Love/Hate

You told me that you wanted me to keep in touch. I don't have the nerve to do so and everytime I contact you I feel like I make this worse. So here goes, I'm doing the best I can to understand this, and I am ok. I haven't quite moved on, but I am not bitter or angry. I want you to know I meant what I said and I want you to be happy, even if it isn't with me. I want you to do what you need to and live the best life any man has ever lived. I just want you to know that I will always be here and that I pray one day we can be friends again. I know now that I will always love you. I am sorry you and I never got to that big house, and that I never had a million of your babies lol but I guess this just wasn't meant to be. I can handle the fact that you left and I can move on. But I hate the fact that i can't do nice things for you anymore, and that I can't call you my friend. I miss you and I still love you. I wish you wouldve offered because although it wouldn't be fair, and I wouldn't dream of saying this, I wouldve waited for you. I wouldve stood by you no matter what happened.