[-1] The Barnes Museum accidentally issues too many free preview tickets, leading to long delays for some visitors. Atmosphere of inaccessibility: preserved!

[+1] Former editor-in-chief of the Daily News Michael Days returns to that post, replacing Larry Platt. And as his parachute unfolds into the night sky, Platt is heard to wonder aloud: "I was editor-in-chief?"

[+1] Former Philadelphian walks around New York City topless to raise awareness of her right to do so there. Awareness raised.

[-1] New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg defends his aggressive stop-and-frisk program by linking Philly's rising crime and murder rate with the 2011 ACLU class-action lawsuit that decreased stop-and-frisks here. Sounds like somebody wants to frisk a certain former Philadelphian.

[-1] The Philly Department of Public Health is looking for other victims after one patron of Fishtown's Barcade is diagnosed with measles. God, that place is retro.

[-1] A rabid raccoon is spotted in Wissahickon Park. "Settle down. It's just measles," says raccoon, riding home on his penny-farthing bicycle. "I hope nobody beats my Golden Axe score while I'm home sick."

[-3] The state Fish and Boat Commission says factors like algae and hand sanitizer are making fish sick in the Susquehanna River. "What we need is fin sanitizer," says fish. "But seriously, it's the fracking. The fracking is killing us."

[0] Authorities say they won't press charges against the babysitter whose boyfriend put a child in a washing machine in a Camden laundromat. They will, however, press "spin cycle," because that shit is funny.

[+1] Members of the Philadelphia Orchestra head to China for a 10-day residency. Assuming they don't defect.

[+1] A Miami news anchor accidentally refers to the Sixers as "the Philadelphia 69ers." "Accident? I've seen them play," she says. "They suck at both ends."

This week's total: -3 | Last week's total: 1