Top Chef

Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Off to the races E-races

POSTED: Monday, August 16, 2010, 7:50 PM

Filed Under: Food TV | Not So Quickfire | Top Chef

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If youre a food nerd like me, you cant watch Top Chef without screaming obscenities at the contestants while peacefully pondering what youd whip up for Transcendently Beautiful Padma each Quickfire. If a case of backseat cooking is what ails ya, dig this fresh weekly column featuring recipes based on each TCQF. I liked this column a lot better when I was making food on toothpicks. Organizing a four-person Quickfire relay race identical to the one on Top Chef D.C.'s Restaurant Wars episode proved more difficult that youd think, but I forced against their will graciously invited three different kinds of cooks to participate cousin Melissa, she of epic porchetta and opulent pavlova; bro Andrew, whos just learning to cook without recipes; and mom Francine, whos been making mom food like meatloaf and macaroni "for 99 years," as she will happily tell you, and missed the Assumptions blessing of the ocean ceremony to be here today and is not happy about it. I asked each of these unwitting cohorts to describe their cooking style in one word. "Amateur." Andrew "I dont know. You should have told me this earlier. I didnt know there was going to be a pop quiz." Melissa "Old-school. Is that two words? Old-school, but not old-fashioned. How about Italian? Can I say that?" Mom Long sigh. Logistics: Ma Dukes would kick off, followed by Andrew and Melissa, cooking for 10 minutes each, while I chilled in a soundproof booth like a Miss America contestant. Id come in like Lidge, bottom-ninth to (hopefully) close. Any foods in the kitchen and garden would be fair game. Hostess with the Mostess Padma Penelope, what do you think of this plan?

"This bone is ... pungent."

Ready ... set ... let the relay race begin. The three 10-minute shifts flew by, punctuated intermittently by clattering pans, banging cabinets and lots of "Shitshitshit!" When it was my turn, I bounded into the kitchen to find dirty dishes, knives, colanders piled into the sink with moms contributions, sliced frozen carrots and a partially defrosted breaded chicken breast, discarded (smartly) by Andrew. On the stove, one burner had a pot of boiling water filled with fusilli; a saute of broccoli, onions, garlic, bell pepper and button mushrooms sizzled on another. I tested a strand of pasta, al dente, drained it off and set it aside, then dashed out to the yard, where I pinched off a few springs of globe basil and Mexican tarragon. I washed the herbs and set them on a paper towel to dry. "Five minutes!" I tasted the saute, checking for salt so as not to pull an Alex, added sel and black pepper and cranked the heat. From the fridge, I pulled out heavy cream and a jar of roasted peppers, added a little of each to the blender and zipped up a sauce that I added to the veggies. I separated the basils tiny leaves from stems and roughly chopped the tarragon, adding them both to the rust-colored sauce, bubbling and thickening like a magma. Three minutes! On a saucer off to the side, I found a "sandwich" of breaded sliced Jersey tomatoes filled with basil-flecked ricotta Melissas contribution, I guessed. The crumbs were damp, so I added more from the open can of Progresso on the kitchen table. I put the drained pasta pan back on the stove, added olive oil, blasted the heat and threw in the "sandwich" to crisp. One minute! I added the fusilli back to the pan of sauteed vegetables and roasted red pepper cream and tossed them together with tongs as the tomato-ricotta-napoleon started to sizzle. I wielded a spatula and flipped the tomatoes. "Sixteen seconds!" Plate down, pasta in. I pulled the tomato-ricotta sandwich, now golden brown and balanced it atop the curly noodles. To finish: grated Manchego, the nearest hard cheese I could find, dried chilies and the leaves of fresh basil. Considering the recipe came together blindly, it tasted pretty damn good and without any pea puree-related incidents.

Tweets that mention Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Off to the races E-races :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-08-16 16:22:02

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Adam Erace, Meal Ticket. Meal Ticket said: Awesome: @adamerace recreates #TopChef Quickfire relay race w/ his mom, brother @andrewerace & cousin: http://bit.ly/a1RBgw #topchefdc #tcdc [...]

On Wheels: Melange Tea Truck :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-10-18 14:36:20

[...] then we saw this picture of the Ginsburgss dog, Tank, on their website and melted. Awwww! You asked for more adorable dogs on Meal Ticket, you got [...]

Molly Eichel

Posted 2010-08-16 15:37:48

I second Erica. That's what this blog needs: less food, more adorable dogs.

Erica

Posted 2010-08-16 14:54:41

More photos of Penelope!

Posted by Adam Erace @ 7:50 PM Permalink | Post a comment

Top Chef D.C. Episode 9: War pigs

POSTED: Friday, August 13, 2010, 4:28 PM

Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef

Quickfire: It's time once more for the always-fun relay-race challenge, where the cheftestants must crank out dishes in teams of four, each chef responsible for a 10-minute "leg" of preparation his/her teammates cannot see, kind of like the fine-dining telephone game. Last season, I thought this blindfolded shitshow evoked a certain Lynchian doom. This season, though? Straight vintage-ass Madonna, y'all!

"Kelly, I want you to put your hands all over my body ... but wash them first, you just deveined a shitload of prawns ... "

What the hell, lemme get a little Johnny Mo from Kill Bill 1 in this bitch as well:

Michael Madsen's gonna come out smoking an American Spirit any second now, I can feel it!

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi comes bounding out in a smart pantsuit with the transcendently beautiful Padma and tells the chefs that she's been "a foodie for a long time." IMPEACH (can you impeach the speaker?). Deadpan Ed's team (Tiffany, Angelo and the reluctantly selected Alex) decides to prepare a roasted red snapper/wilted greens/maitake 'shroom dish, and see a great opportunity to take a dump on klutzy Alex a little more when he salts the fish too early ("I hope they find the umami delicious!" he says. DOUBLE IMPEACH), resulting in Angelo double-seasoning it and Pelosi rocking a politically savvy but still dissatisfied saline face. Jersey Kev's team, meanwhile (Kenny Blalicchio, Kelly and Amanda) crank out a sauteed shrimp dealie over angel hair pasta that Nance loves, adorably complimenting them for achieving a perfect al dente. OK you're allowed back in office now girl. Elimination: RESTAURANT WARS! This is always the best. Remember back in the day when they'd make the cheftestants decorate the restaurant in addition to conceive its menu, and Tom C. would bitch about things like the strength of scented candles? Some of the worst shit in show history. I'm glad they're just sticking them in pre-existing eateries now. Same teams as before ("It's the best against the beast," proclaims Blalicchio of his head-to-headwith Angelo). Former NYT food critic Frank Bruni, who seems about ready to launch a Bravo show of his own sometime soon (PITCH! Bruni and Jeff Lewis from Flipping Out fight each other in the American Gladiators "Joust" game for a full hour), is guest judge. Angelo's team calls itself Evoo after extra-virgin olive oil, pronounced "E-voo" and not an acronym like E-V-O-O, because if that happened all hell would break loose and some mafuckas would be out of work due to impending litigation and then this would happen foreal (OK maybe that'd be a good thing):

Evoo's theme is Mediterranean. Predictably, they stick the hapless-in-their-eyes Alex out in the front of the house to keep him away from the fire and knives, but he still managed to screw up butchering meat and filleting fish during the prep period. Regardless, Evoo's grub is particularly well-received, even by the notoriously tough Bruni (PITCH! Bruni and Kathy Griffin form a private investigation firm with a lovable 11-year-old autistic child named Manny. It's an unorthodox team, and Manny sure is a handful. But THEY GET RESULTS.) Ed's turbot dish is a standout for the judges. Anyone else notice that the pan-seared lamb chop Alex purportedly conceived contained ENGLISH PEA PUREE?

"This Bald Homies Association of America meeting will now come to order. Billy Zane will recount the minutes from last month."

Blalicchio's restaurant concept, serving "progressive American cuisine," is dubbed 2121 after the address of the Top Chef house. Kelly's out front, so she preps a cold soup and a dessert. Jersey Kev puts out a halibut dish that everyone loves, especially Bruni (PITCH! Bruni trades barbs with the Real Housewives of New Jersey while completing competitive aquatic challenges such as spear-fishing. Guy Fieri hosts). Team leader Blalicchio, unfortunately, puts out two dishes that earns negative reactions: a piled-way-too-high salad and a goat cheese dessert dish that's called "soapy and salty." At judges' table, Angelo's team earns the win, with Ed taking individual honors (and one big-ass bottle of Terlato wine that he's eager to crack open. open it with your shoe!) for his turbot. At the bottom is Blalicchio's squad, all of whom are angry as shit that one of them has to get slashed while Alex is able to coast through thanks to the work of his teammates. (Jersey Kev gets heated! Do it, Kev!) In a surely unpopular but ultimately necessary elimination, Blalicchio is given the boot for putting out two poor dishes. This sucks. Good thing his Bald Homies Association of America brethren are here to comfort him:

Who needs Top Chef when you're boys with Kojak and Ben Kingsley Gandhi, anyway?

Chris

Posted 2010-08-21 17:04:20

I will never watch this show again, after this episode!  Alex and his team violated the rules of the "wars" and still won.  Why have rules?!  Done!

j leo

Posted 2010-08-21 13:48:04

Still shocked to see Kenny go, after they hyped his rivalry with Angelo so much and had all the other chefs talking him up as a favorite. Maybe after last season, where the top 5 was mostly who people expected, they wanted a few surprises? 

Arnold and Kenny, gone before their time. Amanda, still hanging on despite all common sense. It's interesting but I wish she and Alex were gone a long time ago. 

I love the Bruni-Jeff Lewis idea, who would actually be a great guest judge on this show with snarky criticism. I'm surprised Bravo has resisted the cross-promotion so far.

danya

Posted 2010-08-15 18:48:11

1) there are only 2 urban dictionary definitions for "mafuckas." Which means it's a pretty badass word. 

2) pretty impressive handling of punctuation-parentheses issues.

3) Oscar the Grouch's girlfriend. Is that original? Because that takes the cake.

danya

Posted 2010-08-15 18:50:17

4) Damn you, because I am now craving an American Spirit cigarette.

Drew Lazor

Posted 2010-08-21 23:01:29

How was it, Rory?

Mandy Bee.

Posted 2010-08-13 12:37:16

I was sooo angry when Kenny got cut. We're talking actual banshee-like screaming and thrown shoes angry.

This season has been pretty great so far, but now I'm really not even sure who to root for. Maybe sassy Tiff. But if Angelo ends up taking this thing, things are gon git real ugly up in here.

Tweets that mention Top Chef D.C. Episode 9: War pigs :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-08-13 12:06:02

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Adam Erace, Meal Ticket. Meal Ticket said: TOP CHEF DC Episode 9 recap: read, comment! http://bit.ly/9O9dhN #topchef #topchefdc #tcdc [...]

rory

Posted 2010-08-13 12:04:08

Dear chefs I'm rooting for on top chef,

STOP BEING EXECUTIVE CHEF DURING RESTAURANT WARS, YOU NON-STRATEGIC THINKING IDIOTS.

signed,
rory.

although, kenny's inability to serve a single dish ("a duo of lamb" a "trio of something else") was getting almost as played out as Jamie's scallops a couple seasons ago. 

random sidenote: going to Kevin Gillespie's spot on saturday in ATL. anyone been? anything I *have* to get?

Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Off to the races E-races :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-08-16 14:53:22

[...] Monk's will reopen tomorrow, Aug. 14, at 5 p.m.• NOW OPEN: Karmichael's Kafe• Top Chef D.C. Episode 9: War pigs• 21st Annual Pennsylvania Dutch Festival at Reading Terminal Market Video Blog• Behind [...]

Posted by Drew Lazor @ 4:28 PM Permalink | Post a comment

Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Injera Report

POSTED: Friday, August 6, 2010, 8:08 PM

Filed Under: Food TV | Not So Quickfire | Recipes | Top Chef

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If youre a food nerd like me, you cant watch Top Chef without screaming obscenities at the contestants while peacefully pondering what youd whip up for Transcendently Beautiful Padma each episode. If a case of backseat cooking is what ails ya, dig this fresh weekly column featuring recipes based on each Top Chef Quickfire challenge. Have fun making injera, read the text from Drew Lazor, zapped to my phone as I gaped at Philly-chef-for-a-hot-minute/life-ruiner Marcus Samuelson on the TV screen. Sammy, born in Ethiopia and raised in Sweden, had just unleashed a monster of a Quickfire on the Top Chef contestant: prepare your take on an Ethiopian dish. And now I had to too. I considered making injera from scratch until I found out Id have to ferment the pancake-like batter for three days. Shortcut: I scooped some of the unleavened Ethiopian bread at West Phillys sunny Kaffa Crossing. The gentleman behind the counter seemed impressed your (white)boy was cooking a wat (stew) for dinner and assented to my begging for injera to go, which they typically dont do. Ok. Delivery will be here in five minutes, and soon a guy rolled in carrying a laundry basket full of the giant wheat-hued sourdough rounds. He made me buy a whole bag (about a dozen layers) for $6, and I hauled them out like a heap of heavy Persian rugs. Ive never cooked Ethiopian, but I have cooked chicken. So what Ive prepared for you today is a chicken wat, a la reasoning of Jersey Kev, with eggplant and chard. The stews doctored with a pilau spice blend I smuggled home from Tanzania, a short hop to Ethiopia, earlier this year. The fragrant potpourri of cumin, cardamom, cloves, black pepper and cinnamon is typically used to flavor rice, but Ive got it crusting Mountain View Poultry pastured chicken legs, an economic cut for an economic wat. This dish feed four for about $20.

Pilau Chicken Wat with Lime-Clove Raita(feeds 4)

Go Get This: ...for the chicken 4 whole legs chicken 2 oz. pilau spice (buy it at spice stores or make your own by toasting and grinding cumin, cardamom, cloves, black pepper and cinnamon) 1 medium eggplant, cubed 1 shallot, roughly chopped 1 bunch rainbow chard (or other sturdy green), stemmed and chopped into large ribbons ½ jalapeno 1 bottle dark beer 1 quart chicken stock 2 tbsp. olive oil Salt and pepper, to taste ...for the raita 1 cup plain yogurt ½ cucumber, seeded and finely diced ½ lime, juiced 1 tsp. cloves, toasted and ground Salt and pepper, to taste Now Do This: First, preheat the oven to 300. Then, make the raita by combining the yogurt, lime juice, ground cloves and salt and pepper to taste in a mixing bowl. Whisk together and gently fold in diced cucumbers. Cover with plastic wrap and chill. Get the olive oil warming in deep-bottomed Dutch oven over medium heat. For the chicken, lay the legs out in a baking dish and liberally rub both sides with salt, pepper and pilau spices. (You can do this ahead of time, if youd like; just cover a refrigerate.) Once the oil is hot, sear the legs skin-side down, two at a time. If your pot is bigger than mine, feel free to do them all at once. The spices will toast and skin will brown up in about 8 minutes. Flip and sear an additional 8 minutes. Transfer chicken back to the baking dish and reduce the heat to medium-low. Add the eggplant to the pan. Saute 5 minutes. Add the shallots and jalapeno. Saute an additional 5 minutes. Deglaze with a splash of beer, scraping up all the delicious brown chicken bits on the bottom of the pan. Return chicken to the pot, cover with remaining beer and stock, and finally add the chard. Cover and transfer to the oven. Cook at 300. After 2 and ½ hours, wats up. Serve over injera with raita on the side. Eat with hands.

Tweets that mention Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Injera Report :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-08-06 16:05:09

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Lisa Chan-Simms, Meal Ticket. Meal Ticket said: Wat up, P? @adamerace cooks Ethiopian for this week's Not So Quickfire challenge http://tinyurl.com/2cvc4yc [...]

Adam Erace

Posted 2010-08-08 00:19:03

Pequea is the bomb for sure. Thick but not Greek-thick, tangy but not so much that you need to sweeten it. God bless the Amish.

Dave

Posted 2010-08-06 16:39:01

now I got the hungers for Abyssinia's Kitfo, a carnivore's dish

Danya

Posted 2010-08-07 20:41:25

Nice use of Pequea yogurt, btw

Notes from the Weekend: August 9 :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-08-09 18:43:55

[...] This Sunday, get "closer to the roaster" at La Colombe• More 13th Street Philly froyo!?• Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Injera Report Video Blog• Behind the Scenes with Kurt Vile• PSN Dodgeball Leagues• Tricking [...]

danya

Posted 2010-08-06 15:18:45

Almaz Cafe on 20th & Walnut also has injera. Very tasty, too.

danya

Posted 2010-08-06 15:27:03

Oh.... already mentioned. That's what I get for reading the recipe prior to the recap.

Posted by Adam Erace @ 8:08 PM Permalink | Post a comment

Top Chef D.C. Episode 8: Planet rock

POSTED: Friday, August 6, 2010, 6:22 PM

Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef

Thank God Top Chef decided to start this episode by revisiting the English pea puree scandal that so rocked the competitive cooking show world last week! I haven't been able to sleep. But pea puree theft victim Ed, disappointingly, doesn't seem interested in taking the bait. "I'm not angry about the pea puree," he says. "I'm just, like, more confused. I'm perplexed. Now I'm just trying to focus on moving forward." Chief pea puree thief suspect Alex, predictably, doesn't know nothing about nothing. The fuck, Top Chef! I need answers. My wholly baseless conspiracy theory: Tom C. stole the pea puree to give to his baby and then bitched because there was no five spice in it.

Quickfire: Top Chef Masters winner Marcus Samuelsson shows up, along with the transcendently beautiful Padma wearing what looks to be a pajama set from The Chronicles of Riddick, to challenge the remaining cheftestants to cook food inspired by Samuelsson's native Ethiopia. I honestly had no idea that that was how you were supposed to pronounce "berbere," Marcus. I've been saying it like the carpet style for a minute, my bad. Angelo, Kenny Blalicchio and Ed have experience with the cuisine, but few others do, and that shows our dude Jersey Kev is docked for his "shy" cooking, Stephen's lamb meatballs aren't juicy enough and purported pea puree purloiner Alex's food is just too dry all around. Who did a solid job? Angelo, with a traditional-looking doro wat ("You sure you're not born in Ethiopia?" Samuelsson asks. He definitely looks like he was); Amanda, who cranks out a nice goat dish; and Tiffany, who makes a goulash hearty enough to impress Samuelsson and earn immunity. Yea Tiffany! For what it's worth, tastiest Ethiopian food in Philly? Almaz Café, 20th and Walnut. Flip the menu over!

Elimination: Samuelsson and Future Padma haul out a magnetic earth board that looks like it's from Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? and tell the chefs that they're going to be cooking international cuisines for a group of diplomatics and foreign dignitaries, plus guest judge José Andrés. This seems like it'd be such a good opportunity to assassinate someone! Next Bourne movie? Also, where is Rockapella when you need them? Ed is confident in his Chinese abilities because he's had a few Chinese girlfriends in the past. Ed's had a large diversity of girlfriends! He does tea-smoked duck and potstickers that Andrés calls inauthentic but a Chinese dude calls authentic, which goes to show you how pointless it is to harp on the authenticity of anything. Texan Tiffany grabs Mexico and plans some chicken tamales. Angelo snags Japan (but of course!) and goes the sashimi route. ("I LOVE THE COLOR OF THIS TUNA!" Andrés later exclaims.) Elsewhere, Jersey Kev picks India even though he's got little Indian experience, Amanda goes French, Blalicchio goes Thai, Alex goes Spanish and Kelly chooses Italy. Stephen, meanwhile, draws Brazil and seems to be unaware that people in Brazil eat.

At the top: Jersey Kev stewed/spiced chicken, Kelly's simple beef carpaccio and Tiffany's tamales, which are praised by Tom C for having a distinct husk flavor (mmm, husk). She had immunity this ep anyway, but Tiff ends up pulling the two-fer anyway. Good on ya, Tiff! At the bottom: Stephen, who messed up rice and mixed an "overpowering" chimichurri (isn't that Argentine anyway?); Ed, whose duck is poorly received even though that one Chinese dude liked it; and Alex, who's predictably in the bottom because who the hell wants to cook Spanish food for José Andrés? Stephen gets the boot a necessary move, I think, considering Ed's a serious contender and Alex is too hilarious not to keep around for a few more eps (did y'all see when he face-planted in the kitchen? Gold, Jerry, gold!)

Next week: Restaurant Wars! Always the best episode of the season. Looks like Jersey Kev is gonna be getting heated too, which should be great. OK one more and I'm done:

Elad

Posted 2010-08-06 13:31:42

I can't believe you went that whole recap without one pic of Tom C. and the chief from Carmen!!!

poncho

Posted 2010-08-06 14:28:50

Such good photoshopping in this recap - I think my fav is the Chronicles of Riddick!

Almaz is has amazing Ethopian!

Tweets that mention Top Chef D.C. Episode 8: Planet rock :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-08-06 13:45:55

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Philly City Paper, Meal Ticket. Meal Ticket said: Top Chef DC Episode 8 recap  read, comment! http://bit.ly/cE4O8H [...]

Top Chef D.C. Episode 9: War pigs :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-08-13 11:30:51

[...] Anyone else notice that the pan-seared lamb chop Alex purportedly conceived contained ENGLISH PEA PUREE? [...]

Top Chef D.C. Episode 13 (Finale Part 1): Holy Asian Extravaganza! :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-09-20 00:18:49

[...] Episode 8. Ethiopian and offending ethnic sensibilities. Stephen goes home. [...]

Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Off to the races E-races :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-08-16 15:08:39

[...] the recipe came together blindly, it tasted pretty damn good  and without any pea puree-related incidents.     Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Off to the races [...]

j leo

Posted 2010-08-08 16:05:01

I'm still getting over my Arnold withdrawl, but I think I'm back into this now. The pea puree scandal was fun and I think I like Tiffany the best, so I'm glad to see her assert herself as a contender. At least she'll bring some of the sass Arnold would. But I can still be angry that Amanda and Alex are still there undeservedly.

Maybe Amanda should try to have an affair with one of the male contenders. It worked for Leah (she was in trouble, but her romance with Josea dragged that season along).

I think I saw Rockapella on the corner of the Warner Bros. lot, trying to crank out some doo-wop for change.

G Nagle

Posted 2010-08-07 11:23:10

Alex's stumble was hilarious. We had to rewind it a few times for a better look. Those tamales looked amazing. I've only started eating tamales recently, and none of them have looked like that!

CMF

Posted 2010-08-10 03:08:44

i must have rewound this episode 5x to watch ed give tiffany the "you did it!" look after the quickfire.  this season doesn't hold a candle to last season but it's the little things that keep me watching now.

Colleen

Posted 2010-08-06 15:35:51

Dude, why is Amanda still around? I just want to punch her in the face. I agree that Stephen had to go but her being consistently mediocre is SO annoying.

Posted by Drew Lazor @ 6:22 PM Permalink | Post a comment

Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Ethical Toothpicks

POSTED: Saturday, July 31, 2010, 12:04 AM

Filed Under: Food TV | Not So Quickfire | Recipes | Top Chef

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Blue Cheese-Stuffed Meatballs on Heirloom Tomato "Buns" (makes 20)

Go Get This: 1 lb. ground beef 20 heirloom cherry tomatoes 2 shallots 1/2 lb. blue cheese, slightly frozen 1 jalapeno (seed it to dial down the spice) 1 egg 1 tsp. fennel pollen (or ground fennel seed), plus a sprinkle Drizzle of good extra-virgin olive oil Handful of fresh basil Salt and pepper to taste Now Do This: Rough-chop shallots. Separate basil, leaving small leaves intact; roughly tear or chop large leaves. Separate egg yolk from white. Thinly slice jalapeno. Dice blue cheese. (It's helpful to pop the cheese in the freezer, both before and after dicing, for a few minutes.) Make the meatballs: Combine beef, shallots, basil, fennel pollen, yolk and salt and pepper in mixing bowl. Use your mitts to combine. Working one at a time, grab golf ball-size chunks and roll between your hands to form a sphere. Use your thumb to create a depression in the meat and place on a plate. Repeat until you have 20 balls (you'll have extra meat). Pull blue cheese from freezer and tuck a piece into each depression. Pinch tops of the balls closed around cheese. If necessary, add beef and re-roll so balls are smooth and even. Refrigerate meatballs for at least half an hour. Meanwhile, prep the tomatoes: After washing, remove any stems. Using a serrated knife, slice a small "foot" off the bottom of each tomato so they'll stand up straight. Cut each tomato in half around its equator, creating top and bottom "buns." Arrange on a plate, drizzle with olive oil, season with salt and pepper, sprinkle with fennel pollen and small basil leaves (or torn large leaves). Chill. Now, cook the meatballs: In a deep-bottomed skillet, heat a tablespoon of olive oil over medium-high heat. Remove meatballs from the fridge and place in the hot pan (you should hear a sizzl)e. Sear on one side until caramelized, about 5 minutes. Flip and reduce heat to medium; cook an additional 10 minutes. Transfer meatballs onto a plate lined with paper towels to blot up any extra oil. Finally, put it together: Take tomato top and thread it onto a toothpick, followed by a jalapeno slice, meatball and tomato bottom. Stand up straight.

Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Off to the races E-races :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-08-16 14:52:12

[...] liked this column a lot better when I was making food on toothpicks. Organizing a four-person Quickfire relay race identical to the one on Top Chef D.C.’s [...]

Felicia D'Ambrosio

Posted 2010-08-02 11:34:25

Lobb-a-licious!  Now where's the bill that benefits myself and my constituents!

danya

Posted 2010-07-30 20:43:18

Have y'all trademarked "transcendently beautiful Padma" yet? Because a google search for the term leads to a few observations:

1) Pretty much all the first page is links to your posts. Or, links to links to your posts (USA Today's got your stuff?!)

2) Babynamewizard.com says: "'Padma' means 'lotus' in Sanskrit. In Hinduism and Buddhism, the lotus is a symbol of purity and TRANCENDENCE, its beautiful blossoms floating above the..."

3) The first two links for me are Viagra-MealTicket-posts, but such is life...

Also, recipe sounds delish.

Tweets that mention Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Ethical Toothpicks :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-07-30 21:44:01

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Bobbie Hayes and Adam Erace, Meal Ticket. Meal Ticket said: Check out @adamerace's #TopChef Not So Quickfire recipe for Blue Cheese-Stuffed Meatballs on Heirloom Tomato "Buns": http://bit.ly/9zb8sj [...]

Posted by Adam Erace @ 12:04 AM Permalink | Post a comment

Top Chef D.C. Episode 7: Schock therapy

POSTED: Friday, July 30, 2010, 8:45 PM

Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef

Pea puree pea puree pea puree pea puree pea puree pea puree pea puree.

"For your Quickfire challenge, Congressman Schock is going to perform weird 'tickle play' acts on all the male cheftestants, then roundly deny it in the press. Your time to run begins NOW!"

Quickfire: The cheftestants are visited by Rep. Aaron Schock (R-Illinois), who would totally be played by a sun-kissed Patrick Wilson in a biopic:

Weird thing about this pic: Patrick Wilson is clothed. That dude is ALWAYS NAKED

Congressman Schock explains that quasi-recent Capitol Hill ethics reform has resulted in a rule barring lobbyists from excessive wining-and-dining of lawmakers all food at hob-nobby functions must be able to be served on a toothpick and eaten while standing, so the chefs have to whip up a dish-on-a-stick to impress a guy who, despite his unwitting/awesome status as a gay icon, doesn't think gay-bashing should be considered a hate crime.

Lil' Arnold Face in drag for ya, Schock! Eat it! On a stick!

At the bottom: the increasingly villainous Alex, whose bacon/scallop/strawberry/basil is too busy and cannot be saved by a patriotic stars-and-bars toothpick; Greatest-Generation Ed, who uses a Polynesian cocktail umbrella (!) for his duo of tuna; and Kelly, who's informed her scallop/watermelon stick lacks flavor. At the top: Our dude Jersey Kev gets a nod for his grilled pork kabob, Angelo "brings back" the cucumber cup and provides the Schockster with "fireworks in my mouth," and a confident Stephen impresses dude with a rich scallop/beef/bernaise trio (There's a lot on that stick, I really enjoyed that!" says the politician. hahah). Angelo, though, wins immunity and $20K for his cuke cup, quite possibly the largest-gapped low-risk/high-reward victory since they gave the American Idol belt to that kid who mows my lawn instead of that coiffure eyeliner sex robot guy.

"Hmm, which of these sexy mesclun mixes would I rather bang..."

Elimination: The chefs must prepare a "power lunch" at the Palm D.C. gonna go ahead and assume they have slightly more credible wall caricatures than our Larry Mendte and Alycia Lane heads using a random meat/seafood. Tasters include Joe Scarborough, why-hell0-there NBC White House correspondent Savannah Guthrie and now-extremely-skinny guest judge chef Art Smith. Jersey Kev, who was chef de cuisine at the Grill at the Ritz-Carlton in the pre-10 Arts era, knows all about the challenge, as he cooked for John Street and crew once a week back in the day. Amanda, on the other hand, admits she's never cooked a porterhouse before, and proceeds to take all the meat off the bone, which means it's not really a porterhouse anymore. She also forgets to bring salt and pepper (?!), so she runs around on some "you can't spare one square?"-type mission for awhile. Ed gets down ripping apart lobsters with his bare hands, while Alex raves about "dinosaur-style" salmon portions. Tiffany finds time during all this to proclaim that she and Ed and not, I repeat not, shacking up on some Top Chef love stuff. "I got a man!" she exclaims. Which of course makes me think like:

Ed's Big Daddy Longstroke and your man's Pee Wee Herman!

Then there's the pea puree. Ed makes one for his lobster dish, but it goes mysteriously missing ... around the same time a pea puree materializes on Alex's salmon plate. Everyone whispers and chats and theorizes about where Ed's puree went off to on some Double P is for Pea Puree Sue Grafton type shit, and some people suspect Alex but no one says anything to him! What's the worst is that Alex and Ed, along with Tiffany, end up in the top three and Art Smith ends up giving Alex the W and raving about the puree like crazy. Rough, Positive K Ed! Of course, we're not provided with a lick of actual evidence implicating Alex as pea puree thief but it's certainly curious. Good job Top Chef, you made pea puree interesting! At the bottom: Jersey Kev, who overcooks lamb; Kelly, who way oversalts her porterhouse steak (at least what she served was a porterhouse, though!); and Andrea, who chooses to top swordfish with a crazy-sounding vanilla bean mustard beurre blanc that just sounds disconcerting. That wacky sauce, as you might imagine, gets her the boot.

Top Chef D.C. Episode 8: Planet rock :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-08-06 13:22:36

[...] God Top Chef decided to start this episode by revisiting the English pea puree scandal that so rocked the competitive cooking show world last week! I haven’t been able to sleep. But pea puree theft victim Ed, disappointingly, [...]

Top Chef D.C. Episode 10: The hour-long kiss goodnight :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-08-21 10:55:06

[...] all suspected, this is Alex’s week to go home. He packs his knives, taking the truth behind the Great Pea Puree Scandal of 2010  a national security issue if I’ve ever seen one  with him.   Top Chef D.C. Episode 10: [...]

Molly Eichel

Posted 2010-07-30 17:06:57

Dearest Tiffany,

You are a sass factory like no other and you can cook the shit out of some swordfish. Let's become BFFs.

Love,

Molly

Kendall

Posted 2010-07-30 18:09:51

I can't stop laughing at the second Positive K pic, dying over here.

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Posted 2010-07-30 18:37:16

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Top Chef Not So Quickfire: Ethical Toothpicks :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-07-30 19:04:58

[...] until November; have a dance party anyway• NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH: Lilith Fair edition Meal Ticket• Top Chef D.C. Episode 7: Schock therapy• Adsum launches brunch• Grubbin' at this weekend's DooWop Car Show• EAT THIS [...]

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Top Chef D.C. Episode 6: Pipin'-hot duck balls! Getcha duck balls here!

POSTED: Friday, July 23, 2010, 5:33 PM

Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef

Could it be? An episode of Top Chef that actually features two interesting and generally-relevant-to-cooking challenges?!

Just out of frame is a greased-up Anthony Bourdain in nothing but a towel and Havaianas

Quickfire: Transcendently beautiful Padma and plucky guest judge Michelle Bernstein with whom Andrea has chef beef (Miami style!) tell the remaining 10 cheftestants that they must cook a dish using an "exotic" protein stuff like llama, emu eggs, ostrich, duck tongues ... and foie gras. (Copout!) The chefs draw knives to determine who picks what when. This is really the type of challenge that should appear on Top Chef more often, as it's the rare reality/competition show that's actually well-suited to showcase one's skill at manipulating animal testes in a creative capacity. Usually you just get real estate agents and personal trainers chewing them like Bazooka Joe and weeping while Joe Rogan screams and a bunch of veins bulge out of his weird neck. Wait ... is that Cayman Crocodile? I love Cayman Crocodile! I'm glad to see him getting work! Lemme get a closeup?

Ah yeah, that's definitely CC! You can tell by the name tag he's biting, see it? Not sure how many of you young kids remember this, but prior to his work on Top Chef, CC actually had a bit of an acting career going. It all started in the early '80s with his role as the lovable, precocious Ricky on the sitcom Silver Spoons:

A few years later, CC made an unlikely but seamless transition into film. Who could forget his moving turn as the title character in 1985's Academy Award-nominated Kiss of the Spider Woman?:

CC laid low for the first half of the '90s, but then made a roaring comeback in 1997, tackling the edgy role of Ben Hood in Ang Lee's gut-wrenching The Ice Storm. Cayman Crocodile's performance was a study in measured rage, a glowering internalization of the dregs of suburban misery:

After that, though, CC fell off the map, mostly dabbling in infomercial work and reptile porn and the like. Now he's back and he doesn't look a day older! Here's to you, Cayman Crocodile!

Look out for Cayman Crocodile in the upcoming straight-to-DVD feature Lake Placid 4: Sorry, Betty White Isn't in This One, Either

Angelo, oh Angelo, draws duck balls, which he has no experience with; he immediately announces his intentions to create a "testicle marshmallow." "I've used duck balls before," deadpans Ed, detailing a cock's comb-and-testes "cock and balls soup" he put together when working for Todd "I Look Like Gaston" English. Ed, hands-on experience with balls is one area where I think it's OK to concede alpha-male dominance to another dude. About 10 minutes into cooking, Padma throws a transcendently beautiful wrench into the system: Every chef is forced to take on the weird meat directly to their left, meaning our dude Jersey Kev gets stuck with the balls. So many dudes are touching these nuts! At the bottom: Stephen, who offers frog's legs that Bernstein calls "insipid"; No. 1 knife-drawer Alex, who cooks dried-out ostrich (serves you right for picking foie first!); and Andrea, who is sooooo salty that Bernstein gets to take a national-TV crap on her for a wild boar dish. Dishes at the top: Kelly's creamy emu egg omelette, Tamesha's duck tongue soup (mmm!) and Amanda's roasted llama with sauce soubise. Kelly ends up with the W and immunity, which is key for her since the Elimination is a wacky one this time around. The challenge: The U.S.S. Sequoia, the presidential yacht yacht, must not get nearly as much action as Air Force One (I guess there aren't many crucial diplomatic trips taken to places like St. Croix or Niagara Falls), since they allow the chefs and judges and crew to hop on board and cook up a bunch of served-cold entrées in a "Cold War" challenge. (War's hilarious ... I hope they have a "Korean War" ep with mad banchabn and kalbi ... ) The chefs split into two teams of five; they're each allowed to taste the other team's food, and subsequently nominate a winner and loser within their competing group.

This picture needs an awesome caption. Help me out in the comments.

Angelo identifies sockeye salmon as "sexy" and "vibrant" at Whole Foods (wow, which Whole Foods are you shopping at?!); he's later called out for chatting up his competitors and offering dish advice, at which point he addresses his reputation for gamesmanship. "There are conspiracies that I'm here to play tactical games," he says. "I'm here to play and win." One begets the other, A! Just do it already. Kinda like how Ed did your college girlfriend, a fact he is extremely proud to broadcast to the viewing populace. After much hemming and hawing from the competing chefs at the dinner table (Tom C. calls the chefs out for BSing their way through some harsh, negative commentary, e.g. people hate on Jersey Kev's tuna/veal dish for lack of acidity even though it's got both lemon and tomato on the plate), the gang lasts on their top two haters-can't-hold-me Jersey Kev and Tiff, who impresses with spicy tuna in a gazpacho-style sauce. Jersey Kev gets the chip, plus a trip to Hawaii. Yeah dude! At the bottom: Tamesha, whose scallop/rhubarb/herb dish is oddly cooked and flavored; and the usually-strong Kenny Blalicchio, who does one of his now-signature "[insert number] ways" presentations with lamb and is rebuked for getting too fancy and conceptual. Of course, Blalicchio's too strong of a threat to go home, so Tameesh, Angelo's padawan ladylove, is sent packing. We promised y'all way back in Episode 1 that we'd be Photoshopping the Barbados native's head onto Rihanna's body at least once this season now seems like an appropriate time, does it not?

Kicking it with Robin Thicke, ain't no thing

In concert, pre Chris Breezy incident

Molly Eichel

Posted 2010-07-23 12:53:41

I know Tiffany's not going to take it all, but don't you wish she would? Her post-win celebration would be epic in scope. I'm also digging previews from the next ep involving my girl Tiff and Greatest Generation Ed getting a little too cozy. I love it when Top Chef takes a turn for the CW.

Phyllis Stein-Novack

Posted 2010-07-23 13:10:43

I've eaten bulls's testicles and they were downright delicious. A cowboy chef from Denver made them. 

My sister sandy the picky eater said she could not watch the quickfire because it made her sick. Figures. She has no sense of adventure when eating home or eating out. Won't even taste lamb, duck, quail, sweetbreads - you get the idea.

Frankly unusual ingredients make for fun episodes but think how difficult it is to perfectly roast a chicken. Or a capon, who, poor baby, lost his balls.

Fidel Gastro

Posted 2010-07-23 13:11:51

I know it's on some elementary school shit, but that photo above has "I just farted" written all over it.

poncho

Posted 2010-07-23 13:57:31

Loving the photo shop this week!  I also look forward to the Ed and Tiff romance saga next week.  It's like Hosea and Leah all over again minus the intense disgust!

Tweets that mention Top Chef DC Episode 6 recap read, comment! #topchef #topchefdc #tcdc -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-07-23 14:59:26

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Philly City Paper, Meal Ticket. Meal Ticket said: Top Chef DC Episode 6 recap  read, comment! http://bit.ly/9DQ9LP #topchef #topchefdc #tcdc [...]

Brunch101

Posted 2010-07-23 19:43:21

Great Blog...Great "take" on cheftestants!

Adam

Posted 2010-07-23 20:58:18

Caption: Tom C. starstruck by guest cheftestant, Javier Bardem circa-No Country for Old Men

Didn't think I'd get to see Tamesha/Rihanna Photoshop this early, but man is it glorious!

Posted by Drew Lazor @ 5:33 PM Permalink | Post a comment

Top Chef D.C. Episode 5: What a great opportunity to make a bunch of "we got crabs" jokes!

POSTED: Thursday, July 15, 2010, 10:31 PM

Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef

Mmm, crabs. Quickfire: Top Chef must've realized how soul-crushingly stupid last week's baby food challenge was, so they gave them a doozy in Ep 5. Guest chef Patrick O'Connell of the classy Inn at Little Washington his dapper sensibilities scream "tweedy impertinence" a la Lester Freamon, do they not? is a D.C.-area chef, so he sticks the cheftestants with the task of cooking up dishes highlighting the Maryland blue crab. "Is that some CRABS?!" Tiffany squeals upon entering the kitchen. Hell yes that is some crabs Tif! Look at all those squirmy, pinchy fuckers! I was excited about this QF challenge picking and cooking crabs is a challenge, while forcing professionals to fill jars with mushy shit is not since I'm from Maryland, but also since I assumed this would be cake for Baltimore chef Tim, who's been catching all sorts of bad breaks in recent episodes. He does up his crab with avocado, passion fruit and an heirloom tomato vin. "Give it the microphone and let it sing," goes his crab-cookin' philosophy. Hell to the yes, my fellow Terp. Angelo is the first to take the bait. "I had crabs, so it just brought back some bad memories," he deadpans in a sit-down. That is decidedly not "sexy" like your food always is, homey! He does lemongrass/ginger-infused blue crab broth, and is surprised when he spots Greatest-Generation Ed whipping up a Thai-inspired crab preparation. Elsewhere, our dude Jersey Kev (follow him on Twitter!) does a chowder spiced up with espelette pepper oil, Amanda serves a crab salad with a buried sauterne/ginger/juniper gelée ("It's ... pungent," says Padma, turning up that transcendently beautiful nose of hers) while self-proclaimed "beast in the kitchen" Kenny Blalicchio puts together a trio of crab dishes. Blalicchio and Angelo get love for their respective dishes, but Staff Sergeant Ed ends up winning the QF and immunity for his dish. They also take an opportunity to plant the seed for an Ed/Tiffany romance angle. You ain't fooling me, Top Chef I seen this movie already!

Taraji P. Henson is sooooooo mad at you right now!

We also really have to mention the combo Jedi master/Padawan learner and Patrick Wilson/Ellen Page in Hard Candy-style storyline they're pushing ridiculously hard as far as Angelo and Tamesha go. How is this going to turn out? Is Angelo truly just interested in Tamesha because he sees a lot of himself in her? Or is there some sort of weird attraction thing going on? OR, is this all part of the extremely cunning Angelo's insidious master plan to win it all?! So much to think about! Ah fuck it, let's just go Round 2 with this shit:

You are pissing Blair Underwood off! DO NOT PISS BLAIR UNDERWOOD OFF!

I don't have time to match up skin tones and I'm sorry about that. Elimination: Chef O'Connell invites the chefs to a Virginia organic farm one so goddamn organic that it's actually capable of growing "strawberries, eggplants, tomatoes, turnips and apples all in the same season," as Adam Erace astutely points out (sustainable maaagiccccc!) and they're tasked with putting together a celebrate-the-bounty-of-the-earth dinner in some field for a bunch of local chefs and farmers. Cue an interminable period of cheffy bickering over who works with who (they eventually agree to team up with the same partners from last week). "We should act like civilized human beings and come to some kind of peace that way," says Tamesha. Wait a minute, that actually sounds mature and reasonable. Tamesha, please pack your knives and go.

Is Eric Ripert rocking an American Apparel circle scarf right there? Yes!

Angelo believes he is bringing epicurean sexy back with his dish. "I basically made love to that duck, to be honest with you," he coos. Haha Angelo likes doing it to food! I can't wait for his Washington Square pop-up here in Philly. (Do you have insurance to cover this kind of thing, SRO?) Stephen does some sort of crunchy salad that he hopes will stand out. "I don't want to be a forgotten side dish," he says. "I want to be a fore ... front ... runner." Fore front runner? That sounds like one of those Wheel of Fortune "Before and After" puzzles, Steve. "I'd like to solve the puzzle, Padma?" Speaking of Padma, who else thinks she should rock equestrian/Amelia Earhart chic every episode from now on? Giddyup!

"Fuck, Colicchio gave our seats away to Nene from The Real Housewives of Atlanta again. Classic Colicchio ... "

Tim plans a turnip mousseline, but abandons the idea halfway through. Amanda does minestrone and makes fun of Progresso while doing it. Alex stuffs ratatouille inside beef tenderloin, which is awesome if only because we get to hear Eric Ripert say "ratatouille" out loud. Jersey Kev's cauliflower couscous falls on the ground, so he promptly duplicates it with broccoli. At the top: Jersey Kev (back in action!); Blalicchio, with a sweet/sour eggplant that sounds awesome; Andrea, with some pork; and Kelly, with some beets and an extra-credit dessert (wow, my Dark Horse selection was so wrong). Blalicchio takes it! Dude had some other nicknames established in this episode Black Magic, Black Lightning, Black Angus but we're riding with Blalicchio to the death, believe it. At the bottom: Tim, whose call-an-audible decision to veer away from mousseline proved ill-advised; Amanda, who gets ripped by Tom C. for unevenly cooked components of her soup ("When we cook, why do we cut things uniformly?"); and Stephen, who also gets Colicchio-d ("You're not paying attention to your lettuces!" Put that on a damn tee!). O'Connell comments that Amanda's chopped-up veggies look like "your grandma might have done it with her ax." Do grandmas typically have axes? My grandmas didn't but they were rather unorthodox chicks, so ... anyway, after some hardcore "there's a cause and effect to everything"-style scolding from Tom, the judges send Bmore boy Tim packing. Aw, Tim!

Molly Eichel

Posted 2010-07-15 17:57:11

Ok, so my new fave? Clearly Tiffany. She's just so adorable! Ed is not nearly attractive enough for a good Something New-style Ebony-and-Ivory romance so I'd tell her to keep that one platonic. But he's better than Angelo, who needs to stay the hell away from Tamesha. It's totally creepy how he whispers platitudes in her ear. She needs to cut the cord on that one ASAP. 

Also, Patrick O'Connell over enunciated every word he said, so he kind of sounded like a gay supervillain. And yes, listening to Eric Ripert say ratatouille was worth the hour of my time.

Tweets that mention Top Chef D.C. Episode 5: What a great opportunity to make a bunch of we got crabs jokes! :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-07-15 18:02:50

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Kendall

Posted 2010-07-15 18:57:08

I swear the camera caught the very last moment of Ed pulling away from a kiss with Tiffany on the couch, even sounded like Kenny gave them a "what you two doing over there??"

adam

Posted 2010-07-15 19:16:50

Best TC recap ever, especially because I got a shout out!

Drew Lazor

Posted 2010-07-16 01:59:55

Something new!

Posted by Drew Lazor @ 10:31 PM Permalink | Post a comment

Top Chef D.C. Episode 4: All Padma wants, is some food for babies, she's gone tomorrow boy

POSTED: Saturday, July 10, 2010, 11:53 PM

Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef

Late pass, lo siento.

"We're here today to test your ability to make food taste like the stuff that comes out of a hot glue gun. Your time begins NOW!"

Quickfire: The transcendently beautiful Padma and the transcendently gruff Tom C. both recently had babies, so they do what any doting new parent would do: force a bunch of professional chefs TO MAKE BABY FOOD for them to taste and critique. NOT THE BABIES, NOT THE BABIES, them. Top Chef has had plenty of make-crap-look-gourmet challenges in the past the infamous vending machine challenge comes to mind but baby food?! Baby food is goopy, mucous-like mush specifically designed to be digested by intestinal tracts so underdeveloped they're the same length as a bit of cat's cradle string. So fucked. Have to admit, though, that the sight of Padma nibbling off of really small spoons was quasi-hot. (Makes me wonder what are the most humiliating challenges in Top Chef history? Leave your picks in the comments.) Before we go any further, let's just get this out the way right quick:

The chefs learn this is a high-stakes Quickfire challenge with a $10K for two winners. Arnold immediately states that if he were to win, he'd dedicate the cash to two Thai orphanages that help children infected with HIV/AIDS. Top Chef decides that this would be a golden opportunity slip in a clip of Alex saying that he'd totally blow the cash on hookers and an 8-ball if he were to win. Top Chef: Ruining Sincere Charitable Overtures Since 2006. "The baby food was OK, but the adult dishes really missed the mark," Tom C. tells Tim. Tim on this day, you were better at making baby food than adult food. And I am sorry. That sucks. Tom also thinks that Alex's baby food is too herbaceous; no 8-balls for you, chief. Jersey Kev's duck is too underdone and Kelly's pork is too bland. I would like to take this opportunity remind you that Top Chef just made all these actual chefs make FUCKING BABY FOOD. Lynne and Tamesha both do a solid job with their baby and adult food (heavy sigh), and Angelo makes some sort of insane multi-layered jar that the judges dub "special" (compliment?!). In the end, Tamesha and Kenny Blalicchio end up winning the cash money but not immunity. This is so depressing. BABY FOOD. Fuck me, man. It would've been awesome if Padma and Tom brought in their respective bundles of joy and made them eat the stuff. I bet Baby Colicchio woulda been like "This definitely needs more salt. Also, I just shit myself."

Still from the upcoming spin-off Top Chef: Not Enough Plates

Elimination: Going off the really dumb/unfair/humiliating theme, the 14 remaining heads are told that they have to pair up and cook in a sort of three-round cooking tournament, making signature breakfast, lunch and dinner dishes that would be appropriate to serve at Hilton hotels. Former TC contestants Bryan, Spike and Mike I, all D.C.-area chefs, serve as guest judges. The setup is kind of nonsense, though: After each of the three rounds, the two teams with the best food are saved from elimination, leaving the losers to battle in subsequent rounds which means the eventual champ of the round #3 (dinner) wasn't able to execute well enough to outright win during breakfast and lunch. Almost as dumb as baby food. Winner-of-the-last-ep Arnold, paired up with Lynne, hopes to keep his good performances rolling maybe if he wins this too, "they might think I'm more than a Louis Vuitton bag!"


	ARNOLD FACE IN TRIPLICATE!

Stephen/Amanda and Tiffany/Tim earn safety during breakfast; Alex, teamed with Ed, put together a tasty-sounding prosciutto potato cake, but Ed forgets to complete one of their plates. I'm not quite sure what it is about Ed, but he exudes this haughty, cheerless all-American sensibility that just screams Greatest Generation:

In the lunch round, Angelo/Tamesha (weird potential love connection?) and Alex/Staff Sergeant Darrel "Shifty" Powers Ed cook their way out of elimination, leaving Andrea/Kelly, Arnold/Lynne and Jersey Kev/Blalicchio (who are PISSED) to stave each other off in the dinner round. Andrea and Kelly take the challenge (and win free vacations) for their braised short rib/polenta plate; Jersey Kev/Blalicchio are given the business for their short ribs with veg and tempura horseradish (! that sounds amazing), but Arnold and Lynne are both sent packing for their red curry mussels with squid ink pappardelle. NOOOOOOOO! Arnold Face just started! This calls for a retrospective:

ARNOLD FACE: Two Weeks Ago Now

"I know, right?! But then I thought about it. Realistically, when is the next time Jean-Luc Godard requests that I serve him fruits de mer while wearing a sheer loincloth?"

Tweets that mention Top Chef D.C. Episode 4: All Padma wants, is some food for babies, shes gone tomorrow boy :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-07-10 19:17:06

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Posted 2010-07-10 22:46:54

hahah this was immensely enjoyed

poncho

Posted 2010-07-10 23:21:40

This episode was lame, at least the recap was enjoyable.  RIP Arnold Face :(

j leo

Posted 2010-07-12 05:53:03

AR-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!-LD

Yeah, I'm devasted. But I have to say that the tournament style was interesting, if not flawed, and created a lot of suspense. I can't imagine feeling this much tension for an early-season episode in a long time. When it came down to the final group, I realized that teh team setup meant that one of Kenny, Kelly, or Arnold would have to go home, and I couldn't believe that it would be one of the first two (after all the facetime they've gotten). RIP Arnold. RIP Arnold Face. You got jobbed. There are chefs on here who still haven't done anything, and he gets thrown off with a win under his belt.

Ticket Stubs: Meal Ticket Weekly Recap, July 5-10 :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-07-12 11:35:29

[...] July 8 Meal Ticket• Invasion of the Korean fried chicken at Meritage • Adsum in pictures• Top Chef D.C. Episode 4: All Padma wants, is some food for babies, she's gone tomorrow boy• Nook Bakery and Coffee Bar aiming for next week• Chhaya Cafe opening on East [...]

Top Chef D.C. Episode 5: What a great opportunity to make a bunch of “we got crabs” jokes! :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-07-15 17:32:22

[...] Top Chef must’ve realized how soul-crushingly stupid last week’s baby food challenge was, so they gave them a doozy in Ep 5. Guest chef Patrick O’Connell of the classy Inn at [...]

Top Chef D.C. Episode 14 (Finale Pt. 2): Sling blade :: Meal Ticket :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-09-16 16:47:35

[...] That leaves our dude Jersey Kev, who is able to execute his vision in a cohesive fashion, with flavors, plating and innovation  they fawn over his dessert in a manner that probably has all the Top Chef Just Desserts contestants real salty right now  humming along in equal stead. Good on ya, Kev! The guy is currently hunting for a local restaurant space to start his own spot. Hope to hear more about this soon. Also very excited to learn, via that interview, that he regrets the baby food Quickfire.  [...]

Posted by Drew Lazor @ 11:53 PM Permalink | Post a comment

Top Chef D.C. Episode 3: Not picnic baskets picnic caskets

POSTED: Thursday, July 1, 2010, 10:11 PM

Filed Under: Food TV | Top Chef

This season of Top Chef is shaping up to be pretty awesome, don't you agree?

"Please do your best. It was just yesterday that Johnny asphyxiated a line cook with his chain wallet for making a watery panna cotta."

Quickfire: The transcendently beautiful Padma, joined by the lovely Gail Simmons and clearly-way-into-Rocket from the Crypt Jean Georges pastry chef Johnny Iuzzini (the latter two will host the upcoming Top Chef Just Desserts), challenge the cheftestants to make a pie. AMERICA! Everyone is extremely pissed. Meanwhile, deep in the wilderness of the Pacific Northwest, a wry, telling smile spreads across the lineless face of Special Agent Dale Cooper. "I have no idea where this pie-based Quickfire challenge will lead us," says Cooper, a mug of hot coffee, black as midnight on a moonless night, half-raised to his lips. "But I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange."

OMGZ Agent Dale Cooper and Gail would make such a cute couple! Whaddya say, Gail?

OK that's just rude Gail! Jersey Kev says America like "Amurrica" so I like him. And Arnold whips out the big guns RIGHT AWAY. I think pies live in the clouds with the unicorns!" he exclaims. "They just appear magically sometimes! That shit is so Arnold Face-worthy that we're gonna have to roll out ...

ARNOLD FACE IN DRAG ON Y'ALL FOOLS!!!

Alex's pie is criticized for its quiche-ness, Tracey's crust turns out poorly and Ed's purportedly grandma-inspired banana cream pie, tricked out with salted peanut and celery espuma (!), is roundly ridiculed by Gail. "How does it compare to your grandmother's celery espuma?" she asks all Gail-like. Ed is like owwww. (Judges are mean on this episode!) Amanda gets clapped up by Iuzzuni when she leads into her pie description with some "I'm not a pastry chef"-type sentiment. "My grandma is not a pastry chef either, and she can make a pie," Iuzzuni snorts. OK it's settled, Ed's grandma and Johnny's grandma shall box to the death, Broughton's rules!

Picture both as grandmas, one with a sweet pompadour

Kelly and Stephen are praised for their tasty offerings, but Kenny Blalicchio ends up taking the Quickfire, and immunity, for a bad-ass-sounding bananas foster-inspired pie with Chinese five spice. Blalicchio is a threat! Elimination: The chefs are told they must tackle yet another American tradition the summer picnic by preparing dishes for 150 Capitol Hill interns at Mt. Vernon, George Washington's idyllic estate. Before we go any further I would like to bring your attention to a viewer poll question Bravo currently has posted on its website:

I get it, because of the INTERNS. You guys just HAD to go for the cheap, infinitely dated Monica Lewinsky reference, didn't you? While we're at it, here's an exclusive sneak peek at next week's viewer poll:

Each chef is required to come up with a main and a side for the Elimination, so they all go frantic-shopping at Whole Foods. This is precisely when Bravo decides to splice in a testimonial from Amanda discussing how she had a lot of drug problems in the early part of her mid-20s. I'm very happy that Amanda says she has kicked those habits, but it's really bizarre how the producers did it they cut it in super-fast and random and apropos of nothing, like:

Again, very happy that this is no longer the case with Amanda. And despite the fact that Angelo talks a bunch of smack on her in a weird Inigo Montoya-style cadence ("She's actually very smart, but can Amanda beat me? No, she cannot beat me."), she rocks out the Elimination, impressing the judges (including guest Jonathan Waxman) with her ribs and asparagus. (Even Angelo shows love.) Those two end up in the top four, along with Ed, who erases any memory of Celeryespumagate with a spiced tuna loin dish; and Arnold, who rocks flavorful lamb meatballs so good that they end up winning the challenge. Arn's excited that he takes it a testament to straight skills, I suppose, especially considering he had to peek at Blalicchio's grill setup pre-cooking to get a fix on what to do. "I'm not a grill guy," he states at the outset. "It'll clog the pores way too fast!"

ARNOLD FACE, ART EDITION!

They can't all be winners, of course. At the bottom of the Elimination Tim, whose pork two ways is overshadowed by Amanda's ribs; the highly-ranked-in-the-Quickfire Stephen, with an "unappealing" bacon-wrapped Chilean sea bass; Jersey Kev, whose Puerto Rican-inspired flank steak and beans/rice is called too safe; and Tracey, who was gonna do Italian sausage but got stuck for time and ended up turning the same meat into slider patties. Like I mentioned before, the judges are cold as ice on this episode (or is it this season?) after beating up all of the bottom four, Tom C. and Waxman focus the brunt of their ire on Tracey. "My 10-year-old son probably could've made that patty," says Waxman. "If that's what you call Italian food, it's insulting to Italians, me being one," goes Tom C. Owwwwww. Needless to say, Tracey ends up packing her knives and going. Rough!

nick

Posted 2010-07-01 17:23:05

haha holy shit, that picturestrip of amanda is gold jerry, gold!

danya

Posted 2010-07-01 17:28:26

Heard a report from the field that Padma is truly as beautiful in person as she is on TV. Friend was tempted to say, "Wow, I always thought they photoshopped you!" but actually ended up saying, "Wow!" out loud. Just so you know.

Kudos on the exclusive peek at next week's poll. It should do a lot for Bravo's website ranking.

Tweets that mention Top Chef D.C. Episode 3: Not picnic baskets â? picnic caskets :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper -- Topsy.com

Posted 2010-07-01 17:44:00

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Eddie Gehman Kohan. Eddie Gehman Kohan said: RT @mealticket Top Chef D.C. Episode 3 recap  read, comment! http://bit.ly/bB52pt #topchef #topchefdc [...]

Kendall

Posted 2010-07-01 18:31:27

And the "Headline of the Year" award goes to...

kibby

Posted 2010-07-02 09:16:44

Hahah, this post referenced so many things that I love- Snoop, Twin Peaks and Rocket from the Crypt. Amazing! 
I love how sassy Gail is this season. I hope she keeps it up and just gets sassier.
Finally, Arnold Face in drag. OMG.

Marie DiFeliciantonio

Posted 2010-07-02 09:58:10

Oh, Arnie. Work it, girl.

Molly Eichel

Posted 2010-07-02 11:07:42

I'm sad about Tracey. She talked a big game but it was all for naught. Plus, shut up Gail, you'd be lucky to have Special Agent Dale Cooper.

poncho

Posted 2010-07-02 13:44:47

Omg these recaps are getting funnier and funnier.  Arnold Face in drag is quite possible the best thing ever!

j leo

Posted 2010-07-06 20:36:59

AR-NOLD! AR-NOLD! AR-NOLD! Team Arnold forever.

Twin Peaks and Requiem for a Dream in one post? You've outdone yourself.

I'm always amused by the sheer terror that comes anytime desserts are invoolved. You'd think by now the chefs would know that if they sign up for this show, eventually they'd need to make a dessert at some point, and spend some time practicing or developing their pastry skills? Unbelievable. Everyone should know how to make a pie because it's just an awesome thing to do.

I think Tom casually mentions to Gail every once in a while that she's being too nice, which scares her into a brief fit of snappy remarks. We'll see if this continues.

Top Chef D.C. Episode 4: All Padma wants, is some food for babies, she’s gone tomorrow boy :: Meal Ticket :: Food Blog :: Philadelphia City Paper

Posted 2010-07-10 18:53:49

[...] Winner-of-the-last-ep Arnold, paired up with Lynne, hopes to keep his good performances rolling  maybe if he wins this too, “they might think I’m more than a Louis Vuitton bag!” [...]

Posted by Drew Lazor @ 10:11 PM Permalink | Post a comment

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Notes from the Weekend: June 17
The Lite Choice Opens Flagship Store on 16th Street between Walnut & Locust
Free stuff for Father's Day
Gone Fishin'
Happy National Beef Jerky Day!
Summer of Riesling Dinner at P&K
Hot Dog Wire: LaBan Coney at ASB
George Sabatino guesting at Scott Dogs Hot Dog Cart Pop-Up
Now Serving: Tiffin Bistro
Vetri opening in the Navy Yard, plus a nod to Le Bec

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Founded in October 2008, Meal Ticket is a City Paper blog about food, drink and assorted other things that make you go mmm. We do recipes, interviews, restaurant news, commentary and much more. We don't do restaurant reviews here — those are handled in print, mostly by our critic (and Meal Ticket contributor) Adam Erace. Got a tip, question, thought or concern? Just want to say hello? Please shoot a note to caroline@citypaper.net.

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