Andrew Dorff look
The sordid history of rock 'n' roll hair. You know how Carvel Ice Cream tries to convince you they've got
a different cake for every season even though they basically work
the same mold over and over again? ("Cookie Puss" is really "Dumpy
the Pumpkin" or vice versa.) It's the same thing with the world
of rock 'n' roll haircuts. Most of the styles are variations on a handful of themes. The
Beatles mop-top seemed like a cute idea: take a bowl cut and make
it longer. But then someone like Badfinger's Pete Ham (left) overdoes
it with a bunch of wavy bristles and the result is The Helmet,
a look that says: "No this isn't a bad toupee covered with Elmer's
Glue, it's all me." But even people with carefree hair can go wrong. Todd Rundgren
(right) wanted to keep the Beatle bangs in front but grew the
rest of his 'do long. Hello Sir Lancelot - it's a little medieval,
a little Evil Knievel. Then there's Sir Lancelot's evil twin, the Ancient Mariner - the preferred look for aging rockers that declares "I may not have
died before I got old, but I still got more dry flyaways than
all of you whippersnappers put together!" You've got to give Rod Stewart (right) credit for a style that
looks like the mane of an exotic bird. It's a sub-category all
its own: the Cockatoo. Rod's not only stuck with it for years,
but inspired legions of other rockers to follow suit. Laurie Anderson (left) is the missing link between the Cockatoo
and the Flobee. You remember the Flobee - that wonder of infomercial
products that allows you to trim your locks with a vacuum cleaner.
Rockers, always on the forefront of fashion, got into the chop
'n' blow look long before the rest of us even knew the Flobee
existed. Finally, we give you the hell heroin chic hath wrought: "I'll
Wait Another Day to Shower." The style that says, "I've been working
on a high school cafeteria line for the past three days straight."
Just be glad we didn't do this piece in scratch and sniff.
Rock Locks 
