"If animals could talk, a few cows in Burlington County might ask state legislators to hurry up and outlaw bestiality."
The Web site for the award-winning alternative weekly, the Philadelphia City Paper.
"If animals could talk, a few cows in Burlington County might ask state legislators to hurry up and outlaw bestiality."
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Is that the lede of the decade or what?
The rest of the Daily News article about the guy COP who tried to get blow jobs from baby cows is disturbing. It's hard to believe the guy got off. Sorry. But yeah, the animal-cruelty charges were dropped.
During a bizarre hearing there yesterday, a Superior Court judge dismissed animal-cruelty charges against a Moorestown police officer accused of sticking his penis into the mouths of five calves in rural Southampton in 2006, claiming a grand jury couldn't infer whether the cows had been "tormented" or "puzzled" by the situation or even irritated that they'd been duped out of a meal.
"If the cow had the cognitive ability to form thought and speak, would it say, 'Where's the milk? I'm not getting any milk,' " Judge James J. Morley asked.
Read the whole messed-up thing here.
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