Filed Under: Food TV
| Top Chef
Thank God Top Chef
decided to start this episode by revisiting the English pea puree scandal that so rocked the competitive cooking show world
last week! I haven't been able to sleep. But pea puree theft victim Ed
, disappointingly, doesn't seem interested in taking the bait. "I'm not angry about the pea puree," he says. "I'm just, like, more confused. I'm perplexed. Now I'm just trying to focus on moving forward." Chief pea puree thief suspect Alex
, predictably, doesn't know nothing about nothing. The fuck, Top Chef
! I need answers. My wholly baseless conspiracy theory: Tom C
. stole the pea puree to give to his baby
and then bitched because there was no five spice in it.
Quickfire: Top Chef Masters
winner Marcus Samuelsson
shows up, along with the transcendently beautiful Padma
wearing what looks to be a pajama set from The Chronicles of Riddick
, to challenge the remaining cheftestants to cook food inspired by Samuelsson's native Ethiopia. I honestly had no idea that that was how you were supposed to pronounce "berbere," Marcus. I've been saying it like the carpet style for a minute, my bad.
, Kenny Blalicchio
and Ed have experience with the cuisine, but few others do, and that shows our dude Jersey Kev
is docked for his "shy" cooking, Stephen's
lamb meatballs aren't juicy enough and purported pea puree purloiner Alex's food is just too dry all around. Who did a solid job? Angelo, with a traditional-looking doro wat ("You sure you're not born in Ethiopia?" Samuelsson asks. He definitely looks like he was); Amanda
, who cranks out a nice goat dish; and Tiffany
, who makes a goulash hearty enough to impress Samuelsson and earn immunity. Yea Tiffany!
For what it's worth, tastiest Ethiopian food in Philly? Almaz Café
, 20th and Walnut. Flip the menu over!
Elimination: Samuelsson and Future Padma haul out a magnetic earth board that looks like it's from Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?
and tell the chefs that they're going to be cooking international cuisines for a group of diplomatics and foreign dignitaries, plus guest judge José Andrés
. This seems like it'd be such a good opportunity to assassinate someone! Next Bourne movie? Also, where is Rockapella
when you need them?
Ed is confident in his Chinese abilities because he's had a few Chinese girlfriends in the past. Ed's had a large diversity of girlfriends!
He does tea-smoked duck and potstickers that Andrés calls inauthentic but a Chinese dude calls authentic, which goes to show you how pointless it is to harp on the authenticity of anything. Texan Tiffany grabs Mexico and plans some chicken tamales. Angelo snags Japan (but of course!) and goes the sashimi route. ("I LOVE THE COLOR OF THIS TUNA!" Andrés later exclaims.) Elsewhere, Jersey Kev picks India even though he's got little Indian experience, Amanda goes French, Blalicchio goes Thai, Alex goes Spanish and Kelly chooses Italy. Stephen, meanwhile, draws Brazil and seems to be unaware that people in Brazil eat.
At the top: Jersey Kev stewed/spiced chicken, Kelly's simple beef carpaccio and Tiffany's tamales, which are praised by Tom C for having a distinct husk flavor (mmm, husk). She had immunity this ep anyway, but Tiff ends up pulling the two-fer anyway. Good on ya, Tiff!
At the bottom: Stephen, who messed up rice and mixed an "overpowering" chimichurri (isn't that Argentine anyway?); Ed, whose duck is poorly received even though that one Chinese dude liked it; and Alex, who's predictably in the bottom because who the hell wants to cook Spanish food for José Andrés? Stephen gets the boot a necessary move, I think, considering Ed's a serious contender and Alex is too hilarious not to keep around for a few more eps (did y'all see when he face-planted in the kitchen? Gold, Jerry, gold!)
Next week: Restaurant Wars! Always the best episode of the season. Looks like Jersey Kev is gonna be getting heated too, which should be great.
OK one more and I'm done: