[+2] Mayor Nutter tells the city the key to preparedness is “striking the balance between nonchalant and hysterical.” Adding, “Like if narcolepsy and ADD had a baby, be like that. Or imagine spiking a double espresso with codeine cough syrup. I’m looking for you all to be a bunch of spacey ants-pantses.” 

[-1] Just before Sandy makes landfall, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie scolds Atlantic City Mayor Lorenzo Langford for disregarding his evacuation order. “I win,” Christie says as he tosses a mouse to his pet python, Christine. “I always win.”

[0] Langford responds that Christie was “misinformed” and “playing politics.” Adding, “Anyway, none of that matters now, as I will soon let go of this floating mass of salt-water taffy and swim out to meet those fair maidens I hear singing to me so enchantingly from the jetty.”

[-5] Sandy knocks out electricity for 3.7 million people in the region. And knocks up 1.8 million. 

[-2] Police say a drunk woman in York County attempted to wade into neck-high waters to “rescue” ducks during the storm. “You should have seen this dumb broad,” says duck. “That’s right, I’m sexist.”

[0] A Daily News article warns of “storm-chaser contractors” who show up after disasters asking to be paid up front for cleanup work they never perform. For instance, sandyslist.com was registered only a couple days ago.

[-3] Nearly a third of all Wawa stores were still without power two days after the storm. “Right now we’re dealing with massive Shorti-falls,” says CEO Jeffrey Wawa. “And we’ve lost touch with the crew of the hoagie balloon.”

[+1] A Philadelphia woman starts an online petition to have the people behind HBO’s Boardwalk Empire donate money to assist in the rebuilding of Atlantic City. “Pay me up front,” she adds.

This week’s total: -8  |  Last week’s total: 3

Donations for the Hurricane Sandy relief effort can be made at redcross.org, salvationarmyusa.org, savethechildren.org and humanesociety.org.