[-5] A Port Richmond teen says her geometry teacher at Charles Carroll High School mocked her for wearing a Mitt Romney campaign shirt, comparing it to wearing a KKK shirt. “I don’t know what chapter you belong to,” says girl, “but we usually wear robes and hoods to the rallies.”
[-1] Pennsylvania House candidate Dave Kralle lambasts Carroll High and posts a protest flier on his site that says, “We have been told there isn’t a single American flag at the school and the Pledge is NEVER recited.” Whew. We were worried only the liberal side would end up looking like ignorant, knee-jerking shitheads in this whole mess.
[+2] Commissioner Ramsey says Lt. Jonathan Josey will be fired for punching a woman, Aida Guzman, at the Puerto Rican Day Parade. That’s what happens when you assault somebody. You lose your job.
[-2] The Fraternal Order of Police says the decision to fire Josey “sends a bad message.” Bell Curve has determined that the message is “don’t punch people in the face,” and it’s a pretty good one.
[+3] Mayor Nutter apologizes to Aida Guzman. “I can’t see anything because my eyes are swollen shut,” she says, “but I’d like to thank Kermit the Frog for his concern.”
[-2] Latrice Bryant, aide to Councilman W. Wilson Goode Jr., posts on Facebook that she was on a toilet at a Germantown nightclub when a woman burst into her stall and attacked her. Bryant later admits the whole thing was a euphemism for Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
[-2] Bryant brags about fighting the woman off, saying, “I pounded her face with my fist … booka … booka … booka.” Another euphemism, sadly. IBS affects some 25 to 45 million people nationwide.
[+1] Mayor Nutter criticizes Mitt Romney for lying in the first presidential debate. “I can’t see anything because my Klan hood doesn’t fit right,” says Romney, “but Kermie can go fuck himself. I’m definitely shutting down PBS now.”
This week’s total: -6 | Last week’s total: -12