[+1] The city is looking to sell the 810-spot parking garage under Love Park. Granted, the bottom two levels belong to the Rat Lord, so you’ll need to make a separate deal with Him.
 Pennsylvania unveils its voter-only ID card. You can pick one up at the Union League, the Philly Racquet Club, any Knights of Columbus hall and the Gap.
[-3] Joshua Scott Albert, who caused a stir with his Staph Meal blog, has more recently launched controversial Facebook pages called “I Support [accused cop killers] Chancier McFarland & Rafael Jones” and “Kill Mitt Romney.” “My friends think I’m hilarious,” says Albert, huddled in his perch beneath the Tacony-Palmyra Bridge. “Don’t you, Bag of Urine? And I know you like me, Face That Appears on the Wall When It Rains.”
[-2] Camden is considering demolishing the 85-year-old Plaza at Fifth and Cooper streets, the city’s last hotel. Plan B is to just give it a minute, see if it’ll collapse on its own.
 A Ukrainian company studying the instances of “good morning” and “fuck you” on Twitter declares Philadelphia one of the rudest cities in the country. Thanks, guys. Say, you know what else is rude? Dioxin poisoning. Good morning.
 Allstate Insurance ranks Philadelphians as the sixth worst drivers in the country. Go good morning yourself, Allstate.
 Eight people are evacuated when a Center City bathhouse catches fire. And only then do they realize that none of the sinks and tubs is hooked up to anything.
[-2] New Jersey will remove the emergency callboxes from the side of the Atlantic City Expressway, calling them obsolete. “Oh, I am going to fuck some people up,” says the Jersey Devil. “Yep, I’m real.”
[-1] While discussing abortion, Pennsylvania candidate for the U.S. Senate Tom Smith likens rape to having a baby out of wedlock. The good news is that our nation’s top old men are approaching a consensus on the lady parts’ problem.
This week’s total: -7 | Last week’s total: -7