Food TV

Top Chef D.C. Episode 10: The hour-long kiss goodnight

POSTED: Saturday, August 21, 2010, 12:35 AM

Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef

"If you don't want to get cut, you'll hand over the xanthan gum, pendejo."

First off, let me apologize for the tardiness of this recap I was attending a sneak peek of Robert Rodriguez's Machete, starring my dude Danny Trejo as a stoic blade-wielding ex-federale hero (and also LiLo as a sexy meth fiend in a nun's habit!), and I think that is as good a lame blogger excuse as any. The only problem is that the movie was so sickeningly badass that Machete has successfully infiltrated all my avenues of thought. Now do my bidding and STAB WILEY DUFRESNE RIGHT IN HIS TAPIOCA MALODEXTRIN-LOVING HEART, AND BRING THE TRANSCENDENTLY BEAUTIFUL INDIAN WOMAN TO ME! Quickfire: Yay, a despised bane of professional chefs worldwide and the reason Ted Allen still has steady TV work we're talking mystery boxes, jerks! You know they're the genuine article, too, because they have giant question marks on the sides, clearly denoting mysteryyyyyyyy. The remaining cheftestants just six left after this ep, meaning it can only get sillier/more entertaining from here start out with a box containing rockfish, fava beans and canned hominy. After 10 cooking minutes and at the end of two more 10-minute intervals after that, janky Secret Service-dressed dudes looking like they were fresh-plucked from a community theater production of The Matrix stomp in and drop off additional boxes, which the chefs then have to work into their dishes. Squid and black garlic and ramps and passion fruit start flying, the chefs start perspiring like they're on a Shawshank chain gang, and Dufresne just looks around shiftily, hoping (just HOPING!) someone pulls out agar-agar so he can practice his Disapproving Top Chef Judge Look.

"Wait, Kevin, you got a whole fish? I got The Riddler's porno stash."

Dufresne and Padma (hot third-grade-teacher-during-Halloween-season look, Padz!) stick my-man-is-still-here? Alex and the oily-fish-cooking Amanda at the bottom, and Tiffany and Jersey Kev at the top, but it's the so-hot-right-now Tiff's fish stew that wins her the QF and a $10,000 chunk of change. Kelly was about to complain that her Yucatan seafood stew should've placed, but then Machete looked at her like

So Kelly was like

That interaction didn't actually happen but it is awesome to think it did because it is far more interesting than the actual Quickfire. (If you don't know: Kelly's the one who just barely lost to our own Jose Garces on Iron Chef America a few months back.)

You know what they always say: the shittier/more hastily Photoshopped the laser eye death rays, the deadlier they are! Everyone I've ever met has said this

Elimination: The seven remaining chefs draw knives to get assigned various classic dishes (Jersey Kev yanks cobb salad, which apparently made Alex mad enough to pull a Cyclops) that they must "disguise" with technique well enough to fool the food-loving CIA, including strangely warm director Leon Panetta. Tiffany's excited, as she's a big La Femme Nikita fan!

Luc Besson would be so proud ...

Amanda, who lands French onion soup, expresses a desire to "seduce some secrets out of the KGB," which sounds like an awesome Lifetime movie that I would watch. Ed draws chicken cordon bleu and flips it/reverses it (chicken on the inside/ham on the outside); Tiff gets a gyro, which sounds really damn good right now; Angelo draws the food-for-reserved-English people Beef Wellington, and buys pre-made puff pastry (I tried to make that four years ago with very little success); Alex gets veal parm; and Kelly draws kung pao shrimp, which she's never made before. They present their dishes before Panetta and bunch of other spy types who probably have files stuffed with all our worst secrets on their BlackBerries, which gives them the right to be a little snooty, like Rubicon snooty. At the top La Femme Nikita's Tiffany's gyro, which Eric Ripert says is the most elegant he's ever had (you ever notice how Ripert and Dufresne and other chefs always eat stuff off their knives on these shows? is that like a chef thing, or can we start doing that too and cutting ourselves in the mouth?); Kelly's improv kung pao shrimp; and my-man-pots-and-pans Ed's cordon bleu (I think Ed has a real solid chance of taking the show, don't you?). Tiff, continuing her ridiculous hot streak, ends up with the win and a trip to Paris, where she will be required to drop a duffel bag containing a sniper rifle and a list of cryptic GPS coordinates in a storm drain beneath a snow-covered footbridge in the fifth arrondissement. At the bottom Alex, whose veal Tom C. said was "as tough as pulling a post in Yemen" (a lil' spy humor, nice! wait, why does Tom C. get to pull out spy humor?!); Amanda, with her too-sweet French onion; and Angelo, who clearly does a better job than me of making Beef Wellington but doesn't keep it tight enough to impress the judges. As we all suspected, this is Alex's week to go home. He packs his knives, taking the truth behind the Great Pea Puree Scandal of 2010 a national security issue if I've ever seen one with him.

Ticket Stubs: Meal Ticket Weekly Recap, August 16-20 :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-08-23 09:03:01

[...] and Bad Poetry Slam tonight!• NOW SEE THIS: Rachel Bloom, "Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury" Meal Ticket• Top Chef D.C. Episode 10: The hour-long kiss goodnight• Eating "From Beef Head Meat" at Los Taquitos de Puebla• Sept. 1: Burgundy dinner at [...]

Top Chef Not So Quickfire: WHAT’S IN THE BOX?! :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-08-23 10:17:44

[...] "Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury" Meal Ticket• Ticket Stubs: Meal Ticket Weekly Recap, August 16-20• Top Chef D.C. Episode 10: The hour-long kiss goodnight• Eating "From Beef Head Meat" at Los Taquitos de Puebla• Sept. 1: Burgundy dinner at [...]

Rock Colors

Posted 2010-08-21 00:18:10

Didn't see TC, but Machete stars LOTS of people and is the best movie I've seen in a long time. Seriously. It's not for everybody, but its brutal characterizations, political honesty and graphic horror (not to mention pseudo soft porn) come off as hysterical. 

GTG the image of Trejo is starting to scare me.

j leo

Posted 2010-08-21 13:54:37

I didn't think they could dump Kenny and then Angelo in consecutive weeks. Just not going to happen. Chaos averted, although Amanda is still there.

(Last year, there was a Facebook group for Kevin's beard. This year, my wife wants to start a group to kick Amanda out before the finale... or else. Cold blooded!)

Tiffany went from a personal favorite to spice it up to THE favorite, I believe.

What was up with Ripert and some others eating directly off their knives? Is that some cool chef thing we don't know about?

poncho

Posted 2010-08-22 00:00:46

I loved reading this recap but it made me jealous that I haven't seen Machete yet.

I also love that Tiff is doing well but at the same time it makes me uneasy.  I feel like she is primed to pull a Daniel Vosovic.

Morty

Posted 2010-08-22 00:05:30

You're an idiot, no person would eat food off a knife

G Nagle

Posted 2010-08-23 14:55:18

Shawshank = Andy Dufresne not Wiley Dufresne

Posted by Drew Lazor @ 12:35 AM Permalink | Post a comment

Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Off to the races E-races

POSTED: Monday, August 16, 2010, 7:50 PM

Filed Under: Food TV | Not So Quickfire | Top Chef

Get the flash player here: http://www.adobe.com/flashplayer

If youre a food nerd like me, you cant watch Top Chef without screaming obscenities at the contestants while peacefully pondering what youd whip up for Transcendently Beautiful Padma each Quickfire. If a case of backseat cooking is what ails ya, dig this fresh weekly column featuring recipes based on each TCQF. I liked this column a lot better when I was making food on toothpicks. Organizing a four-person Quickfire relay race identical to the one on Top Chef D.C.'s Restaurant Wars episode proved more difficult that youd think, but I forced against their will graciously invited three different kinds of cooks to participate cousin Melissa, she of epic porchetta and opulent pavlova; bro Andrew, whos just learning to cook without recipes; and mom Francine, whos been making mom food like meatloaf and macaroni "for 99 years," as she will happily tell you, and missed the Assumptions blessing of the ocean ceremony to be here today and is not happy about it. I asked each of these unwitting cohorts to describe their cooking style in one word. "Amateur." Andrew "I dont know. You should have told me this earlier. I didnt know there was going to be a pop quiz." Melissa "Old-school. Is that two words? Old-school, but not old-fashioned. How about Italian? Can I say that?" Mom Long sigh. Logistics: Ma Dukes would kick off, followed by Andrew and Melissa, cooking for 10 minutes each, while I chilled in a soundproof booth like a Miss America contestant. Id come in like Lidge, bottom-ninth to (hopefully) close. Any foods in the kitchen and garden would be fair game. Hostess with the Mostess Padma Penelope, what do you think of this plan?

"This bone is ... pungent."

Ready ... set ... let the relay race begin. The three 10-minute shifts flew by, punctuated intermittently by clattering pans, banging cabinets and lots of "Shitshitshit!" When it was my turn, I bounded into the kitchen to find dirty dishes, knives, colanders piled into the sink with moms contributions, sliced frozen carrots and a partially defrosted breaded chicken breast, discarded (smartly) by Andrew. On the stove, one burner had a pot of boiling water filled with fusilli; a saute of broccoli, onions, garlic, bell pepper and button mushrooms sizzled on another. I tested a strand of pasta, al dente, drained it off and set it aside, then dashed out to the yard, where I pinched off a few springs of globe basil and Mexican tarragon. I washed the herbs and set them on a paper towel to dry. "Five minutes!" I tasted the saute, checking for salt so as not to pull an Alex, added sel and black pepper and cranked the heat. From the fridge, I pulled out heavy cream and a jar of roasted peppers, added a little of each to the blender and zipped up a sauce that I added to the veggies. I separated the basils tiny leaves from stems and roughly chopped the tarragon, adding them both to the rust-colored sauce, bubbling and thickening like a magma. Three minutes! On a saucer off to the side, I found a "sandwich" of breaded sliced Jersey tomatoes filled with basil-flecked ricotta Melissas contribution, I guessed. The crumbs were damp, so I added more from the open can of Progresso on the kitchen table. I put the drained pasta pan back on the stove, added olive oil, blasted the heat and threw in the "sandwich" to crisp. One minute! I added the fusilli back to the pan of sauteed vegetables and roasted red pepper cream and tossed them together with tongs as the tomato-ricotta-napoleon started to sizzle. I wielded a spatula and flipped the tomatoes. "Sixteen seconds!" Plate down, pasta in. I pulled the tomato-ricotta sandwich, now golden brown and balanced it atop the curly noodles. To finish: grated Manchego, the nearest hard cheese I could find, dried chilies and the leaves of fresh basil. Considering the recipe came together blindly, it tasted pretty damn good and without any pea puree-related incidents.

Tweets that mention Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Off to the races E-races :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-08-16 16:22:02

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Adam Erace, Meal Ticket. Meal Ticket said: Awesome: @adamerace recreates #TopChef Quickfire relay race w/ his mom, brother @andrewerace & cousin: http://bit.ly/a1RBgw #topchefdc #tcdc [...]

On Wheels: Melange Tea Truck :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-10-18 14:36:20

[...] then we saw this picture of the Ginsburgss dog, Tank, on their website and melted. Awwww! You asked for more adorable dogs on Meal Ticket, you got [...]

Molly Eichel

Posted 2010-08-16 15:37:48

I second Erica. That's what this blog needs: less food, more adorable dogs.

Erica

Posted 2010-08-16 14:54:41

More photos of Penelope!

Posted by Adam Erace @ 7:50 PM Permalink | Post a comment

Top Chef D.C. Episode 9: War pigs

POSTED: Friday, August 13, 2010, 4:28 PM

Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef

Quickfire: It's time once more for the always-fun relay-race challenge, where the cheftestants must crank out dishes in teams of four, each chef responsible for a 10-minute "leg" of preparation his/her teammates cannot see, kind of like the fine-dining telephone game. Last season, I thought this blindfolded shitshow evoked a certain Lynchian doom. This season, though? Straight vintage-ass Madonna, y'all!

"Kelly, I want you to put your hands all over my body ... but wash them first, you just deveined a shitload of prawns ... "

What the hell, lemme get a little Johnny Mo from Kill Bill 1 in this bitch as well:

Michael Madsen's gonna come out smoking an American Spirit any second now, I can feel it!

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi comes bounding out in a smart pantsuit with the transcendently beautiful Padma and tells the chefs that she's been "a foodie for a long time." IMPEACH (can you impeach the speaker?). Deadpan Ed's team (Tiffany, Angelo and the reluctantly selected Alex) decides to prepare a roasted red snapper/wilted greens/maitake 'shroom dish, and see a great opportunity to take a dump on klutzy Alex a little more when he salts the fish too early ("I hope they find the umami delicious!" he says. DOUBLE IMPEACH), resulting in Angelo double-seasoning it and Pelosi rocking a politically savvy but still dissatisfied saline face. Jersey Kev's team, meanwhile (Kenny Blalicchio, Kelly and Amanda) crank out a sauteed shrimp dealie over angel hair pasta that Nance loves, adorably complimenting them for achieving a perfect al dente. OK you're allowed back in office now girl. Elimination: RESTAURANT WARS! This is always the best. Remember back in the day when they'd make the cheftestants decorate the restaurant in addition to conceive its menu, and Tom C. would bitch about things like the strength of scented candles? Some of the worst shit in show history. I'm glad they're just sticking them in pre-existing eateries now. Same teams as before ("It's the best against the beast," proclaims Blalicchio of his head-to-headwith Angelo). Former NYT food critic Frank Bruni, who seems about ready to launch a Bravo show of his own sometime soon (PITCH! Bruni and Jeff Lewis from Flipping Out fight each other in the American Gladiators "Joust" game for a full hour), is guest judge. Angelo's team calls itself Evoo after extra-virgin olive oil, pronounced "E-voo" and not an acronym like E-V-O-O, because if that happened all hell would break loose and some mafuckas would be out of work due to impending litigation and then this would happen foreal (OK maybe that'd be a good thing):

Evoo's theme is Mediterranean. Predictably, they stick the hapless-in-their-eyes Alex out in the front of the house to keep him away from the fire and knives, but he still managed to screw up butchering meat and filleting fish during the prep period. Regardless, Evoo's grub is particularly well-received, even by the notoriously tough Bruni (PITCH! Bruni and Kathy Griffin form a private investigation firm with a lovable 11-year-old autistic child named Manny. It's an unorthodox team, and Manny sure is a handful. But THEY GET RESULTS.) Ed's turbot dish is a standout for the judges. Anyone else notice that the pan-seared lamb chop Alex purportedly conceived contained ENGLISH PEA PUREE?

"This Bald Homies Association of America meeting will now come to order. Billy Zane will recount the minutes from last month."

Blalicchio's restaurant concept, serving "progressive American cuisine," is dubbed 2121 after the address of the Top Chef house. Kelly's out front, so she preps a cold soup and a dessert. Jersey Kev puts out a halibut dish that everyone loves, especially Bruni (PITCH! Bruni trades barbs with the Real Housewives of New Jersey while completing competitive aquatic challenges such as spear-fishing. Guy Fieri hosts). Team leader Blalicchio, unfortunately, puts out two dishes that earns negative reactions: a piled-way-too-high salad and a goat cheese dessert dish that's called "soapy and salty." At judges' table, Angelo's team earns the win, with Ed taking individual honors (and one big-ass bottle of Terlato wine that he's eager to crack open. open it with your shoe!) for his turbot. At the bottom is Blalicchio's squad, all of whom are angry as shit that one of them has to get slashed while Alex is able to coast through thanks to the work of his teammates. (Jersey Kev gets heated! Do it, Kev!) In a surely unpopular but ultimately necessary elimination, Blalicchio is given the boot for putting out two poor dishes. This sucks. Good thing his Bald Homies Association of America brethren are here to comfort him:

Who needs Top Chef when you're boys with Kojak and Ben Kingsley Gandhi, anyway?

Chris

Posted 2010-08-21 17:04:20

I will never watch this show again, after this episode!  Alex and his team violated the rules of the "wars" and still won.  Why have rules?!  Done!

j leo

Posted 2010-08-21 13:48:04

Still shocked to see Kenny go, after they hyped his rivalry with Angelo so much and had all the other chefs talking him up as a favorite. Maybe after last season, where the top 5 was mostly who people expected, they wanted a few surprises? 

Arnold and Kenny, gone before their time. Amanda, still hanging on despite all common sense. It's interesting but I wish she and Alex were gone a long time ago. 

I love the Bruni-Jeff Lewis idea, who would actually be a great guest judge on this show with snarky criticism. I'm surprised Bravo has resisted the cross-promotion so far.

danya

Posted 2010-08-15 18:48:11

1) there are only 2 urban dictionary definitions for "mafuckas." Which means it's a pretty badass word. 

2) pretty impressive handling of punctuation-parentheses issues.

3) Oscar the Grouch's girlfriend. Is that original? Because that takes the cake.

danya

Posted 2010-08-15 18:50:17

4) Damn you, because I am now craving an American Spirit cigarette.

Drew Lazor

Posted 2010-08-21 23:01:29

How was it, Rory?

Mandy Bee.

Posted 2010-08-13 12:37:16

I was sooo angry when Kenny got cut. We're talking actual banshee-like screaming and thrown shoes angry.

This season has been pretty great so far, but now I'm really not even sure who to root for. Maybe sassy Tiff. But if Angelo ends up taking this thing, things are gon git real ugly up in here.

Tweets that mention Top Chef D.C. Episode 9: War pigs :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-08-13 12:06:02

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Adam Erace, Meal Ticket. Meal Ticket said: TOP CHEF DC Episode 9 recap: read, comment! http://bit.ly/9O9dhN #topchef #topchefdc #tcdc [...]

rory

Posted 2010-08-13 12:04:08

Dear chefs I'm rooting for on top chef,

STOP BEING EXECUTIVE CHEF DURING RESTAURANT WARS, YOU NON-STRATEGIC THINKING IDIOTS.

signed,
rory.

although, kenny's inability to serve a single dish ("a duo of lamb" a "trio of something else") was getting almost as played out as Jamie's scallops a couple seasons ago. 

random sidenote: going to Kevin Gillespie's spot on saturday in ATL. anyone been? anything I *have* to get?

Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Off to the races E-races :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-08-16 14:53:22

[...] Monk's will reopen tomorrow, Aug. 14, at 5 p.m.• NOW OPEN: Karmichael's Kafe• Top Chef D.C. Episode 9: War pigs• 21st Annual Pennsylvania Dutch Festival at Reading Terminal Market Video Blog• Behind [...]

Posted by Drew Lazor @ 4:28 PM Permalink | Post a comment

Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Injera Report

POSTED: Friday, August 6, 2010, 8:08 PM

Filed Under: Food TV | Not So Quickfire | Recipes | Top Chef

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If youre a food nerd like me, you cant watch Top Chef without screaming obscenities at the contestants while peacefully pondering what youd whip up for Transcendently Beautiful Padma each episode. If a case of backseat cooking is what ails ya, dig this fresh weekly column featuring recipes based on each Top Chef Quickfire challenge. Have fun making injera, read the text from Drew Lazor, zapped to my phone as I gaped at Philly-chef-for-a-hot-minute/life-ruiner Marcus Samuelson on the TV screen. Sammy, born in Ethiopia and raised in Sweden, had just unleashed a monster of a Quickfire on the Top Chef contestant: prepare your take on an Ethiopian dish. And now I had to too. I considered making injera from scratch until I found out Id have to ferment the pancake-like batter for three days. Shortcut: I scooped some of the unleavened Ethiopian bread at West Phillys sunny Kaffa Crossing. The gentleman behind the counter seemed impressed your (white)boy was cooking a wat (stew) for dinner and assented to my begging for injera to go, which they typically dont do. Ok. Delivery will be here in five minutes, and soon a guy rolled in carrying a laundry basket full of the giant wheat-hued sourdough rounds. He made me buy a whole bag (about a dozen layers) for $6, and I hauled them out like a heap of heavy Persian rugs. Ive never cooked Ethiopian, but I have cooked chicken. So what Ive prepared for you today is a chicken wat, a la reasoning of Jersey Kev, with eggplant and chard. The stews doctored with a pilau spice blend I smuggled home from Tanzania, a short hop to Ethiopia, earlier this year. The fragrant potpourri of cumin, cardamom, cloves, black pepper and cinnamon is typically used to flavor rice, but Ive got it crusting Mountain View Poultry pastured chicken legs, an economic cut for an economic wat. This dish feed four for about $20.

Pilau Chicken Wat with Lime-Clove Raita(feeds 4)

Go Get This: ...for the chicken 4 whole legs chicken 2 oz. pilau spice (buy it at spice stores or make your own by toasting and grinding cumin, cardamom, cloves, black pepper and cinnamon) 1 medium eggplant, cubed 1 shallot, roughly chopped 1 bunch rainbow chard (or other sturdy green), stemmed and chopped into large ribbons ½ jalapeno 1 bottle dark beer 1 quart chicken stock 2 tbsp. olive oil Salt and pepper, to taste ...for the raita 1 cup plain yogurt ½ cucumber, seeded and finely diced ½ lime, juiced 1 tsp. cloves, toasted and ground Salt and pepper, to taste Now Do This: First, preheat the oven to 300. Then, make the raita by combining the yogurt, lime juice, ground cloves and salt and pepper to taste in a mixing bowl. Whisk together and gently fold in diced cucumbers. Cover with plastic wrap and chill. Get the olive oil warming in deep-bottomed Dutch oven over medium heat. For the chicken, lay the legs out in a baking dish and liberally rub both sides with salt, pepper and pilau spices. (You can do this ahead of time, if youd like; just cover a refrigerate.) Once the oil is hot, sear the legs skin-side down, two at a time. If your pot is bigger than mine, feel free to do them all at once. The spices will toast and skin will brown up in about 8 minutes. Flip and sear an additional 8 minutes. Transfer chicken back to the baking dish and reduce the heat to medium-low. Add the eggplant to the pan. Saute 5 minutes. Add the shallots and jalapeno. Saute an additional 5 minutes. Deglaze with a splash of beer, scraping up all the delicious brown chicken bits on the bottom of the pan. Return chicken to the pot, cover with remaining beer and stock, and finally add the chard. Cover and transfer to the oven. Cook at 300. After 2 and ½ hours, wats up. Serve over injera with raita on the side. Eat with hands.

Tweets that mention Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Injera Report :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-08-06 16:05:09

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Lisa Chan-Simms, Meal Ticket. Meal Ticket said: Wat up, P? @adamerace cooks Ethiopian for this week's Not So Quickfire challenge http://tinyurl.com/2cvc4yc [...]

Adam Erace

Posted 2010-08-08 00:19:03

Pequea is the bomb for sure. Thick but not Greek-thick, tangy but not so much that you need to sweeten it. God bless the Amish.

Dave

Posted 2010-08-06 16:39:01

now I got the hungers for Abyssinia's Kitfo, a carnivore's dish

Danya

Posted 2010-08-07 20:41:25

Nice use of Pequea yogurt, btw

Notes from the Weekend: August 9 :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-08-09 18:43:55

[...] This Sunday, get "closer to the roaster" at La Colombe• More 13th Street Philly froyo!?• Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Injera Report Video Blog• Behind the Scenes with Kurt Vile• PSN Dodgeball Leagues• Tricking [...]

danya

Posted 2010-08-06 15:18:45

Almaz Cafe on 20th & Walnut also has injera. Very tasty, too.

danya

Posted 2010-08-06 15:27:03

Oh.... already mentioned. That's what I get for reading the recipe prior to the recap.

Posted by Adam Erace @ 8:08 PM Permalink | Post a comment

Top Chef D.C. Episode 8: Planet rock

POSTED: Friday, August 6, 2010, 6:22 PM

Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef

Thank God Top Chef decided to start this episode by revisiting the English pea puree scandal that so rocked the competitive cooking show world last week! I haven't been able to sleep. But pea puree theft victim Ed, disappointingly, doesn't seem interested in taking the bait. "I'm not angry about the pea puree," he says. "I'm just, like, more confused. I'm perplexed. Now I'm just trying to focus on moving forward." Chief pea puree thief suspect Alex, predictably, doesn't know nothing about nothing. The fuck, Top Chef! I need answers. My wholly baseless conspiracy theory: Tom C. stole the pea puree to give to his baby and then bitched because there was no five spice in it.

Quickfire: Top Chef Masters winner Marcus Samuelsson shows up, along with the transcendently beautiful Padma wearing what looks to be a pajama set from The Chronicles of Riddick, to challenge the remaining cheftestants to cook food inspired by Samuelsson's native Ethiopia. I honestly had no idea that that was how you were supposed to pronounce "berbere," Marcus. I've been saying it like the carpet style for a minute, my bad. Angelo, Kenny Blalicchio and Ed have experience with the cuisine, but few others do, and that shows our dude Jersey Kev is docked for his "shy" cooking, Stephen's lamb meatballs aren't juicy enough and purported pea puree purloiner Alex's food is just too dry all around. Who did a solid job? Angelo, with a traditional-looking doro wat ("You sure you're not born in Ethiopia?" Samuelsson asks. He definitely looks like he was); Amanda, who cranks out a nice goat dish; and Tiffany, who makes a goulash hearty enough to impress Samuelsson and earn immunity. Yea Tiffany! For what it's worth, tastiest Ethiopian food in Philly? Almaz Café, 20th and Walnut. Flip the menu over!

Elimination: Samuelsson and Future Padma haul out a magnetic earth board that looks like it's from Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? and tell the chefs that they're going to be cooking international cuisines for a group of diplomatics and foreign dignitaries, plus guest judge José Andrés. This seems like it'd be such a good opportunity to assassinate someone! Next Bourne movie? Also, where is Rockapella when you need them? Ed is confident in his Chinese abilities because he's had a few Chinese girlfriends in the past. Ed's had a large diversity of girlfriends! He does tea-smoked duck and potstickers that Andrés calls inauthentic but a Chinese dude calls authentic, which goes to show you how pointless it is to harp on the authenticity of anything. Texan Tiffany grabs Mexico and plans some chicken tamales. Angelo snags Japan (but of course!) and goes the sashimi route. ("I LOVE THE COLOR OF THIS TUNA!" Andrés later exclaims.) Elsewhere, Jersey Kev picks India even though he's got little Indian experience, Amanda goes French, Blalicchio goes Thai, Alex goes Spanish and Kelly chooses Italy. Stephen, meanwhile, draws Brazil and seems to be unaware that people in Brazil eat.

At the top: Jersey Kev stewed/spiced chicken, Kelly's simple beef carpaccio and Tiffany's tamales, which are praised by Tom C for having a distinct husk flavor (mmm, husk). She had immunity this ep anyway, but Tiff ends up pulling the two-fer anyway. Good on ya, Tiff! At the bottom: Stephen, who messed up rice and mixed an "overpowering" chimichurri (isn't that Argentine anyway?); Ed, whose duck is poorly received even though that one Chinese dude liked it; and Alex, who's predictably in the bottom because who the hell wants to cook Spanish food for José Andrés? Stephen gets the boot a necessary move, I think, considering Ed's a serious contender and Alex is too hilarious not to keep around for a few more eps (did y'all see when he face-planted in the kitchen? Gold, Jerry, gold!)

Next week: Restaurant Wars! Always the best episode of the season. Looks like Jersey Kev is gonna be getting heated too, which should be great. OK one more and I'm done:

Elad

Posted 2010-08-06 13:31:42

I can't believe you went that whole recap without one pic of Tom C. and the chief from Carmen!!!

poncho

Posted 2010-08-06 14:28:50

Such good photoshopping in this recap - I think my fav is the Chronicles of Riddick!

Almaz is has amazing Ethopian!

Tweets that mention Top Chef D.C. Episode 8: Planet rock :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-08-06 13:45:55

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Philly City Paper, Meal Ticket. Meal Ticket said: Top Chef DC Episode 8 recap  read, comment! http://bit.ly/cE4O8H [...]

Top Chef D.C. Episode 9: War pigs :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-08-13 11:30:51

[...] Anyone else notice that the pan-seared lamb chop Alex purportedly conceived contained ENGLISH PEA PUREE? [...]

Top Chef D.C. Episode 13 (Finale Part 1): Holy Asian Extravaganza! :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-09-20 00:18:49

[...] Episode 8. Ethiopian and offending ethnic sensibilities. Stephen goes home. [...]

Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Off to the races E-races :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-08-16 15:08:39

[...] the recipe came together blindly, it tasted pretty damn good  and without any pea puree-related incidents.     Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Off to the races [...]

j leo

Posted 2010-08-08 16:05:01

I'm still getting over my Arnold withdrawl, but I think I'm back into this now. The pea puree scandal was fun and I think I like Tiffany the best, so I'm glad to see her assert herself as a contender. At least she'll bring some of the sass Arnold would. But I can still be angry that Amanda and Alex are still there undeservedly.

Maybe Amanda should try to have an affair with one of the male contenders. It worked for Leah (she was in trouble, but her romance with Josea dragged that season along).

I think I saw Rockapella on the corner of the Warner Bros. lot, trying to crank out some doo-wop for change.

G Nagle

Posted 2010-08-07 11:23:10

Alex's stumble was hilarious. We had to rewind it a few times for a better look. Those tamales looked amazing. I've only started eating tamales recently, and none of them have looked like that!

CMF

Posted 2010-08-10 03:08:44

i must have rewound this episode 5x to watch ed give tiffany the "you did it!" look after the quickfire.  this season doesn't hold a candle to last season but it's the little things that keep me watching now.

Colleen

Posted 2010-08-06 15:35:51

Dude, why is Amanda still around? I just want to punch her in the face. I agree that Stephen had to go but her being consistently mediocre is SO annoying.

Posted by Drew Lazor @ 6:22 PM Permalink | Post a comment

Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Ethical Toothpicks

POSTED: Saturday, July 31, 2010, 12:04 AM

Filed Under: Food TV | Not So Quickfire | Recipes | Top Chef

Get the flash player here: http://www.adobe.com/flashplayer

Blue Cheese-Stuffed Meatballs on Heirloom Tomato "Buns" (makes 20)

Go Get This: 1 lb. ground beef 20 heirloom cherry tomatoes 2 shallots 1/2 lb. blue cheese, slightly frozen 1 jalapeno (seed it to dial down the spice) 1 egg 1 tsp. fennel pollen (or ground fennel seed), plus a sprinkle Drizzle of good extra-virgin olive oil Handful of fresh basil Salt and pepper to taste Now Do This: Rough-chop shallots. Separate basil, leaving small leaves intact; roughly tear or chop large leaves. Separate egg yolk from white. Thinly slice jalapeno. Dice blue cheese. (It's helpful to pop the cheese in the freezer, both before and after dicing, for a few minutes.) Make the meatballs: Combine beef, shallots, basil, fennel pollen, yolk and salt and pepper in mixing bowl. Use your mitts to combine. Working one at a time, grab golf ball-size chunks and roll between your hands to form a sphere. Use your thumb to create a depression in the meat and place on a plate. Repeat until you have 20 balls (you'll have extra meat). Pull blue cheese from freezer and tuck a piece into each depression. Pinch tops of the balls closed around cheese. If necessary, add beef and re-roll so balls are smooth and even. Refrigerate meatballs for at least half an hour. Meanwhile, prep the tomatoes: After washing, remove any stems. Using a serrated knife, slice a small "foot" off the bottom of each tomato so they'll stand up straight. Cut each tomato in half around its equator, creating top and bottom "buns." Arrange on a plate, drizzle with olive oil, season with salt and pepper, sprinkle with fennel pollen and small basil leaves (or torn large leaves). Chill. Now, cook the meatballs: In a deep-bottomed skillet, heat a tablespoon of olive oil over medium-high heat. Remove meatballs from the fridge and place in the hot pan (you should hear a sizzl)e. Sear on one side until caramelized, about 5 minutes. Flip and reduce heat to medium; cook an additional 10 minutes. Transfer meatballs onto a plate lined with paper towels to blot up any extra oil. Finally, put it together: Take tomato top and thread it onto a toothpick, followed by a jalapeno slice, meatball and tomato bottom. Stand up straight.

Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Off to the races E-races :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-08-16 14:52:12

[...] liked this column a lot better when I was making food on toothpicks. Organizing a four-person Quickfire relay race identical to the one on Top Chef D.C.’s [...]

Felicia D'Ambrosio

Posted 2010-08-02 11:34:25

Lobb-a-licious!  Now where's the bill that benefits myself and my constituents!

danya

Posted 2010-07-30 20:43:18

Have y'all trademarked "transcendently beautiful Padma" yet? Because a google search for the term leads to a few observations:

1) Pretty much all the first page is links to your posts. Or, links to links to your posts (USA Today's got your stuff?!)

2) Babynamewizard.com says: "'Padma' means 'lotus' in Sanskrit. In Hinduism and Buddhism, the lotus is a symbol of purity and TRANCENDENCE, its beautiful blossoms floating above the..."

3) The first two links for me are Viagra-MealTicket-posts, but such is life...

Also, recipe sounds delish.

Tweets that mention Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Ethical Toothpicks :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-07-30 21:44:01

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Bobbie Hayes and Adam Erace, Meal Ticket. Meal Ticket said: Check out @adamerace's #TopChef Not So Quickfire recipe for Blue Cheese-Stuffed Meatballs on Heirloom Tomato "Buns": http://bit.ly/9zb8sj [...]

Posted by Adam Erace @ 12:04 AM Permalink | Post a comment

Top Chef D.C. Episode 7: Schock therapy

POSTED: Friday, July 30, 2010, 8:45 PM

Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef

Pea puree pea puree pea puree pea puree pea puree pea puree pea puree.

"For your Quickfire challenge, Congressman Schock is going to perform weird 'tickle play' acts on all the male cheftestants, then roundly deny it in the press. Your time to run begins NOW!"

Quickfire: The cheftestants are visited by Rep. Aaron Schock (R-Illinois), who would totally be played by a sun-kissed Patrick Wilson in a biopic:

Weird thing about this pic: Patrick Wilson is clothed. That dude is ALWAYS NAKED

Congressman Schock explains that quasi-recent Capitol Hill ethics reform has resulted in a rule barring lobbyists from excessive wining-and-dining of lawmakers all food at hob-nobby functions must be able to be served on a toothpick and eaten while standing, so the chefs have to whip up a dish-on-a-stick to impress a guy who, despite his unwitting/awesome status as a gay icon, doesn't think gay-bashing should be considered a hate crime.

Lil' Arnold Face in drag for ya, Schock! Eat it! On a stick!

At the bottom: the increasingly villainous Alex, whose bacon/scallop/strawberry/basil is too busy and cannot be saved by a patriotic stars-and-bars toothpick; Greatest-Generation Ed, who uses a Polynesian cocktail umbrella (!) for his duo of tuna; and Kelly, who's informed her scallop/watermelon stick lacks flavor. At the top: Our dude Jersey Kev gets a nod for his grilled pork kabob, Angelo "brings back" the cucumber cup and provides the Schockster with "fireworks in my mouth," and a confident Stephen impresses dude with a rich scallop/beef/bernaise trio (There's a lot on that stick, I really enjoyed that!" says the politician. hahah). Angelo, though, wins immunity and $20K for his cuke cup, quite possibly the largest-gapped low-risk/high-reward victory since they gave the American Idol belt to that kid who mows my lawn instead of that coiffure eyeliner sex robot guy.

"Hmm, which of these sexy mesclun mixes would I rather bang..."

Elimination: The chefs must prepare a "power lunch" at the Palm D.C. gonna go ahead and assume they have slightly more credible wall caricatures than our Larry Mendte and Alycia Lane heads using a random meat/seafood. Tasters include Joe Scarborough, why-hell0-there NBC White House correspondent Savannah Guthrie and now-extremely-skinny guest judge chef Art Smith. Jersey Kev, who was chef de cuisine at the Grill at the Ritz-Carlton in the pre-10 Arts era, knows all about the challenge, as he cooked for John Street and crew once a week back in the day. Amanda, on the other hand, admits she's never cooked a porterhouse before, and proceeds to take all the meat off the bone, which means it's not really a porterhouse anymore. She also forgets to bring salt and pepper (?!), so she runs around on some "you can't spare one square?"-type mission for awhile. Ed gets down ripping apart lobsters with his bare hands, while Alex raves about "dinosaur-style" salmon portions. Tiffany finds time during all this to proclaim that she and Ed and not, I repeat not, shacking up on some Top Chef love stuff. "I got a man!" she exclaims. Which of course makes me think like:

Ed's Big Daddy Longstroke and your man's Pee Wee Herman!

Then there's the pea puree. Ed makes one for his lobster dish, but it goes mysteriously missing ... around the same time a pea puree materializes on Alex's salmon plate. Everyone whispers and chats and theorizes about where Ed's puree went off to on some Double P is for Pea Puree Sue Grafton type shit, and some people suspect Alex but no one says anything to him! What's the worst is that Alex and Ed, along with Tiffany, end up in the top three and Art Smith ends up giving Alex the W and raving about the puree like crazy. Rough, Positive K Ed! Of course, we're not provided with a lick of actual evidence implicating Alex as pea puree thief but it's certainly curious. Good job Top Chef, you made pea puree interesting! At the bottom: Jersey Kev, who overcooks lamb; Kelly, who way oversalts her porterhouse steak (at least what she served was a porterhouse, though!); and Andrea, who chooses to top swordfish with a crazy-sounding vanilla bean mustard beurre blanc that just sounds disconcerting. That wacky sauce, as you might imagine, gets her the boot.

Top Chef D.C. Episode 8: Planet rock :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-08-06 13:22:36

[...] God Top Chef decided to start this episode by revisiting the English pea puree scandal that so rocked the competitive cooking show world last week! I haven’t been able to sleep. But pea puree theft victim Ed, disappointingly, [...]

Top Chef D.C. Episode 10: The hour-long kiss goodnight :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-08-21 10:55:06

[...] all suspected, this is Alex’s week to go home. He packs his knives, taking the truth behind the Great Pea Puree Scandal of 2010  a national security issue if I’ve ever seen one  with him.   Top Chef D.C. Episode 10: [...]

Molly Eichel

Posted 2010-07-30 17:06:57

Dearest Tiffany,

You are a sass factory like no other and you can cook the shit out of some swordfish. Let's become BFFs.

Love,

Molly

Kendall

Posted 2010-07-30 18:09:51

I can't stop laughing at the second Positive K pic, dying over here.

Tweets that mention Top Chef D.C. Episode 7: Schock therapy :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-07-30 18:37:16

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Philly City Paper, Drew Lazor and Adam Erace, Meal Ticket. Meal Ticket said: Top Chef DC Episode 7 recap  read, comment! http://bit.ly/cocm2M #topchef #topchefdc #tcdc [...]

Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Ethical Toothpicks :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-07-30 19:04:58

[...] until November; have a dance party anyway• NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH: Lilith Fair edition Meal Ticket• Top Chef D.C. Episode 7: Schock therapy• Adsum launches brunch• Grubbin' at this weekend's DooWop Car Show• EAT THIS [...]

Posted by Drew Lazor @ 8:45 PM Permalink | Post a comment

Best two minutes of your day: Iron Chef America chairman's secret ingredients

POSTED: Wednesday, July 28, 2010, 8:16 PM

Filed Under: Food TV | Video

Our favorite is probably "BARRAMUNDI!" Only the Strong is still Mark Dacascos' finest work, though. Saving lives with the power of Brazilian dance fighting, man. (h/t Adam Riff)

Anthony Sica

Posted 2010-07-28 15:57:51

Honey!!!!!!

Tweets that mention Best two minutes of your day: Iron Chef America chairmans secret ingredients :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-07-28 16:00:55

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Bill Kang, Meal Ticket. Meal Ticket said: Awesome collection of @IronChefAmerica chairman's secret ingredient reveals (h/t @adamriffs): http://bit.ly/bHikc1 [...]

Johnny Utah

Posted 2010-07-28 16:38:11

Wow.

BEEEEEEEeeeeeeeEEErrrrrrRRR

Posted by Drew Lazor @ 8:16 PM Permalink | Post a comment

Twofold Philly love on Food Network tonight

POSTED: Monday, July 26, 2010, 4:33 PM

Filed Under: Food TV

Courtesy of Lolita

Man, Food Network is obsessed with us recently. In addition to the local 24 Hour Restaurant Battle couple we told you about last week, the 215's racking up a little more love this evening, and it's sweet on both counts. Rebecca Michaels' Flying Monkey Patisserie will be featured on fellow Phillyite Adam Gertler's new sweets show Kid in a Candy Store at 8:30 p.m. Half an hour later, peep the Mexican tiramisu (above) from Valerie Safran and Marcie Turney's Lolita discussed by Robert Irvine on the show The Best Thing I Ever Ate.

Tweets that mention Twofold Philly love on Food Network tonight :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-07-26 12:10:05

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Phillyist, hchybinski and Where Philadelphia, Meal Ticket. Meal Ticket said: Lots of love for Philly sweets on @FoodNetwork tonight: http://bit.ly/dfGkQ6 [...]

Phyllis Stein-Novack

Posted 2010-07-26 13:28:55

I only eat dessert on days that begin with an "S," on holidays and special occasions. I could jump right through my computer sscreen right now and devour the Mexican tiramisu from Lolita. I would share, of course.

poncho

Posted 2010-07-26 17:21:59

I'm like 95% positive Adam Gertler was my server at Amada one time...

Posted by Drew Lazor @ 4:33 PM Permalink | Post a comment

Philly team's 24 Hour Restaurant Battle airs in August

POSTED: Friday, July 23, 2010, 7:41 PM

Filed Under: Food TV

Courtesy of Food Network

Way back in April, we told you about Philly-based couple Lisa Fernandez and Zack Gaynor (above) appearing on the Food Network show 24 Hour Restaurant Battle, which involves two teams of two battling to get a drop-of-a-hat eatery up and running while host Scott Conant and other judges look on. Though we originally thought the episode would debut this month, Food Network tells Meal Ticket it will air on August 11. Fernandez currently works as a trauma clinician for the Devereux Foundation, while Zack works at Rum Bar at 20th and Walnut.

Tweets that mention Philly teams 24 Hour Restaurant Battle airs in August :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-07-23 23:01:42

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Becky Carter, Meal Ticket. Meal Ticket said: Philly teams "24 Hour Restaurant Battle" episode airs on @FoodNetwork in August: http://bit.ly/cfSVoZ [...]

Twofold Philly love on Food Network tonight :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-07-26 11:33:26

[...] July 19-23• A Tasty Bon Voyage: Outgoing CP critic Trey Popp's five most memorable reviews• Philly team's 24 Hour Restaurant Battle airs in August• Sandwich Tour 2010 begins today, and we need your suggestions!• Top Chef D.C. Episode [...]

Posted by Drew Lazor @ 7:41 PM Permalink | Post a comment

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If you don't know Nutella is bad for you and your kids, then you are a total idiot and a bad parent.
First Gigs: Jeff Ziga, Little Baby's Ice Cream
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Bar Crawl: What's new at Ortlieb's
Afternoon Snacks: Richard Blais's Ikea Burger, Waffle "tacos," Coffee nerdery, The U.N. wants you to eat more bugs
Extra! Extra! Lobster openings, chocolate closings and lots of free stuff
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Night Market Watch

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Founded in October 2008, Meal Ticket is a City Paper blog about food, drink and assorted other things that make you go mmm. We do recipes, interviews, restaurant news, commentary and much more. We don't do restaurant reviews here — those are handled in print, mostly by our critic (and Meal Ticket contributor) Adam Erace. Got a tip, question, thought or concern? Just want to say hello? Please shoot a note to caroline@citypaper.net.

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