[+1] Jay-Z and Michael Nutter hold a press conference to announce the two-day Budweiser Made in America music festival in September. In fact, the mayor will now make an appearance anytime somebody comes to town to sell something.
 SeekingArrangement.com, a site that hooks up sugar babies with sugar-daddy dates, tells CBS3 that Temple University is its fifth-biggest source of young women. And on the demand side, it's 100 percent Wharton.
[-1] Camden police arrest 22 women for prostitution and related offenses during "Operation Corridor Sweep." Ladies, you could've gone anywhere in the world. Next time, choose Temple.
 According to a new report ranking 100 U.S. cities based on porn consumption, Wilmington is third and Philadelphia is 35th. Totally typed that one-handed.
 The Fraternal Order of Police announces it will leave Center City and breaks ground for its new 50,000-square-foot headquarters in the Northeast. "We just feel safer up here," says spokesperson. He then puts up the "No Girls Allowed" sign and runs home, where his mom has supper waiting.
 Police evacuate a building housing two police districts in the Northeast when a man turns over a live grenade he found inside a radio he bought at a flea market. The FOP retreats further north, plans a badass tree fort in Bensalem.
[+2] The city unveils the $4.9 million redesign of the 1.3-acre Sister Cities Park on the Parkway. Let's see, 1.3 acres = 56,628 square feet, so the city spent $86.50 per square foot. Now, we just called the Great American Cookie Company at the Echelon Mall, and they said a 16-inch personalized cookie-cake is $22. That means instead of installing new trees and shit, the city coulda carpeted the whole park in chocolate-chip cookies about five deep, with lots of overlap because they are round. And each cookie could've had a message on it — written in icing! We bet our Sister Cities would have loved that. Everybody loves cookies.
This week's total: +2 | Last week's total: -14