[-3] Residents in Camden say a new crop of young prostitutes has begun working there. But the way they say it, it kinda sounds like advertising.
[-1] A water main bursts in Old City, spilling 5 or 6 million gallons of water. And for one glorious afternoon, the neighborhood doesn’t smell like Snooki barf.
[-3] A Former Philly police detective admits he ran a ring importing steroids and human-growth hormones from Europe and China and selling them in the city. “COP NEED TO GET STRONGER,” explains Sgt. Roy Rage of the Ethnic Parades and Festivals Unit.
 The teacher at Charles Carroll High School who compared her student’s Mitt Romney shirt to a KKK shirt reads a letter apologizing and saying she intended the comment to be lighthearted. Then she goes into a bit on the lighter side of genital mutilation. Ouch!
 After a Haverford child’s trombone is stolen, the Philadelphia Orchestra steps up to buy a replacement. Then folds.
[-2] A video posted online of an arrest on South Street during Oktoberfest shows a drunk man slapping a cop who then spears him in the face with a baton several times. “COP DEFENDING SELF,” explains Sgt. Rage.
[-1] West Chester woman Naomi Riches sues Casey Anthony for $3 billion, claiming Anthony is part of a conspiracy to film her, make her famous and kill her. Only about a third of that sounds likely.
 According to Riches’ suit, Anthony — working “in cahoots” with CNN personality Nancy Grace — had cameras implanted behind her eyes as part of an Illuminati plot. Nancy Grace goes into hiding; hosts five weeks of shows trying to find her own corpse.
[-1] A street-art blogger launches a campaign to install the largest public mural in the country on the back of the PSFS Tower. It will be a painting of the front of the PSFS tower. Mindfreak! Is that still a thing?
[-10] Longtime politician Arlen Specter passes away.
This week’s total: -21 | Last week’s total: -6