutante Casey and Season 4 frontrunner Richard (who was featured on Meal Ticket back in November). After knife-drawing, the ladies were paired up, while Richard and Marcel ended up with Hosea and Stefan, respectively. ("He's a bit of a twat, but who's not?" Stefan observed of his sous chef. I'm not a twat man.)

A prep period saw the baldies bitching at each over the distribution of foie gras and caviar, which ranks as the most presposterously insensitive first-world debate I've witnessed this season.

The next morning, Tom C. materialized in the Commander's Palace kitchen with another twist: Each contestant was required to prepare an additional passed hors d'oeuvres using one of three native NOLA ingredients — crab, red fish or alligator. To determine who would get to pick first (as well as assign the other cheftestants their food), they ate pieces of king cake, which Felicia D. told you about the other day. Whoever found the plastic baby in their wedge would get the advantage. (Please just read this.) Hosea landed the infant/choking hazard — he took red fish, giving Carla too-easy crab and leaving the gator for Stefan (of course). This ended up being irrelevant to the finale's outcome, however, as all the judges and guests dug the bite-size starters of each chef.

It all came down to the coursework.

Hosea started with sashimi drizzled with hot fennel oil, following that up with a scallop/foie gras dish on pain perdu with apple compote and foie gras foam and the third course, a Colorado-like venison dish with 'shrooms, chestnut/celery root purée and Richard-fied carbonated blackberries. No dessert — but no one was required to make one. All dishes were approved by the judges (small criticisms included blandess in the first course), though Tom C. and Toby butted heads over the lack of a sweet plate.

Carla began with a beautiful seared red snapper bouillabaisse-type thing with saffron aioli, moved on to a NY strip cooked sous vide (Casey's suggestion, though Carla had never used the technique; judges found the meat tough and Toby called it "rather anemic") and ended with an incomplete cheese plate that she sent out sans a souffle that got effed in the oven. (She originally wanted to rock one of her signature tarts, but went instead with Casey's suggestion.) A lot of people are blaming Casey for "sabotaging" Carla's chances, which I think is horseshit. The chef had 100 percent creative control over her menu, and was not obliged to take any of her (admittedly overly opinionated) sous chef's suggestions and run with them. Why did she do it? It had to have been nerves. It's just sad and unfortunate that it cost her $100K — if Carla had cooked her steak traditionally and put together her cheese tart as originally planned, she definitely would've won.

bravotv.com

Much to Marcel's befuddlement, Stefan decided to freeze a hyper-fresh portion of halibut so he could slice it thin for a first-course carpaccio with smoked salmon, a decision that led to the judges ripping the dish for being too watery and bland. In the middle, he whipped up a homey, extremely well-received pan-seared squab (Tom's favorite of the night) before concluding with the universally reviled dessert trio at right. My girl Gail, whose soul-screaming cleavage was my change-of-heart pick for Top Chef after I knew Stef had lost it, said it looked straight out of 1982. Padma called it "pedestrian at best." I don't quite understand what happened here, especially considering a) Marcel surely had more than a few tweaks and tricks in his bag for his chef; and b) Stefan has dominated with his desserts in previously (see Restaurant Wars).

"Cooking basic food is much sexier than doing a bunch of bullshit," Stefan said while going over his menu. I agree, but there's nothing basic or sexy about something that looks like it could be served at one of the restaurants from American Psycho. You were my pick, Stef! What went wrong?

On paper, Hosea deserved to win — IF (big if) your criteria is strictly the final challenge. He did a better job than his two competitors, who succumbed to unfortunate lapses in judgment (Carla's over-reliance on Casey's ideas) and in imagination (Stefan seemed to resent being asked to cook with no boundaries or stipulations). It's just difficult for me to accept that Hosea deserved the title. IF (another big if) you look back and absorb what he did in Season 5 as part of your decision-making process, you'll find that though he did win a handful of challenges, the chef side-stepped his way through most rounds by squeaking through in the middle.

In Seasons 1 through 3, I felt that each Top Chef winner — Harold, Ilan and Hung — was the premier talent of his season. In Season 4, I didn't have a favorite, but was comfortable with either Richard or eventual winner Stephanie taking it.

This time around, however, I can't bring myself to say that the show rewarded the chef who possesses the widest breadth of culinary ability. I'm not taking issue with Hosea's on-paper talent — he proved in this episode that he can do it and do it well. Rather, I'm flummoxed because his victory proved that this season was nothing more than a game of Sharks and Minnows — keep your neck above water long enough, and catch a couple lucky breaks, and you may just find yourself the last fish in the pool.

As much as I have crapped on Hosea this season — for both his creepo relationship with pout factory Leah and his irritating Stefan's-little-brother inferiority complex — you have to give him credit for pulling off something that a majority of Top Chef fans thought was impossible. It just makes me wonder — with the producers aware of the identity of the winner some time before the airing of the finale, why did they make absolutely no effort to build audience empathy for Hosea in the episodes leading up to last night's? Throughout this season, he was never portrayed as scrappy enough to become default underdog. (That was Carla.) Most of his camera time was dedicated to complaining about Stefan. And they made sure to squeeze every bit of manufactured "he's a scumbag!" drama out of the Leah/infidelity subplot. In other words, they basically skipped over any and every opportunity they had to connect Hosea with viewers, so much so that no one (no one I know, at least) was rooting for him — or even really thinking about him — come finale time.

What does this tell us about Season 5? It tell us the producers probably didn't want — and certainly didn't expect — Hosea to win.

So what do you think? Let me know in the comments. Meanwhile, I'll be scouring the Internet for a high-res picture of Gail's bosoms.

UPDATE: Here are some pictures of Gail's boobs for archival purposes. Many thanks to PW's Style Blog:

style.pwblogs.com

Felicia D'Ambrosio
Posted 2009-02-26 17:34:54
Gail has got to be preggo.  Those tits are on some serious hormone-flation.

kibby
Posted 2009-02-26 18:49:28
Gail's tits looked awesome!

Jenny
Posted 2009-02-26 19:49:26
So, you get to be "Top Chef" by flying under the radar throughout the entire series? This season was truly craptastic.

As for Carla, sometimes you have to learn an important lesson publicly and painfully. I hope that she never second guesses herself again.

L. Phleghming
Posted 2009-02-26 20:35:56
the last episode made me so sad. goddamnit carla. we were rooting for you! WE WERE ALLL ROOOOOTING FOR YOU!

Frank
Posted 2009-02-26 23:03:09
I guess I'm in the small minority, but I wanted Hosea to win once Fabio (the clear fan favorite in my opinion) was eliminated.  Its not that I think he was the best chef on the season, but he was far less annoying than god's gift to cooking or miss "if I love my food it will taste better".

Joe
Posted 2009-02-27 02:43:07
Solid recap. The episode was a big disappointment for 86 percent of the people. On a Bravo poll, only 14 percent said they expected/wanted Hosea to win. Honestly, after seeing the goofs they all made, Tom and Padma should have demanded one final dessert course from them all seeing how none of them did it successfully. Or just an overall redo. When mediocrity becomes the victor, we all lose, and I think the show is going to lose part of its audience due to this year's choice.

B
Posted 2009-02-27 17:43:37
Drew,



Nice summary (especially the cleavage shots - hubba hubba!).  I especially agree with this paragraph:



"This time around, however, I can

B
Posted 2009-02-27 17:49:30
Huh - my comment was chopped off.  It was both snarky and witty - anyway, where are the hi-def Gail pictures Drew???!!  Hurry.

Plum
Posted 2009-03-03 10:27:41
The cumulative vs. single episode scoring debate annoys me.  First, despite what is being said now, the show does not judge based on single epsiode performance.  As said above, if that were the case Stefan would've been booted sooner.  

Second, if you did want to base performance on one episode, why would you put one competitor at a serious disadvantage in the final (Stefan having to cook with alligator).  True, Stefan's alligator course, by itself, was succesful.  However, one of Gail's criticisms of Stefan was that his meal was "up and down" rather than a consistent progression.  In other words, the soup was heavy, the carpaccio was light, etc.  Having the alligator limited what Stefan could do, and arguably hurt the "progression" of his meal.  

Finally, why call the show "Top Chef" and then create a situation where the best chef doesn't win?  Overall I think this hurts the show's reputation.

Top Chef Las Vegas Episode 14: The Final Table :: Meal Ticket :: Philadelphia City Paper :: Philadelphia Events, Arts, Restaurants, Music, Movies, Jobs, Classifieds, Blogs
Posted 2009-12-10 18:53:24
[...] when I (and some of the rest of y’all, i’m guessing) boo-hissed at my screen due to the groan-inducing nature of the conclusion, I knew that all the remaining finalists were worthy adversaries for one another. While it’s [...] 
Posted by Drew Lazor @ 9:57 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Wednesday, February 25, 2009, 7:45 PM
Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef

It looks like a majority of commenters on yesterday's call for Top Chef season finale predictions pick (or at least want) Carla to win. So I figure it's as good as time as any to share this masterful Photoshop piece I have spent several minutes days working on.

After conducting several heavy, heady rounds of scientific research involving DNA alleles and many more of the things they talk about on CSI: Miami, I can definitively conclude that character actor Tony Todd and Didi Pickles (Tommy's mom from Rugrats) are the frontrunner's parents.

I still stand by my Stefan pick even though his dad is not Candyman.

The Season 5 finale airs on Bravo tonight at 10 p.m.


B
Posted 2009-02-25 22:43:40
I'm sick about Chef's Market closing.  I'll be there tomorrow.



I like that the producers chose to bring back sous chefs from prior seasons, rather than the current one - there always seemed to be an element of sabotage with current cheftestants.  Good to see Blais!  Having said that, why is Fabio back as a judge?  



Hosea took the appetizer.



Carla took the first course.



Stephan took the second course, maybe?



Hosea maybe takes the third course?  Can he take it all???



Carla!!!  I thought the pressure might get to her; sad to say I was right.  Bad mistake on her dessert.



Love the Gail eye roll/head shake towards Rocco!  And her cleavage!  My goodness.  Did I mention that I love Gail?  I do.



Regardless of who wins, this has been a pretty good season.

B
Posted 2009-02-25 23:45:24
Did Stephan really call Marcel a twat?  And that wasn't bleeped?  And then he went on to say that most people are?  Wow.  Hollywood loves a happy ending, so I guess the Hosea vitory isn't that big of a surprise - watching the review of the current season, I realized how much Stephan really acted like a ******d toward just about everybody.  Still, I also would've loved to have seen Carla win, though she did win the car - so I don't feel too too bad for her. Yes Carla, you can compete with love!!  Carla's cool.   



Wasn't Stephan an executive chef at Chez something or other during the season?  Now he's the owner of Stephan's Catering?  That was a fast turnaround.



On to The Last Restaurant Standing clone on NBC, whatever it's called - Chopping Block?  Based on the promos - meh.  We'll see.

Brian Howard
Posted 2009-02-26 12:32:06
Worst. Finale. Ever.
Posted by Drew Lazor @ 7:45 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Wednesday, February 25, 2009, 12:07 AM
Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef

bravotv.com

I've had a blast writing about Top Chef New York here on Meal Ticket. It's a little sad, but also exciting, to think that it'll all be over come tomorrow night. (At least until Season 6 starts ... Vegas is the rumor.)

The Season 5 recaps have garnered some great response from Top Chef fans, so why stop now? Tell me who's going to take it, Meal Ticketers — Grouchy Finnish arm-crosser Stefan? Lovable hippie-dip caterer Carla? Seafood-searing novelty T-shirt mannequin Hosea?

I've already put my prediction out there. Share yours — and any salacious spoiler-riffic rumors you might've heard — in the comments.


Stev
Posted 2009-02-24 19:37:35
Stefan had been my pick from the beginning, though I'd be pleased to see Carla win.

L. Phleghming
Posted 2009-02-24 19:57:54
CARLA CARLA CARLA! Screw Fabrizio's boyfriend and his Finnish/German/Austrian/Swiss eel splicing antics! And Hosea? come on - stop shakin' in your shorts and let the real chef serve me up some perfect peas for my final meal. You're goin' down boys.

Adam
Posted 2009-02-24 20:53:08
Mama Pickles all the way.

Chuckabay
Posted 2009-02-24 23:13:35
Hootiehoo! I'm gunning for Carla, crazy eyes and all.

christine
Posted 2009-02-25 02:44:36
i love hootiehoo but i think it'll be stephan.

A.D.
Posted 2009-02-25 10:00:12
Two laid back bald guys - even when one is Mean-ass Rammstein guy- work against each other. Carla is b-b-bugged out. She seems to have a deeper appreciation for the game and a love of the culinary process. She wins. 

Or is schitzel for everybody.

Jenny
Posted 2009-02-25 10:23:50
Carla! She has the personality and the taste to be the Top Chef. I have no idea why Hoser is even in the finale...

kibby
Posted 2009-02-25 12:54:58
I heard a rumor that Carla was in the NPR studios yesterday. Maybe because she won? I hope so. Hootie-Hoo.



Also, if Hosea wins, I will vomit.

upma
Posted 2009-02-25 13:52:13
I reallllllllly hope it's Carla!  Remember when Padma said during the first episode that, historically the winner of the first elimination round of the first episode has gone on to win it all?  Not this time, please.  (Stefan won that first episode).

cc
Posted 2009-02-25 14:07:37
I still don't understand how Hosea has gotten to the end. When you know, almost for sure, that one person simply doesn't have what it takes, then a little of the suspense is lost in the final showdown. I think, any ways.

Molly Eichel
Posted 2009-02-25 14:16:32
My prediction: In a surprise move, the producers bring Fabio back citing the fact that he is "just too fucking cute for words." Fabio takes it all.



That, or Stefan owns it.

Meal Ticket :: Blog Archive :: Empirical proof of Top Chef contestant Carla’s famous lineage :: Philadelphia City Paper :: Philadelphia Arts, Restaurants, Music, Movies, Jobs, Classifieds, Blogs
Posted 2009-02-25 14:45:49
[...] Earls of Sandwich: Unbreaded.com• The Whitman spits in face of economy with $100 martini• Top Chef Season 5: Let's hear your predictions for tomorrow night's finale• Seasons 52 opens in Cherry Hill March 23• Hallelujah, Wegman's Jesus triumphs over [...] 

Melissa
Posted 2009-02-25 19:41:18
As long as Hosea doesn't win I'm happy. Stefan is extremely talented and Carla is just great, she grew on me as well.  This wasn't too strong of a season anyway, the best part was reading your hysterical recaps every week.  DiDi Pickles is stil the best!

Marc Steel
Posted 2009-02-25 20:37:56
Carla. You can feel the love.
Posted by Drew Lazor @ 12:07 AM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Friday, February 20, 2009, 4:29 PM
Filed Under: Food TV

NBC enters the foodie reality show fray with The Chopping Block, which premieres Wed., March 11 at 9 p.m. Host Marco Pierre White, who's operated multiple Michelin-starred restaurants in the U.K., was a culinary celeb when Gordon Ramsay was still just a foul-mouthed line cook. (He has previously hosted the Brit version of Hell's Kitchen.)

The Chopping Block is structured similarly to another U.K. reality contest, Last Restaurant Standing — eight couples run two neighboring restaurants in Manhattan, competing for the same customers while being judged by pithy food critics and surprise guests. The ultimate winner takes home $250,000.

Philly represents with mother/daughter duo Angie Brown and Samantha Johnson, who own Soul in Chestnut Hill. Johnson is a former Miss Pennsylvania, and from the look of their bio clip, these are ladies coming with some serious television charisma and more than a little interpersonal sass/drama.

Posted by Felicia D'Ambrosio @ 4:29 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Friday, February 20, 2009, 4:11 AM
Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef
bravotv.com

Moments before last night's penultimate Top Chef started, I posted my Final Four rankings. How close did I come to being stupendously wrong? Soooo close.

Quickfire: In the most welcome "twist" of this season, Padma, Goddess of Cephalopod-Themed T&A, and Tom C., the Patron Saint of Dissatisfied Grimaces, met up with notably sedate Emeril Lagasse in the front yard of what looked like a setpiece from Double Jeopardy. I could shoot you in the middle of Mardi Gras, and they can't touch me!

Twist, right: The Final Four learned that they would not be cooking. Rather, three exiled cheftestants would be battling for a spot in the second-to-last challenge. In the running? Surly Sue Jamie, more formally known, in all her regal mollusktisity, as the Duchess of Scallopshire; my Dr. Robert Chase-ian dude Jeff, who recently came out saying that he felt producers exploited him for his boyish, narrow-hipped appeal (well-played); and ... Leah, who made awkward middle school flirty faces at Hosea. Nonono evilevilevil. Emeril told them to get busy on a crawfish dish.

Jeff ended up impressing the most with a crawfish/grits/andouille combo, earning him a chance to cook alongside the Final Four in the Elimination. (He would have to win the challenge, not just sneak through in the middle, to make the finale.) "Jeff's mind has a couple people talking in it," explained Jeff about himself in third person. I wonder what kind of people?

Elimination: Stefan, Carla, Fabio and Hosea, with their little Jeff +1, were given six hours to prepare two dishes (at least one Creole) and one cocktail for a 100-person masquerade ball organized by Mardi Gras parade brigade Krewe of Orpheus. (Go to their Web site — you'll be pleased to learn that the closeted Italian dude Salvatore from Mad Men is one of their special celebrity guests this year.)

bravotv.com

Carla fun facts! She does not drink and cannot shuck oysters. (She also used to be a model!) She still managed, though, to complete an oyster stew and a shrimp/sausage beignet, and made the strange-at-the-time decision to offer a teetotaler's cranberry/lime spritzer as her cocktail. Stefan, who made it a point to taunt Hosea repeatedly with phallic andouille portions (above), came out with a duck/rabbit gumbo over grits, an apple beignet and some cherry/cran/rum drink. Jeff offered a fried oyster with from-scratch sausage (impressive), a crawfish pot de creme and a smash-hit cucumber mojito. Hosea did a pecan-crusted catfish, a Hurricane and stirred his roux for 20 years like an old scoliosis-stricken Cajun lady to make his centerpiece gumbo. Fabreezy, who likened the masquerade ball to an "old porno movie" (borrow please? thx), went slightly Medi with it, cooking crawfish/crab caserecci pasta with his a sausage/rabbit maque choux  and a macerated red bell pepper tipple.

Despite her inexperience popping shells (girl coulda just steamed them, said Tom C.), Carla took home the win (and a Toyota) by impressing Emeril with her refined plates and shockingly successful non-booze beverage. (That's truly a testament if she came out on top lubricating the judges with cups of juice.) Jeff (oh, Jeff) was so very close to winning, but came up just short — all the textures/flavors were there for the panel (now featuring Gail!), but he didn't bring it home quite as strong as the last lady standing. Hosea, OF COURSE, snuck by in the middle, but to his credit, Emeril gave him daps for doing that gumbo the right way. Right now, he is probably wearing a stupid three-quarter-sleeve baseball T-shirt with a picture of the "Chocolate Rain" guy on it.

Bottom two: Fabio and Stefan. Oh, the foreign-born humanity. Judges had some nit-picky stuff for Stefan, but they were mostly sour on his attitude. (Why now? He's been acting like this the entire season.) Gail also felt that his food "didn't have soul," which is a preposterous and amazing thing to hear Gail say. For Fab, the pasta sauce needed more heat and the bell pepper cocktail was too sweet, and that was enough to send him on his way. What do you think? Did the right Euro go home? I'm inclined to say yes, but that's mostly because I dubbed Stefan the champ before the fact. 

Next week: Finale Part 2. I've always admired the format of the Top Chef season ender — no flaming hoops, Diet Dr. Pepper desserts or wriggling invertebrates. Just cook us the best meal you've ever cooked. As impressive as Carla was in E13, I'm sticking to my swami guns: Stefan will just barely edge out Carla to take the title, and Hosea will present something perfectly good, but not life-altering. How are y'all seeing it?


B
Posted 2009-02-20 02:00:36
Love the Dennis Miller-esque (-ian?) references - keep 'em coming! "3/4 baseball T-Shirt with the Chocolate Rain guy on it"! Yes! That is Hosea!  Hilarious.



Yes, I think you called it right, and I love Carla too (though the Didi Pickles reference is now lost since she's straightened her hair).  Hubert Keller is the guest judge in the finale, so the cheftestants will definitely have to bring it (though he seems to have mellowed a bit since Season One).  I'm concerned Carla will be a little rattled by the pressure, as she seemed to be earlier in the season.  Hosea is good, but not great.  I thought Fabio deserved to go - he was on the edge a few times.  Stefan takes it all in a nail-biter.



I love Gail.  Like, "Stop the wedding!" love.  Sigh. Oh well.

Kevin
Posted 2009-02-20 10:03:30
I suppose Stefan has to be the favorite going into the final, but for the last 2-3 weeks has clearly been one of the worst. The only reason he was allowed to stay on the show is because of his previous victories. No way his over cooked salmon earned him a spot. From the start I liked Jamie, and still feel robbed that she was booted. I have never been a fan of Carla, who reminds me of the mortician from The Wire, although i will admit she is growing on me. Regardless, Stefan is a joke, and sadly I would rather see Carla, or even Hosea, win.

George
Posted 2009-02-20 13:21:46
Regardless of his attitude, Stefan has been the most impressive chef in all the Top Chef seasons so far. In case you've forgotten, he has a total of 10 wins this season (4 Quickfire, 4 elimination and 2 team) including 2 episodes where he won both the quickfire and elimination. That has to be the season record, by a long shot. Regardless of his cockiness, he has the goods to back it up. I don't even imagine his recent dishes have been that bad, just a case of the producers nitpicking to create some drama and tension for the final, which he is odds on favorite to win and has been for much of the season. All anyone had to do was read his bio to realize that this competition is his to lose, although Richard Blaise did lose Top Chef 4 as the odds on favorite for most of the season. Is his occasional arrogant attitude offputting? Definitely, but the man has mad skills, and doesn't actually appear to be an ogre as often portrayed by the editing, evidenced by the warm partings he's had with nearly all of the eliminated chefs.

Drew Lazor
Posted 2009-02-20 14:43:34
George:



Is his occasional arrogant attitude offputting? Definitely, but the man has mad skills, and doesn’t actually appear to be an ogre as often portrayed by the editing.



Well-said. Though the argument can be made that Stefan's best challenges are behind him, I'm sticking to my original prediction that he's going to take the final. I think the "cook us the best of your life" format is perfect for him. Most of his stumbles have taken place with simple dishes. The overcooked salmon during the "Last Supper" challenge was definitely his most egregious screwup. With a blank canvas, I see him excelling.



One other interesting thing I haven't heard a lot of people considering: Everyone is talking about the finale like it's a two-horse race, Stefan vs. Carla. Is there anyone who's thinking Hosea might continue with his duck-under-the-radar success? What if Stefan and Carla somehow cancel each other out in the eyes of the judges?

bh
Posted 2009-02-20 15:33:46
I agree that stripped of show-provided contrivances, Stefan could very well romp. But Carla's been on a hot-streak — like white hot, pretty much unconscious, turning impossible situations into winning dishes. The thing is, Stefan's a technician, Franz Liszt if you will (hence his lack of soul?) and Carla's, like, touched by the muse, a riffer (hence her inconsistency). I think if Carla's "in the zone" she'll be unbeatable. if not, she'll finish third. I don't think Hosea's ceiling is higher than second place. He'll be too bothered with what Stefan's doing. And I neither of the baldies considers it an even remote possibility that Carla can beat them — despite the fact that she's schooled them like three weeks running — which works in her favor. I'm calling it for Carla.

Adam
Posted 2009-02-20 17:01:56
So Stefan survived the chopping block, but it can't be because of his previous victories. They're pretty clear that contestants are judged solely on their performance in that week's elimination challenge. Remember when Padma got snippy with Toby in the farm-to-fork ep judging? Ariane buthcered (literally and metaphorically) the lamb, Toby dissed her skills, and Padma said that, no, Ariane had also cooked some really delicious things in the past. Toby countered, saying that aren't they supposed to be judging the chefs on that particular challenge only? Ergo, Stefan's food had to be better than Fabio's even if it had "no soul"--good one, Gail. But you do have to wonder, even subconsciously, if the judges take past performance into consideration. I don't know. I just hope Hosebeast (Drew, I'm running with it) doesn't win. He's this year's Lisa, only with a better haircut.

christine
Posted 2009-02-21 00:39:23
I really hope you're wrong, Drew, with the possibility of Hosea winning. How he's even made it this far is only a testament to the lackluster talent this season's chef's had to offer. That said, I'm also having a really hard time routing for either Stephan or Carla. I was glad to see Carla winning the last few rounds (and a car!) maybe only for her homespun charm and kookiness. I do believe Stephan will take the prize tho because I really think that every season the producers pick their winner mid-season (and yes I realize that's a conspiracy theory). Can't wait till Wednesday - sort of.
Posted by Drew Lazor @ 4:11 AM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Thursday, February 19, 2009, 2:42 AM
Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef

As promised: After the jump, I rank the remaining four Season 5 contestants in descending order in terms of how likely I think they are to win the title of Top Chef. Don't worry, I kept it as simple as possible. No rubrics or flow charts, just short/sweet reasoning. Please share your thoughts, and/or your own rankings, in the comments.

The new episode comes on in a few minutes. Let's talk more tomorrow.

1. Stefan

Quickfire Wins: 3

Elimination Wins: 4

Strengths: Stefan, a California-based caterer who was born in Finland and raised in Germany, is definitely the most refined member of the Final Four when you're talking pure skills. He displayed as much in Episode 11, when he wowed chef Eric Ripert with a near-perfect rendition of a Le Bernardin seafood dish. Plus, think about it in terms of diversity. Seasons 1 and 2 had white male winners (Harold and Ilan). Season 3 saw Vietnam native Hung take it home. Season 4 featured Stephanie, the very first female winner. Wouldn't it be cute and convenient for Season 5 to feature a Euro-bred Top Chef?

Weaknesses: The guy is a hothead, definitely does not work well with others (remember Episode 5, when Radhika said she'd rather cook with Satan than him?) and seems to get the hiccups when required to properly execute dishes driven by simplicity (see Episode 12, when he grossly overcooked Marcus Samuelsson's salmon). Then again, with the final challenge upon us, will any of these shortcomings even matter?

2. Carla

Quickfire Wins: 1

Elimination Wins: 3

Strengths: Carla owns a D.C.-based company called Alchemy Caterers, which carries the connotation of her turning crap into pure gold. She's been able to do as much with her late-season surge, which began with Episode 8's Blue Hill at Stone Barns group challenge and culminated last week in a Wylie Dufresne-approved egg Quickfire and a near-win for the "Last Supper" elimination. Also, remember how she took the win in Episode 10 with a gumbo she somehow pulled off in 20 minutes? The final challenge is taking place in New Orleans. A familiarity with EmerilLand cuisine cannot hurt her. She is a definite fan favorite, too, for her vivacious, odd-bird antics, which almost always translate well to the judges. (Except for Philly's Stephen Starr, who quite memorably expressed his desire to shake her.) Also, barring a few snafus (e.g. the non-frozen frozen yogurt from Restaurant Wars), Carla is the most talented baker and pastry chef remaining in the competition.

Weaknesses: Inconsistency. Carla wasn't able to turn on the afterburners until the final third of this season. Does she have enough left to keep a step ahead of Stefan in these crucial final episodes? As much as I would like to watch Carla win, I don't see it happening.

3. Fabio

Quickfire Wins: 0

Elimination Wins: 3

Strengths: Florentine Fabio, he of the unavoidably charming panty-disintegrating Italian accent, is definitely the ballsiest member of the Final Four. He's taken the most risks with his food, an approach that's brought him both success and spectacular failure. His unabashed boldness on the stove (he's basically the only contestant to toy with "molecular" techniques) separates him from his peers and solidifies him as a threat. If Fabio just wanted to phone it in, he could've dressed every one of his dishes up in Italian clothes, a la Rad's omnipresent Indian influence. But he hasn't done that, and has reached the finals on the strength of his originality in the kitchen.

Weaknesses: Somewhat obviously, his greatest strength doubles as his greatness weakness. I can definitely see Fabio sticking his neck out a little too far in the final challenge, miscalculating the balance between branding a dish his own and presenting something that is a triumph in a technical sense.

4. Hosea

Quickfire Wins: 1

Elimination Wins: 2

Strengths: Hosea, who's the head chef of a seafood restaurant in Boulder, Colorado, has won more challenges than it seems, mostly due to the fact that he's been a member of a winning group on several occasions. This means he's extremely good at teaming up. While this might not come into play in the final challenge, you never know what the Top Chef producers are gonna pull out of their crisp white sleeves. His outpalating of Stefan in Episode 5 showed that he knows ingredients, meaning he understands what the hell he's doing.

Weaknesses: Hosea's the classic example of a cheftestant who's dodged enough bullets, either through holding down the not-winning/not-losing middle of the pack or by coasting in a group situation, to sneak his way into the Final Four. Does he have enough imagination and individual chutzpah to stake his own culinary claim? I don't think so. Also: Stupid novelty T-shirts, stupid beard and he grossly made out with Leah that one time.


kibby
Posted 2009-02-19 12:13:08
I think that those octopuses that Padma's holding are even prettier than she is. 



Also, Hosea is fucking gross and I love Carla.

Meal Ticket :: Blog Archive :: Top Chef Season 5, Episode 13: Let the food times roll :: Philadelphia City Paper :: Philadelphia Arts, Restaurants, Music, Movies, Jobs, Classifieds, Blogs
Posted 2009-02-19 23:12:00
[...] BREW REVUE: Bell's Two Hearted• MEAL TICKET VIDEO: The $11-a-head Winter Dinner Party• Top Chef Season 5: Final Four power rankings!• Lovers and Madmen opening in March at 40th and Ludlow• SNACK TIME: Sneaking around [...] 

Meal Ticket :: Blog Archive :: Top Chef Season 5: Let’s hear your predictions for tomorrow night’s finale :: Philadelphia City Paper :: Philadelphia Arts, Restaurants, Music, Movies, Jobs, Classifieds, Blogs
Posted 2009-02-24 19:07:47
[...] Stefan? Lovable hippie-dip caterer Carla? Seafood-searing novelty T-shirt mannequin Hosea?I’ve already put my prediction out there. Share yours — and any salacious spoiler-riffic rumors you might’ve heard — in the [...] 
Posted by Drew Lazor @ 2:42 AM  Permalink | Post a comment
POSTED: Monday, February 16, 2009, 3:56 PM
Filed Under: Food TV

Twitter fanatic, UArts graduate and recent 10-Track Minder Daniel Delaney just launched VendrTV, a brand-new Web series focusing on street food — the "best curbside cuisine the the world has to offer."

For the debut episode, Delaney shares background on the Treats Truck, a mobile sweets shop in Midtown Manhattan. But before you start getting all "boo New York!" on us, know that he'll be queuing up at some of Philly's favorite sidewalk spots for future installments. (Fan up the show on Facebook to become eligible to win a Flip MinoHD camera.)

Philly street food fans: Have any suggestions for where Delaney and his crew should go? Shout at us in the comments.


FirstPost
Posted 2009-02-16 12:44:06
The crepe truck on Temple's campus

Meal Ticket :: Blog Archive :: VendrTV hits Christos’ Falafel at 20th and Market :: Philadelphia City Paper :: Philadelphia Arts, Restaurants, Music, Movies, Jobs, Classifieds, Blogs
Posted 2009-03-19 08:02:48
[...] the street food Web series that debuted in February, just released its first Philly episode. Check out host Daniel Delaney digging into a falafel [...] 
Posted by Drew Lazor @ 3:56 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
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Founded in October 2008, Meal Ticket is a City Paper blog about food, drink and assorted other things that make you go mmm. We do recipes, interviews, restaurant news, commentary and much more. We don't do restaurant reviews herethose are handled in print, mostly by our critic (and Meal Ticket contributor) Adam Erace. Got a tip, question, thought or concern? Just want to say hello? Please shoot a note to caroline@citypaper.net.

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