[-3] Residents in Camden say a new crop of young prostitutes has begun working there. But the way they say it, it kinda sounds like advertising. 

[-1] A water main bursts in Old City, spilling 5 or 6 million gallons of water. And for one glorious afternoon, the neighborhood doesn’t smell like Snooki barf.

[-3] A Former Philly police detective admits he ran a ring importing steroids and human-growth hormones from Europe and China and selling them in the city. “COP NEED TO GET STRONGER,” explains Sgt. Roy Rage of the Ethnic Parades and Festivals Unit.

[0] The teacher at Charles Carroll High School who compared her student’s Mitt Romney shirt to a KKK shirt reads a letter apologizing and saying she intended the comment to be lighthearted. Then she goes into a bit on the lighter side of genital mutilation. Ouch! 

[0] After a Haverford child’s trombone is stolen, the Philadelphia Orchestra steps up to buy a replacement. Then folds.

[-2] A video posted online of an arrest on South Street during Oktoberfest shows a drunk man slapping a cop who then spears him in the face with a baton several times. “COP DEFENDING SELF,” explains Sgt. Rage.

[-1] West Chester woman Naomi Riches sues Casey Anthony for $3 billion, claiming Anthony is part of a conspiracy to film her, make her famous and kill her. Only about a third of that sounds likely.

[0] According to Riches’ suit, Anthony — working “in cahoots” with CNN personality Nancy Grace — had cameras implanted behind her eyes as part of an Illuminati plot. Nancy Grace goes into hiding; hosts five weeks of shows trying to find her own corpse.

[-1] A street-art blogger launches a campaign to install the largest public mural in the country on the back of the PSFS Tower. It will be a painting of the front of the PSFS tower. Mindfreak! Is that still a thing? 

[-10] Longtime politician Arlen Specter passes away.

This week’s total: -21  |  Last week’s total: -6