The Bell Curve

The Forum Theatre at 23rd and Market closes down after almost 40 years in the porno biz, ex-Philly mobster Philip "Crazy Phil" Leonetti writes a tell-all book and more!

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The Bell Curve

CP's Quality-o-life-o-meter

[0] Mayor Nutter’s proposed bicycle-share program, which could have 1,200 bikes and 120 rental locations by 2015, would loan bikes for free for the first half-hour, then charge $5 every half-hour after that. Or, if you look at it another way, they’re just free forever. 

[0] The Forum Theatre at 23rd and Market closes down after almost 40 years in the porno biz. Because their last regular customer, Vigorous Joe, finally went blind. 

[+1] The landlord of the Forum Theater says he hopes to redevelop the property for a non-X-rated purpose. But so far two bulldozers have gotten stuck. 

[+3] After meeting with a group of skateboarders, City Councilman David Oh reduces proposed fines and makes other amendments to his anti-skateboarding bill. Then he starts smoking and wearing weird clothes. And when his dad’s, like, “When are you going to rake the yard?,” Councilman Oh’s, like, “Whatever, old man.”

[-1] The Inquirer and Daily News will separate from philly.com and put up paywalled web sites. Earn this, Metro.

[+4] Mayor Nutter appoints a “fact-finding group” to investigate reports of problems during the presidential election. “And I’m disbanding the factoid-finding group,” says Nutter. “They were too easily distracted. Good at Quizzo, though.”

[0] Ex-Philly mobster Philip “Crazy Phil” Leonetti writes a tell-all book in which he describes the many ways he daydreamed about killing his boss, Nicky Scarfo. Simultaneously invents suicide-by-memoir.

[-4] Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush is elected chairman of the board of trustees at the National Constitution Center. “I’m sorry I purged all those votes in 2000 just to get my brother elected president,” Bush fails to say. Not adding: “I know that my actions directly led to the deaths of all those people on 9/11 and in the subsequent military follies that followed. Also, the ruination of the economy, the rise of Karl Rove and the international shame of our once-great nation.”

This week’s total: +3  |  Last week’s total: -8

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